All Comments on 'Waking From a Nightmare'

You called her Melinda at one point. Excellent story!

I had a feeling something wasn't right with Mel but was surprised she was in cahoots with Wayne.

There was a lot of editing needed. Also the meanings to some Aussie words you used could have been listed before or after the story, not during, it breaks the flow of the story.

While the storyline delivers, the execution is a bit lacking. I think you haste too much in the dialogue where the development could easily have been shown instead of sort of narrated. Deep crises occur and your characters talk them through rather quickly and with lack of emotion. They talk about their emotions but they do not seem to feel them. I have not met people yet which I believe would react that way.

A girl jumping on you like Mel would surely have rung a lot of warning bells.

The end was rushed - from the unveiling of the sick character of Mel's to "whoops - she's dead" in a few words. And the police officer would never have told the events that way. Soooo - I think a re-write would be good, also because your other stories show you can do a lot better.

Cheers...

Once again, a very good plot, but slightly spoiled by the speed of events. There's no means of showing time passing between happenings. I think you might like to think about slowing things down a bit.

Bloody Good yarn, though.

just shows what jealousy can do to people and just how far they will go.....pity they never found the lorry driver who murdered his wife......and pity that asshole copper chose the cowards way out...at least they both saved the state money by not having to keep them in gaol and his new love will be able to look after him so much better....

For people who enjoy psychological thrillers this is a must read.

The plot is excellent, though the delivery needs the help of a skilled editor.

Worst criticism, and an unusual one, too short.

The Hoary Cleric, a guest at this site.

Are there parts of this story missing? The plan was for the guy to return that evening for dinner with his in-laws. His sister-in-law drove him home. The were stopped by police. When he got home they ate with his parents & went to bed. What happened to dinner with the in-laws?

Everything went way too fast. Without any relationship development, she says she’s always loved him & they talk about kids. I gave up before I got halfway through the story.