by wakingDown
Illusions in the Cosmic Web of Maya
This one doesn't feel done to me. The last three stanzas don't follow what I thought was being set up. Maybe I don't understand it.
re the structure, only supports so much
cut it back a little, to many, to many words, nice variation the one word as a span between blocks
just my take
which is what we all have in common, TK U MLJ LV NV
I like the movement of this, start to finish, but I agree with 1201, could be pared down.
greenmountaineer