All Comments on 'An Old Red Barn'

Quite simply the best poem I have read on Literotica this year.

Lyrical, simple description combined with story and sensitivity of feeling. It is a style of writing I cannot write myself but deeply, deeply respect and admire in Oldbear.

Heart rending Tale , Old Bear !!

You can only trust others to respect what they think is important. The tragedy is that people so rarely agree on what those things are. And well, children tend to respect very little.

so well, you get entranced in the scenes with the use of explanation on the senses, smell, sight touch, depth of emotion, you guide the reader with out boring them, the only critique is the over use of the word "and" some places it fits but others it adds a bit of a harsh echo to your narrative, this is a definite 5 Oldbear!

I picked this passage because I think it shows you what I mean about the word "and"

I smelled old wood and old hay and earth

As he spoke of the age and construction

And explained the old falls and the tackles

Used to lift and stack hay through the years

There again I don't know if you write with a syllable count or if like me you write to an internal rhythm that only you seem to notice hahaha

thanks for this very strong poem, as most of yours are :-)