All Comments on 'Kneel Behind Me'

by theoncomingstorm

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  • 3 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Okay story

But lacking compelling writing, clever dialogue or interesting characters it was mundane at best.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago

Liked it. There's a lot of backstory for a one off, makes the second part seem very rushed maybe try to redress the balance? Good read otherwise.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Enjoyable read

I'm enjoying all of your stories. They're thankfully free of the typical typos and grammatical gaffs of a few too many writers on this site and that really helps the flow. The sex scenes are detailed enough to let the reader go along for the ride yet not so detailed as to disrespect their imaginations. All in all, good stuff! Thanks for the effort and for sharing your fantasies. They're pretty hot! If I were to offer one suggestion, it would be the old writer's maxim of "Show, don't tell." I know that's hard to do in a short story, but, whenever possible, I'd show the characters doing things that demonstrate their personalities rather than simply telling us what they are like. An easy way for you to do that, since you really seem to nail dialogue, is to expose their character through what they say. Again, pretty damn hard to do a lot of in a short story format, but you've demonstrated that you can do it and do it well. I'd just ask that you try and do it more. Okay, thems my two cents and thanks again for some very entertaining stuff!

Anonymous
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