by SirSinn
the chapters are just too short, other than that I can't find anything wrong with it
Chapters are way Too short and it really shouldnt be taking this chump so long to get over his asinine objections.
Love it. Too bad about the short chapters though. =(
Hope he fucks them soon. ><
Can't wait until one of these bodaciously busty pornstars actually takes his cock up inside her pussy or deep up her ass.
Love the series, but the chapters are too short, and I want to see more of Pornoland - we've gotten glimpses of the differences between universes, but really need to get full on coverage of Alex losing himself within Pornoland. Love alternate universe stories, though - anyone have recommendations for me?
Please hury to the fucking and make it longer, please? Really enjoyed it so far
The only problem with your story is that it's not finished yet. I want more of this great story. There is so much he can do. Fuck his mom and sister. Maybe an aunt or a gandma if he has one. He can be arrested by a busty cop who is a big fan of his. The possibilities in pornoland are endless.
Lots of comments about the story being too short - - it's around 3,500 words which (and I've done the math) is only a few hundred short of the median length of all stories published on the same day that this went live. Hell, two stories were posted which were both under 1,000 words!
Here's my promise - - everything I write from now on (not including the few chapters I've already got done which are the next two or three submissions) will be at least 4,000 words long, okay? I've no doubt some of you will still say that's not long enough but I also don't doubt that if every story I posted was 10,000 words long, there'll still be people wanting them to be longer.
4,000 words per chapter minimum - - take it or leave it.
@Anonymous - - shouldn't take him this long? Sometimes teasing is good, man!
@TheTitLover - - I think we can guarantee that'll happen at some point!
@Anonymous - - we'll get to see more of Pornoland in the next chapter.
@Littleprick - - no aunts or grandmas but plenty of other ladies for Alex to meet soon.
you might not think it is too short but you should test it first. if you dont cum by the time you finish reading its to short!
How the hell am I supposed to deal with the thousands of readers who are all going to cum (or not) regardless of how long a story is?! Just because you haven't cum by the end of a 3,500 word story doesn't mean no-one else has!!
I've never deleted a comment on any of my stories but the above comes close just for being so fucking obtuse it's unbelievable!
That last anonymous comment was a joke. It had to be.
As far as length I do agree with the other comments that it does seem short. However, I don't think that is necessarily because of the number of words but how much of a story you tell. Up until this chapter and the meeting with the agent the other parts have felt like an introduction of sorts and for it to have taken almost 2.5 posts is a step back from your other stories. I have read and enjoyed your other work and with those you seem to tell a larger portion of the story with each submission. Hopefully going forward more of the story is told with each subsequent chapter.
By the way I appreciated reading your submission about comments/votes. I don't always vote and hardly ever comment but I also didn't realize authors cared about it like you did.
Fantastic, and very well written. I'm glad you're finally adding some sex into this series, the premise has tremendous potential.
Don't get mad because the story is too short, what's the point in that? Anyways great story so far I hope you continue
I do enjoy a good alternate universe story, and this looks to have the makings of one.
and it is well written.
so, keep going.
Finished chapter 5 so that should be up in a week or two - - longer stories means it takes longer to write them, people!
Great story so far! I realy like the fact that your taking your time getting to the inevidable. I'm holding back from cumming untill he fucks them. Almost lost it this chapter.
If the second incidence had occurred AFTER the combination of the hair pulled into slut handles AND the huge cleavage showing, taut bare belly revealing, pink crop top AND the shortest, round butt cheek not-covering shorts ever seen, we would most likely not be having this conversation, but the second occurrence of "I was sat" came first.
Then, I remembered your bio said, 'the UK', so I took to the Internet, (after I finished Ch 4!), to see if 'I was sat' is grammatically correct in England; it is not correct in the US, (but then according to some in England, we don't actually speak English in US.)
What transpired was my reading of a surprisingly interesting discussion on "Pain In The English", (well, at least the first 20-30 posts/comments were interesting, then the topic got a bit shop worn and weary.)
sat v sitting URL:
http://painintheenglish.com/case/4796
Not exactly the kind of discussion one normally finds in the US.
One of the final comments I read at "Pain..." mentioned "Estuary English", with a Wikipedia link, which led to 5 minutes unlike any I've ever experienced; 'enlightening entertainment', to say the least.
Wikipedia URL:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Estuary_English
So, is it grammatically correct in England? You'll just have to read the posts...
+=+=+=+
Good story and mechanics, (a few miscues here and there, but not distracting), and solid character development. Great description of female anatomy AND attire.
Don't worry about the complainers going on about no sex; they're the same kind who doesn't appreciate that a partially, or even fully, clad woman can be phenomenally more sexy and arousing than a completely nude one.
Like my gramps used to say, 'Once you've ate the cake, you got dirty dishes and all that sweet anticipation is gone.'
Thanks for the read...
GeoD