by Cupcakee
I don't have to "worry" about being dominated. I'm not. And never will be.
I didn't know this until sort of recently.
Actually, he still acts very dominating AND wears women's clothing at home also.
I'm emotionally exhausted from all this. And confused. Very confused.
And I'm not "conservative" or against all kinds of sex/gender changes--
but a person should be prepared, have some understanding--
know they'd be giving up the person they had thought they loved--
Oh, I've had a woman lover before I married.
But I told him about all this. He didn't tell me.
Gay is easy for me to understand. But a serious fetish for women's clothing and makeup and a seeming desire to not be male--
I don't think I should be able to understand and accept any and everything. I don't understand. I'm confused.
I've only skimmed this story, but it's "normal" compared to what I'm adjusting to. And I really love this--person--and am adjusting. I understand--somewhat--what s/he's going through. And I feel more and more passionately about her/his right to her/his sexuality. I gotten so passionate about this topic I feel hysterical--like I'll stand before a mob (like right?!!!!!!!!!!!) and say I'll let you kill me before I won't stand in front of him/her. AS IF--)
In a way it's a deeper kind of romantic love. And I'm getting him to speak out about things. And--
my son's going to Africa!
And--I'm very, very into especially girls enjoying peeing.
about enjoying this story--a lot.
My husband would enjoy more than I ever could. Due to this extra--thing--forbidden, whatever.
In fact, now I feel freer to enjoy it. HE'S not worried about enjoying it.
But with his "shadow" over me, as I read it--
I will--God help me--do everything within my power to relish this story about cocksucking and cum-swallowing.
with everything it means to be a female--he still wants to be one.
I don't mean like physically changing his sex or anything like that.
I'm just now realizing this. While I'm being freaked out by all this-- I've told him so much about how I've felt so hurt by being female and--yes--culturally--inferior--even in America.
And my husband reveals to me--his secret--that he's all his life had to hide his "feminine" self, in his words his "girl self."
He meant it when he expressed feminist political views.
My psychologist, "Why do think he's telling you this? Pat."
(No. He couldn't REALLY want to be one of the kind I am.)
he's started wearing women's clothes and makeup--sometimes--and the thing is--he doesn't think the kind of being I am is something too degrading for him to be.
Oh. You don't realize most males DO think this? Think again and again.
I don't want to ever again live with another human who will not be willing to BE FEMALE LIKE ME.
p.c.
it reminds me of Marnie in the movie by that name: paraphrased: Marnie: "I need to freshen up." Mark: "You're fresh enough."
can come any time she wants to. All she has to do is cross her legs and squeeze her thighs together--with her natural rhythm. She's a poet and genius afterall.
Then "write a little poem about it." Belle & Sebastain
And William Packard will use it--your poem--in his poetry writing class. And include female students quotes in his intro to a NYQ issue. How disgusting your poem is they say. The girls in the class. "I mean, '19: Narcissicist (sp?)' is just gross." (Paraphrased.)
Another girl: "Covey's just talking about masturbation. We all do it. We just don't want to admit it." Paraphrased.
Girls who wouldn't blink an eye when reading "Portnoy's Complaint." Well, he's a guy. Females just have to hold it in and suffer.
Not. She's never just "held it in and suffered" when there was no reason to. (She tried not to have an orgasm during parts of her pregnancy, afraid of a miscarriage.Until when she was overdue to give birth. Then she just thought, go for it. This baby's late. Come ("cum's" crude, sexist -- I'll fucking talk like an English major if I want. Assholes.) all you want. Now you're just helping things along.