by oneiria
lacks a little
i.e. Bring on the bats. Bring out the bats
even Summoner of the bats
5
small but big. like the end line though 12's idea of 'bring on the bats' makes a little more punch there. my only problem, a minor one, is the 'bleeds' thing . . . we've all used it, it's a very fitting conceit, but i just feel i've read it too many times and so it feels a little stale.