by Tx Tall Tales
funny tales in LW, it is okay to post this sorta funny story in Humor & Satire.
Besides, the non-men living in LW nowadays have no sense of humor.
Or sex-lives.
Or genitals.
well done take on "he who laughs last laughs hardest."
Fine tale, thanks for posting
She made him sell his grandad's guns in settlement ? Tsk, tsk ! If only conservative pundits were this funny. TTT did a great job in creating a character who does some borderline reprehensible actions, but couched in gritty humor - you just gotta recognize. *****
being an asshole supreme and a tyrant despot to only one, Non Sequitur. TK U MLJ LV NV
You way over did the "lol, I'm an asshole", and after running nearly a full story with him genuinely being the good guy being wronged, turned him into the real asshole that sleeps with other guys wives. I'm not talking about Sheri's lover - I'm talking about his shenanigans at Hedonism. When you become what you hate, and play this tearfully ironic spiel about how you got your revenge, it completely pisses away the goodwill of the reader to turn him into the kind of shithead the broke up his marriage in the first place.
Had me chuckling almost the entire time. Great story.
I wish we could edit. Delete if the typo is too aggravating, please.
@Anonymous "Not sure why this is in humor..."
Sorry it's unclear to some... The category is Humor/Satire. While there are humorous elements to the story, it is meant as a SATIRE of many Loving Wives stories. I thought by the end that would be quite clear, but it appears I'm mistaken.
Just wanted to clear that up. Thanks for all the feedback.
The repetition of "I'm the asshole" reads like Rodney Dangerfield's "no respect". It highlights the satirical tone, and adds some humor. It's a fun read.
Only criticism I have is the rants about the divorce terms were a distraction from the steady string of good humor.
For all of that well done
In fact, it would fit right in. It's truly great how Literotica gives wannabe writers an organized, well read, and free place to post erotica. Within all their categories, they have Loving Wives, even describing it as a place for "Married extra-marital fun: swinging, sharing & more", and all these bozos can do is criticize people who actually write stories about extra-marital fun, swinging and sharing. They applaud endless non-erotic misogynistic revenge fantasy. Personally I think it better qualifies as BDSM, because Sadism is Sadism, but the the lack of eroticism, or loving wives is striking. I'm guessing most have or had really bad marital issues. I'm also guessing I'd sympathize with any woman who found a man to escape their nasty attitudes, although I'd question any woman stupid enough to marry them in the first place.
Excellent satire. A nice break from life. I used to be an asshole. No more. Now I'm just a prick.
HA Ha ha
True satire. Thanks for taking the time to write this little tale. Goof for 5*.
Loved it! It was well written and extremely funny. There is an old saying that says that there is a lot of seriousness in jest. Translation: a joke is funniest when it is true. Jokes about dumb blondes don't work unless people know a dumb blonde or two. Stupid husband jokes or whore wife jokes aren't funny if there is a level of truth to them. This story was hilarious because it was so real. I could honestly see someone going through that and thinking like that.
My only issue with the story was that I HATED the wife. She cheated, but hey, everyone makes mistakes. Her biggest folly was that she was selfish enough to string another man along who was so in love with her that he overlooked her shit. Then she repays this man by leaving him at the altar. She was a bitch, and she should be left alone for a while. But other than that, great story. 5 stars!!!
You've been made deaf, dumb and blind by the pussy. You've let your family and friends bully you into taking her back. And you HAVE taken her back. You may not admit it to yourself, but it's clear as mud that you've knuckled under and accepted her back into your life. IDIOT! Lousy story about a man with NO balls.
you gotta love comments from people that have never been on the life side of that equasion.
Funny as hell! Very true to some of us out here. More more more... *****
Agree with others. Was a very funny story. Glad I ran across this one. Thanks.
Personally I think the writer did a great job on showing the inner crap that the cheated ON go through and then turn it to show humor throughout to get his point across. I liked the story for what it was a short funny romp through his character's reasoning.
I really enjoyed this one. The ones that didn't mut be WIMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. The BTB crowd cannot seem to step out of fantasyland long enough to face reality. He unofficially took her back. So what? It's their relationship, not ours. The inner dialog was BRILLIANT. The exchange with the "ex" as he finished documenting his story was the icing on the cake.
Real life does not fit into perfect little boxes that separate all of our emotions and relationships into neat categories. People are not perfect, and people are involved. There WILL be mess.
I like the way T3 pulled it all together.
Two thumbs up. Please keep writing.
The story was fantastic and I absolutely love the way Rick doesn't take s*** from anybody although the only part of the story I didn't get was the ending conversation "seventeen months, two weeks, three days since you fu**** that skank." 2 questions
1. Who is he talking to.
2. By skank do they mean Sheri? Or some random woman he met since he did say it was a year since he had been with any other woman.
Please will anybody tell me im soo confused. Please excuse my poor grammer if there was any.
I wouldn't have believed it was possible, but there are commenters who truly think this is one of their wish-fulfilment BTB stories, instead of a terrific mocking of those tunnel-vision exercises in self-indulgence.
It was like reading people commenting on Jonathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal" who were recommending barbeque sauces.
He gets years of unconditional repentance from the woman who he admits was the best he ever had, she gives him back all his money, leaves her devoted fiancee at the altar (after repeatedly telling him she loved someone else and would always go back to her ex-husband), gives him literally everything a woman can give a man, and some idiots applaud the dumb-ass for "sticking to his guns" (sort of) and continuing to reject her?
Pyrrhic victory. Look it up.
This story much like you're other stories left me with a satisfying smile but I wanted to know a lot more like what gender is the baby or how is the ex's ex doing or even some earlier moments that go into detail like when he went on vacation what were all the things he did over there or what the others were doing, This is my favorite story published by you Tx Tall Tales I really hope to see a sequel if not well I'll just have to learn how to live with it.
The only thing that really bugs me is she keeps saying "I love YOU," while she's letting her lawyers rape him in the divorce.
I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. The RAAC crowd cannot seem to step out of fantasyland long enough to face reality. He divorced her and refused to remarry her. His resolve to stick to his principles and his explanations for doing so against an unrelenting, unified opposition was BRILLIANT. The exchange with the "ex" as he put an end to her next marriage, got his money back and used her as the slut she proved to be, when she thought he was going to remarry her was the icing on the cake!
The love between husband and wife is the sweetest gift from God we can experience in this world. Our wedding vows are not limits to our behavior as much as they are our guide to find that gift. It's a sad commentary on society that so few couples honor their vows enough to experience conjugal love; even worse, that Rick would be castigated for refusing to accept his wife making a mockery of his marriage.
T3, thank you for a tale that burns the bitch, honors marriage and makes a mockery of reconciliation at any cost!
Two thumbs up! Please keep writing.
And yes, I did want to ridicule him.
he may come out on top of the heap. TK U MLJ LV NV
his family on the other hand is confused and messed up.
please look at the genre.
Great story, well written twists kept me guessing where you were headed to till the end.
If you have zero tolerance, which is a choice, clearly he was in the right... doesn't matter how sorry she is, she should likely have known.
And she's not brain dead - if she had REALLY not washed him to get screwed overt by the system, she could have stopped it. I don't think I like her a whole lot. She cheats on the man she says she loves with a guy she's not wild about; she does pretty much everything she can to crush the lover just because she can; she moves in with the lover though she loves her husband because, what, she'd rather have sex with the lover than get a job...?
Amazing that his family are such, oh, I don't know, "assholes"...? Granted, maybe (just maybe) what she did wasn't THAT bad... but to not blame her at all...? To make him the one who was completely in the wrong...? That's way wrong. I loved what he did and though he is with her, he still has the complete walk away potential.
I still thoroughly enjoyed this tale.
Do this many people really not get the concept of humor or fiction? Seriously? Did none of them read the author's name? Lol.
Tex, as always your story was well written and entertaining. It also kept enough reality to make it believable (as evidenced by the number of comments acting like it was nonfiction).
Bravo.
and now its my turn to be home team,. TK U MLJ LV NV
I normally top pick the high scored stories when I'm going thru any author's submissions, but I've enjoyed so much of your work that I just read. This doesn't follow your normal theme, but I truly enjoyed it.
Thanx!
dunno what to think .. read it n it makes sense but I just do not know what to think
And this is also humorous. Nothing funny about cheating, but we can find humor in lots of situations.
Loved this!
“Then spent the next few years taking money from me” – Interesting time-frame; he was paying $1200 a month for three years, now she’s re-marrying after three years. My understanding is that maintenance stops upon re-marriage. Did she deliberately delay re-marrying to get every drop of maintenance from him?
So, who's he talking to? If it's Sheri, who's the "skank" she's talking about? I think the skank is Sheri, and he's found someone better!
I'll be the Asshole this time, it's a damn story. If he was talking to Sheri at the end of the story I can live with that.
His Mother and family got what were they saying about him? She got what she wanted and he got what he really wanted and, he got it free Hell everybody got what they wanted. He got to stay an Asshole which everyone to came to call him. He acted the part like they wanted him too! Sheri put up with it but, again she got what she wanted. Yeah that was her at the end of the story, Makes sense to me.
I laughed my ass off. You have such a wide range of skills, serious , sexy, angry, funny. And, you're good at them all. Thanks for another great offering. 😊
This story makes a poignant statement about human relationships; parody for sure but right on the money.
All of the outside interference reminds me of a woman who had her daughter-in-law have sex with three of her sons, the brothers to her husband. She had three children, one each from her brothers-in-law, none by her husband. And the entire town knows the truth. And the husband is such a cuckold wimp, that he puts up with it.The funny thing is that the husband stole her away from her first husband. Karma.
cruel and very amusingly told. Is divorce really like that? ..... er I guess yes it is.
Just as no good deed goes unpunished, the best way out of victimhood is to be a complete bastard, sorry asshole. I liked the percentage points on the ways cheating is discovered too at the beginning.
who is that 'a little different'?
The guy surely is the Asshole. If at least he was not such a wimp with all the negative input he received from family and friends he would at least have some retrieving good points.
Loved that one and even if not married sounds like she is in his life alone more then would admit.
I wouldn’t touch the cheater with a 10 foot pole, but I still liked the story. 4*
Be like Chad and be an asshole to women. Chad's always get women wet and women always want to fuck Chad. Chad will always fuck them but Chad will never marry them. Be like Chad!
One for Lit's bottom feeders and BTB brigade to wallow in.
Good story sort of enjoyed reading it. Even though she cheated she really did love him and he took advantage of it.
I enjoyed it. Not a nice story about a nice person but thats what makes it so enjoyable, yeah the MC is an asshole but you can't really blame him. Love of a wife and the family doesn't excuse cheating and taking her side. I almost wish this was a BTB story on the whole family, both sides.
So the whore lives in his house, spends his cash, had a kid he will be forced to pay got got 26 years under our current legal system.
How is he not a cuck?
Loved it! Absolutely tongue in cheek. Thank you for your time and talent. DMW
5 STAR
Although should have been docked for Rick not taking Sherri up on having her bestfriend join.
"paid her $23K of the proceedings." Proceeds is more likely. Maybe find an editor.
Loved the Asshole! My Dad told me along time ago to Embrace being an Asshole. because if you are a Good Asshole it takes a lot of work. and he was Right.
Discombobulated
Poorly written, sounds like a whiney madman talking. What a waste of time to read
Could he be more of a pussy. Was your i intension to write him that way? Asshole no. Gigantic pussy, yes. 2* because i hate weak men. Yes he got it all in the end but he was a pussy 90% of the story .
Left me chucklin'
The moral of the story I think is, Good Pussy is hard to give up!
Yarnspinnerr
This story works well in the humor category.
You know what else is humorous?
The comments by "Anonymous" and the comments by people who have no stories posted, who find fault with other people's work!
Now that's fucking funny
Yarnspinnerr
Whenever I read stuff like "He's a real man, and he's not gonna take that kind of shit." I just know that it will be some variant of the standard incel-fantasy written by some overweight guy with questionable hygiene living in his parents basement...
I wouldn't try this in my home jurisdiction (which is in Canada, but is not Québec). The courts here are prone to consider being shacked up for a year as equivalent to "common law" married for various nefarious purposes, such as very ugly "palimony"-style suits. So basically the only way to protect your assets is don't marry, don't shack up and don't even think of having sex with anyone until you have the lab test results back from your no-scalpel vasectomy. I'd add "...and come out as homosexual" but in these parts even there you aren't safe from gold diggers.
The way this story is written, it lacks closure. There needs to be one clear once-and-for-all break between the two at the end of this to give it some finality. Ideally, this should happen when she's nine months pregnant and he suddenly, inadvertently reveals out of the blue that he absent-mindedly left both vasa deferentia at some random vasectomy clinic two or three years ago... and then proceeds to demand a DNA test to expose the paternity fraud.
I learned from my sweet passed away wife that all women who are married have two assholes. One nature gave them and the one they trapped, US. Just remember when they call us asshole we are theirs. Keep track of which you are. I was #5 and never let her forget.
A truly loving couple, I loved it. There just ain't no accounting for the people some people marry! I think the best some of the best relationships are ruined by that little piece of paper. 5 stars.
Could not read it, too much bullshit. If the husband brings his house into the marriage his spouse has no claim on it, also any inheritance he receives is not part of community property, it is solely his. The story might have been humorous but I could not get past the stupid results of the divorce to continue reading.
Unbelievable female character.
First she cheats on her husband because she feels sorry for her old boyfriend.
Second she helps her brother et al financially rape him. She participated in that because she had to sign the documents so she knew what she was doing.
Then she moves in with a man she clams she never loved. She becomes his kept woman. He gives her loads of gifts and she gives hm gratitude sex for three years. So admits she was basically prostituting her body to get the life-style she wanted.
She admits she was using this guy and knew it.
Then when she finally gives in and agrees to marry him she fucks her ex-husband less than an hour before the wedding.
Then on the her honeymoon weekend while she is fucking her ex-husband she tells hm everything about her life as a kept woman. Can't tell whether she was confessing or bragging. Based on her character, I would bet on the latter.
I hope you did not create this character based on someone you knew in real life. If so I feel sorry for you.
Gave it a one star not because I didn't think that the author didn't do a really good job but because he went to far just like things have in our society. For a long time women got screwed now men do we need to take the emotion out and replace it with reason. Not going to happen. Ever.
A woman must have written this fantasy. No way would a MAN ever take her back. Waste of time. Try someone else. LM