More chapters in this adventure?
... you could really do with a) proof reading and b) getting the help and advice of a good Editor!!
Your sentence construction sometimes lets you down.
For instance -
"He was crossing the parking lot when he saw a gold-colored Honda Accord pull into a parking space in front of the restaurant that had just been vacated." This sentence seems to indicate that it is the restaurant that "had just been vacated".
"He was crossing the parking lot when he saw a gold-colored Honda Accord pull into a parking space that had just been vacated in front of the restaurant." - Same words, different order - much better sentence construction.
I very much enjoyed this story. Well told. As for the "Anonymous" comments, if someone feels the need to criticize your spelling and/or sentence structure, he/she should have the "balls" to sign it. Don't let such assholes get you down! Hope there's more to this story. Thanks.
I enjoyed it! Would some editing assistance be helpful from one of the experts on here, maybe so and it might not hurt. I'd like to see this story continue a chapter or so more. The entire story line works and nothing too far fetched or outlandish thrown in.
I really enjoyed your story it was well told - arousing romantic and a great read
Please keep writing more
A beautiful piece of writing; A fantasy for some of us women. i want to meet a man like this.
First, to those who uncritially liked this story: Thank you.
To the anonymous critic: I take your point. Thank you.
To the anonymous (woman? 08-01-13): I'm very glad you liked this story and I hope you can find a man like the Ed charater I wrote. By the way, everything I wrote about the sexual scenes were things that I, myself have done, just not with the same woman on the same night.
This illustrates to me that you are a very good author; can't wait to read more of your offerings. I was a bit surprised a 50-year old man needed "insurance"....but then I'm still learning a lot of this stuff and I'm waaay over 50.
At 50 I didn't need "insurance" for an average sexual encounter. However, I doubt that I could have done what Ed does in the story without it.
Great writing and story. I hope you continue. Take their adventures on the road in search of rare books and who knows what.
I really, really enjoyed this story. While it's hot & made me very wet & horny, it's also romantic, gentle and loving. Thanks so much and keep up the good work!
Thank you anonymous wow. I'm glad you liked the story.
I read for the romance. The sex was well written. Keep up the good work!
ummmm.....made me really horny..want someone to fuck me like that.
I was very horny
love this!!!!!...I need an Ed in my life!
Glad you liked the story. I hope you can find and "Ed" suited just for you.
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