All Comments on 'Chrysalis'

by demure101

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  • 5 Comments
Ashesh9Ashesh9over 10 years ago
Butterfly , o

demure butterfly

sweet is thy

Poetry

thus spake i !!

5-ed

Ashesh9Ashesh9over 10 years ago
Stay rhymes with " away " , " until" with "fill" , "first" with "thirst ":

if a mirror is kept between 3rd. 'n 4th. line it's like a symmetry !!

Oldbear63Oldbear63over 10 years ago
Really nice Demure

Beautiful use of words and structure to catch the sentiment. But I need to write you one of winter...

twelveoonetwelveooneover 10 years ago
#2 comment

by Ash, is specific. 5ed, but how old this? Is the fact that this is a Chrysalis, instead of hibernation new enough?

L2 nice. But it looks like a sleepwalk, outside of the rhyme scheme. That said, I am glad to see comments on yours, hope some newer writers can learn from you, Disagree? I'd love to hear it.

Also consider the ratio, of what you have to say in your poetry, versus comments on others.

LesseloovesPeterLesseloovesPeterover 10 years ago

But those moments through winter you miss are part of life as well...even if they are hard to face...

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