All Comments on 'Bangin' My Neighbor'

There may be a good story line in here somewhere, but the writing was not good. Maybe an editor or a proof-reader would help? Sorry, but I didn't even understand what you were trying to say. Maybe English isn't your first language, so it's understandable. But, you should get some help with the writing.

Will there be more conversations?

Garbled, jumbled, disarrayed junk!

There may be something in the jumbled writing, bad syntax etc. but it is not here right now. You should read the story one word at a time before submitting it to make sure it makes sense. Or get someone else to read it first and proof read it for you.

I will chalk it up to a first effort and trust your next one will be better. Or even a rewrite of this one.

Good luck

This is a very rushed, mixed up, and confusing story. Very distracting. Do you know the difference between nodding your head, and shaking your head?

I agree with the others, it needs some work, especially grammar and wording.

It also showed the possibility of a good story.

Keep working on it and be sure to have someone proof read it before posting.

... but the beginning in particular is a bit rushed - no, more than just a "bit"

Slow down, and let the characters show who they are - you know, because you've been living with them, but the readers haven't

The sex was more realistic by far than most of what we see on this list

Get an editor and a proofreader - there are many volunteers on a list Literotica maintains Editors will have suggestions which you may choose to follow - but at least they will point out some of the things already mentioned

I gave the story a four because it was possible and because we were spared nine inch dicks, 38DD busts and the like, and because the protagonists talked like read people

waiting for the conversation to finish mmmmm infact cant wait

could have been good. instead, confusing. i hope you keep writing. editing and profreading is offered by literotica i believe.

I know this story was all over the place and I am so sorry. When I wrote this I was extremely drunk, I promise my next issue will be so much better. Thanks for all the critic!

Actually, I'm surprised it was approved... Embarrassing. :/

Innocence lost my wifes uncle fucked her and they kept doing it for a few years, I am sure that these people will continue fucking each other, all is OK as long as no one gets hurt.

always consequences,when dealing with others feelings.somebody will get hurt.

but i loved the outcome of the adventure. this was very entertaining, i want more. thanks for sharing

"Awe, you're a real cool friend."

It's "aww", "awe" is "an overwhelming feeling of reverence, admiration, fear, etc., produced by that which is grand, sublime, extremely powerful, or the like"