All Comments on 'drunk at 18'

Really like the first stanza of this. I usually dislike the I/i capitalization but it works here. I think you cold almost have stopped at the end of that stanza as an entire poem. As it moves on, it would benefit from verbal or sound links between verses. For example, breathing in stanza 1 links to AIRplane in stanza 2. It would be stronger if you changed that second stanza slightly to : there's a plane/ above/stealing air or something like that. Play on plane (airplane) and plane as in higher consciousness. Just something to think about. Welcome and this is a good start.

and a good finish, but I think it's been used before

how well you express it, nicely done, especially the first three verses