All Comments on 'Alex & Maggie: The Bet'

but needs more back story

drop the use of "2" for "two". It's irritating to read and looks like it's written by a high schooler. Check for continuity; at the end they're supposed to make the host happy, not the guest. Little slipups like that and the sloppy texting conventions break the flow of the story.

How did the siblings get together, sexually? What have they done together, and "who" have they done together? As this is written, I feel like I'm watching a film whose beginning I missed and then it suddenly ends without warning. Just a fragment of a story, you know?

Keep going please!

I don't know what is with this current trend of cutting it off in the middle of a sex scene, but stop it! Other than that, everything is kosher to me.

No, it doesn't need more back-story. Never write to the lowest common denominator. Intelligent readers will fill in their own background. Less is more!

You should, however, skip things like texting shortcuts. It really is a turn-off.

I'm looking forward to the next episode.

I think you're off to a great start. You've given us characters, relationships, and sex, the three most important components to build with. I agree with the other comments that you are always better off with proper English for writing than with abbreviations, especially nonstandard abbreviations. That's an easy change to make, and having an editor is always helpful in producing a fine finished product.

This piece is obviously the middle of a longer story, most likely that story is the sexual relationship of Alex and Maggie. Don't worry that you haven't yet written more. Someday you may decide to write the chronological beginning or ending of the larger story, or you may not, and that is a matter of taste as much as anything. In the mean time, publishing some spicy scenes is an excellent way to get started!

only a total idiot starts a story in the middle. it is the writers job to tell a COMPLETE story with a beginning a middle and an end. so far this is only the middle third and a waste of time delete and rewrite starting at the beginning LIKE YOU SHOULD HAVE.

i wish that was me man