All Comments on 'So Completely'

by MzFly

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  • 5 Comments
todski28todski28over 10 years ago
the final two lines

say so much,

"the feel of your skin beneath me",

making you the dominant, having your way with him, to fulfil your wants and desires,

"I want you so completely"

completely being such a broad defining word that it creates that sense of want and need, for the person in question.

I think you may be able to lose the second line

and make it slightly higher impact on the final line, where the rhyme adds a highlight

but here you have a repetitive echo that doesn't seem to add meaning.

like this 5-ed

DocSavage656DocSavage656over 10 years ago
I Loved It "So Completely"

Wow that was a passionate, loving composition that expresses the pain of loving someone so much it hurts.

I always look forward to your beautiful works that never disappoint the reader.

Please keep up the great work and thanks for sharing your talent.

Doc

adidasgaladidasgalabout 10 years ago
I'M LOVING IT

OMW! These poems are so addictive. Sweet, short and Exceedingly Hot!

** EROTICISM AT IT'S BEST **

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Wow! MzFly, - "So Completely" - Is Amazing!

"The feel of your skin beneath me."

It's like you're speaking directly to my feelings. - The feel of her hot breath. - The taste of her lips. - I know it's not pretty like you could write, but it's how I feel...

HotSexyLesbian: Toula.

MigbirdMigbirdover 2 years ago

So much to say in so few lines.

Thanks

Anonymous
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