All Comments on 'The Pizza Boy'

Shallow, rushed, unmemorable. I believe, you forgot to create a good characters and the main thing - plot. Yes, I noticed it's your first work. Congrats from me. Next time, when you feel the urge for writing, do a favor for yourself, as a writer - find a good plot. Add best characters you can create to that plot. Make the readers believe in your story.

Writing is a job, like any other job. If you do a half-assed job, everyone will notice. Good luck.

Not realistic for 99% of the readers. I suggest going to the category Humor & Satire and read a few of the hall of fame stories as inspiration for your writing. I do appreciate the first time effort and am sure your next story will be much better. If you want to know what people really think about your story, allow the readers to vote on it.