by todski28
melt hearts , playin' in ya billycart , -------we were all so young , vulnerable , carefree once , Tod ---gr-8 sentiments here , thnx for sharin' !
The word play in the first part is delightful and then you have this nice smooth shift into a clear voice where you are telling the child something but it seems more like a distinctive voice than a bunch of information. You have so got the gift, buddy. Nobody learns this fast unless they do!
I love the simple innocence of this one. It is beautiful and real, reminds us of the simplicity of childhood. LOVE it!
Agree about the different tone on the two sections. Only thing I can say, here, is that I would perhaps have pushed the difference, making the second section (an adult's advice) more punctuated, to make it contrast even more with the free flow of the first section. Just an idea...