by Nrlynkdbabe
This looks like a real winner! Can't wait for the next chapter!
I am thrilled to see the return of Nrnkdbabe after so long of an absence. Hooray for Nikki and I cannot wait for the next installment
I appreciate all of the comments and votes. It's great to be back posting adventures. I am on Twitter Nrlynkdbabe@twitter.com there I will post updates about new stories and will answer any questions
Great to see your return. A very nice start to what I am sure is going to be a great series ... can't wait for the continuation.
Always enjoy your stories. This one is off to a great start. Looking forward to the next installment!
Niki it so great to see you back!
Hope we don't have to wait too long for the rest of the story.
Yvonne
I normally don't like series stories because they are too slowly paced, but this is the first one I like and want to read more from. Please continue the story quickly.
It's been a long time since you last posted. Welcome back!
Fantastic anticipation build-up. I am savoring every detail in your story over and over again.
Nikki,
How long do we have to wait for the rest of this??
I ned more!!!
Yvonne
Once again you have made my day. Love all your stories and do hope you post more of this one. But you seem to take forever between chapters. Please don't make your fans wait any longer.
Nikki I check for new stories from you every few months. Thank you very much for this delightful opening chapter. It made me so very very horny. Please post the next soon.
Nearly Naked Babe, your stories always inspire me, both to have fantasies about your nudity, as well as my own. And they also inspire me to try things in real life. Although, I'm not as brave as you, I've tried some safer versions that I can get away with and avoid arrest or being seen by unintended viewers. You're part of the reason why I enjoy trying when I can. Thanks for paving the way!
I don't get on the site much anymore. I figured you had moved on and forgotten your loyal fans. What do I find today, the start of another amazing adventure. I am soooooo excited. But alas, fair maiden, there is no end to the story and no satisfaction for my little friend. Why would you tease us so? PLEASE continue the adventure so that I can find the outlet I need to release the pressure you've stirred up inside!!! David WANNABENUDE
WHEN are we going to get the rest of this story??????????????????????????
This is such an erotic and well written story, but it desperately need continuation... I hope that someday (hopefully soon enough) we'll have the pther chapters follow this one. It's really frustrating to see story that is left unfinished... Please, finish the story :)
I gave it 5 * for the bio photo. The story was fine, but full of sentence fragments, some over-punctuated, some under. Suggest you read aloud, and punctuate when you would intend to pause in the reading, otherwise leave plain. Punctuation is a nit - but for the reader, it really does help sort out things, particularly when there's a series of phrases or elements. It also intentionally slows things down, which is what you want sometimes (like in the following, making it drawn out - as a guy, I know if I were Ed, I'd prefer the slow and deliberate strip, not a quick one, in this case). Sentence fragments can be effective, but again, an out-loud reading can help sort out which work and which don't. Here's your last paragraph, re-edited only for that sort of thing.
"I looked at Ed, then around us, and saw no one in our immediate area. I stood up and slipped my hands under my skirt, grasping the sides of my G-string, pulling it down to the tops of my thighs. I sat back down, slipped off my sandals, then slid the G-string down my legs and off, placing it between us on the bench. I slipped my sandals back on as Ed stood waiting for me to join him for the walk to the car. My G-string was left on the bench."
That said, the photo - wow! You really need to make one of these an "Illustrated" version, including (headless if you like) shots of you in the situations described in the story - that would get rave reviews, I assure you, and even I would pay no attention to the punctuation!
Wish you'd finish this story
Checked you out on twitter all it says is that you post on literotica
wish that were true