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Opening My Marriage

byandoverblonde©
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Comments (8)
by Anonymous

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by shareher4fun02/16/14

Pretty good, but too much dialogue

You have a good story going here, but the extent of the dialogue is too much. It is not the most effective way to tell the story. I appreciate you writing, I am just stating my opinion in what I hope is a constructive manner. You have done well with the dialogue, I simply think if you mix in a little third person or first person it would add by way of balance.

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by SplendidSpunk02/16/14

Very Good

I disagree, I love the pure dialogue, the back and forth banter as the action unfolds. I look forward to what I hope is a second installment of this adventure.

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by honey_licker112402/16/14

Very good!

I like this style because for a short story, it is a refreshing change from what we normally read here. But by all means, pleeeease don't stop here. Let the flirtation continue and show us what happens on the beach, in a secluded spot, where no one can see.

Good writing. No grammar mistakes. 5 stars

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by thebuffalo02/16/14

Nice piece of writing. The amount of dialogue was a bit much for me, but you did warn.

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by Lickideesplit02/16/14

Dialogue is GOOD!

Teasing is CRUEL!
(Unless Hubby likes it that way!)

Sun God will burn Sweetie!
(But Sweetie likes it that way!)
((Cream-pies for everyone!))

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by dolcecazzo02/16/14

Like my Wife Teaser

Yes my wife is a teaser she tell me stories at work when they have some party sometimes she dance with co-workers they get hard and she like to make them come in they pants hoping to fuck her, she like the power she has on them but no sex I sometime find it hard to believe her ?

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by SparksWillFly02/16/14

Opening My Marriage

Not opening our marriage. That says it all.

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by newtype252502/21/14

incredible tease!

Thank you for the great story! I loved this even though I was missing more details, which you warned us about, I loved the dialog. Please continue this is you can! Also is possible, a rewrite with vivid details would be an awesome thing. ;-)
Thanks again!
Cheers

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