All Comments on 'An Unexpected Reaction'

The author's postscript nailed it. This should have been a two-parter. This had a real chop-shop feel like a vehicle assembled 50:50 from Corvette and Mustang parts. There was a melange of interesting concepts that never jelled as a cohesive whole.

I liked the idea of friends covering up for one of their friend's affairs and then them getting ruinous fallout upon discovery. Becky's affair sort of needed a rationale in terms of WTF was she thinking? The street urchin morphing to wife was another idea that threw off sparks, but never grabbed me. I've known some IRL and it would take a combination of Ghandi and St, Francis to peel away the layers of dysfunction.

I do admire Don qhml1 for tilting his pen and charging these tantalizing themes but collectively they spun in circle too quickly to be properly harnessed. Based on his resume, however, tthere's a high likelihood of success next time out. The high percentage of hot ratings show that this author is no literary donkey.

Once again, you've written a masterpiece. I love the way you can project the characters in your stories and how you paint the tapestry of the plot. You set a very high bar for the rest of us to try to meet. Once again, congratulations.

Whenever I see your name attached to a story I think about waiting to read it... for a second or two. Your stories are always a treat to read.

Five stars.

(You got a little sloppy with the typos about midway on.)

Or at least, be verry, verry, careful.

Like LSD, I also know some street kids - arguably, I was one myself.

It is dangerous to get involved with them. People have been killed. Not that helping people is bad, but the negatives, and difficulties, are not gone into at all in this piece.

Other than that - a sweet tale. Not sure the inter-story linkage improved the narrative (MMA meets MBA, if you missed it). Not a lot of change in the protagonist - the second chance woman was the one with the transformation, but without a narrative voice, it didn't take center stage. The heavy didn't change at all.

The investigation of what ones' friends owe one, in relationship problems, seems to me simplistic. Not sticking your hands into a hornets' nest is understandable. Facilitating adultery is kinda over the top, but then again you have to ask is it if the adulterer is being beaten at home? Not a simple situation, in my estimation.

Thanks for the work -

Green-something

(let's see - if you get either DQS1 or Rehnquist to do any writing for Lit in any forum, I will nominate you for demigod status... just sayin')

This was a really good story. Did I say it was really good, hope so, because it was really good!

I was happy to have the whole story in one sitting. A fun read and a happy ending. Intriguing characters, compelling plot and an angry man becoming a content man with a strong, good woman. Whats not to love?

Typos and whatnot aside (not enough of them to really detract for me) it left me with a smile on my face. Thanks!

Great story - worthy of Hall of Fame group

...every now and then I get hold of a story that holds a grip on me until I am through with it.

This story is one of those. I enjoyed every minute. You have got a great talent and it is good to see you are using it.

Of course: 5*

Thanks for sharing.

A great read. I emjoyed it, thank you. But a Dodge Dart doing 180? Yeah no.

A wonderful story that was very well written. The characters were very engaging.

Another great story with lots of nice twists and turns. To me it seems that it had been a while since the last posting but it was worth the wait. Well actually I would love something new everyday but realize that is not possible.

If you just came across this author check out his other work, I have loved them all and have read most more than twice.

Well written, well plotted, interesting characters and a very satisfying ending. 5*

Thanks for a nice story, you sure are one of my fovorite authors!!

It makes for a better -- if longer -- read, IMO.

I did feel it wandered a bit here and there. The writing was very good most of the time, but there were more than a few odd errors. I know how they happen and how the writer does not see them. He sees what he wanted to write and not what he actually wrote. I feel it should have been condensed, and there was very little conflict in the last two-thirds of the story. That made the ending a bit obvious. A nice story and I'll always read anything I see by a writer with a Q in his/her penname.

Helluva great story!

Had my attention from beginning to end.

Solid 5*

Thx!!!

First off, let me say that this one is an instant classic! Now that that's out of the way, how is his reaction "unexpected", unless everyone thought he had no self-respect? It seemed that every single one of his "friends" thought he had the self-esteem of a snail, if they thought he would just put up with his cheating wife and take her back. Yeah, no. The fact that his "best friend" and business partner, and then his friend's wife, as well as most of his other so-called "friends" thought he had no self-respect either, just tells me that nobody knew him as well as they thought.

He acted as any real man would, in that situation. GTFO that marriage, get rid of the backstabbing "friends", and get on with life. I like his "revenge" on the asshole, too. As Okeer once said: "The greatest insult an enemy can suffer, is to be ignored."

5 HUGE Stars, and I'd give more if I could.

This is how a story should be done. "BRAVO, BRAVO"! (5*****)'s

Refreshing not to have a gay husband in a loving wife story. Loved it keep them coming.

Thanks, qhml1. First, this story got a good, solid 5* from me. I would give more if I could. I had all but given up on this site a week or two ago, ironically I gave it up coinciding with riding season. For some reason, I decided to open this story, I enjoyed how his bike was involved in the story. And really pleased when it was a big Star cruiser. qhml1 even got some subtle biker social dynamic correct. (American versus Metric) that often comes up. It had to come from experience. Mine is a Stratoliner, and the big pushrod Star's are in a class of their own. The story line was excellent, and some guys actually do make a clean cut from someone who cheats. Me included. The story could have been two chapters very easily, but I appreciate that it is one. The otherwise very good stories that have a month or several between chapters are hard to read, follow and appreciate sometimes. The pain of betrayal is one thing, but when trust is destroyed, there is no reason to continue. this was very skillfully illustrated. And, in some cases, you can't trust friends who are involved. I put around 10k to 15k miles on bike in a season, but between rides I'll be reading your earlier stories and looking for new ones. By the way, my life partner, who rescued me from a similar caustic relationship as this story, bought me the Stratoliner after I wore out a GoldWing to the tune of several hundred thousand miles. She would do anything for me, and I would do anything for her. Some of these storylines are pretty realistic.

The title mirrors my thoughts as I read. Wasn't a huge fan of the beginning thinking it was your typical BTB but you grabbed me in the second half. A little bit Disney but who doesn't like a Pixar movie. 5*

Loved the story, loved the characters and loved the ending, if you EVER! Thanks for sharing..

A bit long, some parts were rough but overall it's a good story.

Glad you posted the story in one installment. I hate waiting for the completion of an ongoing story.

ID GIVE IT A TEN IF I COULD.LOVE BETRALAL FORGIVENESS MORE BETRAYAL CUT HIS LOSE GOT ON WITH LIFE AND WOULD GET REwARDed WITH A GREAT LIFE .This is real life Great job we badly needed this storie a hubby with balls . Dagoatmandavid said it Cya later

Thank you for the effort.

Could not put this one down. Despite a few typos here and there, it was a really good read. Thanks.

I kind of know the feeling. Some of that is my life. Thanks for the great writing.

Great story and writing. Makes it worth trolling Loving Wives.

Best revenge is a life well lived, in fiction and in life.

Thanks for sharing on SOL.

x

Its been a little while in between stories that really make you feel. I'm glad that some of the really good authors haven't left us. Great story!!!!

The LW was excellent and the Romance good. The characters were interesting, but I wish that people wouldn't equate a working woman to a cheating woman.. A stay at home can be just as vulnerable. I am ready for a steady diet of this author.

Qhml, hats off. A really good read from start to end. Thank you.

Great story, great outcome.

But what's with that threat at the end? After what she heard him say, he's not to EVER be in the same ROOM as her? What if there's another event like they just had and she shows up?

In this genre, Loving Wives, we have a lot of authors that have good ideas but fewer that write well. You belong in both categories.

Cordially,

cladymoor

You lost me with your hypocritical main character. He gets angry at all the people hiding his wife's affair from him yet he refuses to tell the wife of the guy sleeping with his wife. I can't really believe his anger when he does the same thing to that poor women. Everyone has the right to know if their spouse is cheating on them. Gave you a 1, otherwise it would have been a 5.

Nice story Q, thanx a lot; I hope others enjoy it as much as I did.

This is a fine job of writing. You did have a few minor glitches, but the power of the words your wrote were so strong that the glitches paled in comparison.

It's been a snowy and blowing cold day here and this was a wonderful way to spend it, reading this story.

Thank you for making the effort to put out such great work. I wish I could write like this, but haven't been granted the gift. So, I just have to settle for being such a dashing hunk.

5*

Best regards,

-Pultoy

I enjoyed this story very much.

But the title is not that accurate. I don't think what he did was unexpected at all.

Loved the story. You have a nice writing style, with some very funny lines thrown in here and there. My favorite this time was Aida buying an average size white dildo and naming it Jace. Laughed my ass off over that one. Five stars.

Thanks for a great read.

Loved it! Thank you for sharing your story with us.

and always have a Plan B and lots of luck, TK U MLJ LV NV

By the time he and Becky were divorcing, I was having a strong hatin' for her. But by the time the end of the story rolled around, I couldn't have cared less about Becky. She was just old tired news.

I just loved Amanda. She reminds me of too many people I love. And at the end they met Becky? I just thought of her like an old pair of shoes that had always given me blisters so I tossed them in the waste. She was just that, waste.

Man, I love this author......I can't wait until I get to read this story again sometime in the future after some time has went past. Just wonderful!

Really loved this story. Probably one of the best I have read in a long time.

wonderful story thanks 5

The title says it all.

Very well thought out story with excellent writing.

very good story, women that really love and respect their husbands would not do things like that. You always throw out the trash, you don't bring it back in.

They worked well together. One small item, and I know you said that you just kept writing, but towards the end I thought that you wrote 'she' too many times instead of naming 'her'. I got confused about exactly who 'she' was in some places. Still a great story for 5*. Thanks

Most of the ratings are very high. However, just by reading the first page, I could tell how tough, unyealding, unforgiving, and unfriendly the author wanted the main character to be. Such lack of humanity does not appeal to me so I stopped reading.

You could feel the transition between the two parts, but it didn't matter. The redemption story, of how he pulls it back together just leaves you feeling good. Keep up the great work.

Wonderfully entertaining. Jace did come off as stiff and unyielding in the first part and it bothered me that he castigated his friends for not telling him about his wife's affair and then he turns around and doesn't expose her lover to his wife. Especially since you threw in the fact that she was serving her Country overseas. The only major irritation was the number of technical errors. Since I can barely spell my name I can't be too upset but maybe a good editor or a better proof reading? Keep on writing. I have enjoyed your efforts. Cheers!

and another one that cheered the old heart.

Thank you.

The other mans wife should know what a loser SOB that he is yes.

But, military in a war zone get killed when distracted by that kind of home troubles.

It would be a tough call to make.

Except for you, and occasionally SS06, and maybe Francis Macomber once a year. I usually read any Lit stories on the weekend but couldn't wait. What a great story. I suppose that the second half was more or less a romance story, but I liked it.

You said that you originally intended this to be a two parter, but were on a roll. I do think that if you had put the story down for a little while, then re-read it, you would have improved it a lot. Not really complaining, just an observation.

Not to bring up old topics, but what's happening with Finding an Editor?

Lost Cause? Struggling? On the way?

Anonymous Andy

But it's a stock standard qhml1 story. Majority of your stories have similar plots. Still, you are one hell of a writer, up there with the best on this site.

You really need to publish your story. So many readers would love to have a chance to take your erotic beginning, which readers expect when reading literotica, then read the second stage which includes how you lived by your principle and found obvious fault with your close friends and associates. The time period between the divorce and reclaiming your life in another state which included finding new TRUE friends and acquaintances showed a true genuine time frame which should probably be considered normal and fortunate. You phased that in perfectly. The trusting gentleman you always were brought you into a TRUSTING relationship with Amanda. Your life was always about trust and you proved that to Amanda when she was so frail and vunerable. You also showed and proved that to your new friends. The new guy coming into town and proving his principle about life and people was so real and sincere. Jace so deserved finding Amanda. He nurtured and protected her and gave her a beginning. No surprise that he trusted her. And it should not be a surprise to anyone that this evolved into a truly loving relationship. Congrats to Jace for sticking by his guns and principles in life, even though he was hurt, he came out smelling like a rose. Get this story published so more people can read it. My thanks to the author!!!

I mean REALLY good. Quite an enjoyable read. Heck, I'd rate it a 10 if I could: 5 for the Becky half and 5 for the Amanda half.

Jace made the right decision in not telling Asshole's wife that her husband was a cheating shit. It wasn't explained in this tale, but anyone who has served in a warzone can tell you that when soldiers find out their spouse is cheating on them, their chances of getting killed due to being distracted at the wrong time, or just losing the will to live in some cases, go up astronomically.

I had been a huge fan of this very talented and wonderful writer for a long period of time. There have only been one or two of his stories s which I am not crazy about but for the most part he writes spectacular stories with extremely well developed characters.

I don't know how anybody could not love the character Amanda Patterson aka Baby doll.

The one point i am a bit unclear on is whether not Becky's friends ( apart from Cindy) knew that she had stepped out on Jace when they were dating in college. It is clear that Becky Cindy and their female friends view l Jace's stubborn reaction as being the " the unexpected reaction."

We have a pretty good idea of what was going through Becky's mind.... that Jace would get over it in time and that she could still have for fun and still keep the marriage. Clearly even though she was given a second chance when they were dating... That second chance opportunity / lesson was either lost on Becky's or misinterpreted by Becky.

And since Becky knew all about Cindy 1st episode of cheating it's clear that Cindy also misinterpreted the meaning of Becky getting a second chance with Jace.

But what about Becky's other friends? Did they know that she had stepped out on Jace once before? From the way I read the story it seems to me that not all of them did and that is why they did not understand Jace's reaction which they viewed as the extreme .

Goood story! You're a good writer and put a lot of thought into it. Thanks for an enjoyable read. Cheers!

First half divorce, second half making the new life work.

I too want to thank you for making it one complete narrative. I really dislike having to start and stop over and over again to read a story.

I do have one small bone to pick however. If you are going to include wine, vineyards, and wineries in your sagas, get someone with expertise to help. Unless you are in the southern hemisphere you want the slope of a vineyard to be south and southwest facing to get the maximum amount of sun possible. You threw me when you said:

"He took over their farm, and used the north facing slopes to grow vines he had imported from the region he trained in."

And, it is virtually impossible to import rootstock from Italy.

Other than that, it was a tale told well. thank you.

In terms of plot, great ending and thank you for no RAAC with Becky. Always a treat to find a new qhml1 story on Lit. I just re-read WWA / MBA a couple of days ago, so liked the short tie point with it. Well done as usual.

I liked the idea of making this a single story and not breaking it into separate chapters. You have a wonderful ability to tell an interesting tale and I always look forward to seeing a new submission in LW from qhml1. Yes, there are some small editing mistakes that made an appearance here and there, but they aren't bad enough to distract from the enjoyment of this gem. A 5 star effort all the way!

Reminiscent of Rhenquist and Sir Thopas. My only complaint is the final scene with Becky. Too trite, "oh, I've never gotten over you." I was hoping for a second meeting as I read part 2, but was disappointed when it came. She deserved more depth and character. Still, a very compelling story.

Could have done without the nut-squeezing finale. "when we got home she grabbed my balls and squeezed. I thought I was going to pass out before she let them go"

Not cool. If he's got some sort of fetish with that, it wasn't explained in the story. If not...what is wrong with that woman? That is last-resort self defense move, not a "Hey, just want your attention, dear" move. What does she do if he forgets to take out the trash, stab him in the eye with a fork?

Thank you, 5*.

don't mess with my poopchoot!

"Such lack of humanity does not appeal to me."

It doesn't matter because nobody gives a flying fuck about your mystifying rationale. If you think having aversive reaction to being cheated on twice by your trashy wife in addition to finding out your friends facilitated her adultery is tantamount to being unreasonable, you really are pitiful subhuman.

Go back to reading stories about your wife where she's gangbanged by your father, brother, son, brother-in-law, father-in-law and the the goddamned preacher...

Should have indeed been a two-parter but when I saw the page count I actually felt I was in for a treat - and boy was I!

Apart from a few typo/grammatical errors (minor annoyances, really!) this story was a typical hallmark of how well Q can pen a story and it shows in the inventiveness of the protagonist's recovery and renaissance from the depths of ultimate treachery.

The downside to including this in one instalment is that it felt crammed with various elements shooting off into multiple directions (e.g. one and then two girls who needed "saving", the plethora of characters who needed their own exposition/page time etc.) though they were never extensive enough to be a distraction to the overall plot.

Well done, Q, your reputation is certainly set in stone in the Literotica Hall Of fame. 5*

choco turd tell. 1*

Always love your tales

Q the type-o's didnt bother me to much. Just lets me know you are human. I loved the story just wish something like that would happen to me.

You never fail to grab this reader's attention and keep me fully immersed in your tale. Excellent writing and a story good enough to make almost non exsistant typos non exsistant.

Saxon Hart

Thanks for sharing.

Awesome !

You tore our hearts out ! Then brought the joy back !

Storytelling at the the top of the charts .

I am glad you are not sticking to just Romance .

AMerryMan

This is better than 95% of the LW stories. I gave it a solid 4 and look forward to more from you. I am glad to learn that you are working with an editor. This one could have used it. A detached editor could have cut out at least a third of the story and improved it. Too much detail about irrelevant stuff, time spent over going to jail for not going to counseling when he did have counseling, people telling him he needed to hear her side when he had listened to hours of her recordings.

Jace was a stick in the mud, hardworking guy who saw everything in black and white. There is no equivalence between a girlfriend lying to her hardworking boyfriend who decides to work for weeks at at time without thinking of her. It is wrong for gf to lie about a date but not a killer. Becky took a job from a seducer and carried on with him for months. You would expect his partner's wife and long time friend to fill him in. I can see breaking up the partnership over the inability to trust his partner. The divorce was a no brainer. Becky is untrustworthy even offering to dump her current husband to get back with Jace!

I think the story would have been better if broken in to two parts. I don't understand why Jace had to offer to pay half of Amanda's pay for her to work at the bar. She had lots of support at the bar and pulled her weight. It was unclear for a while the age difference between Jace and Amanda and was borderline creepy if it was too great. I love the happy ending and appreciate that you put a lot of thought and work into the story. I look forward to more from you.

After all, was he such a catch that he pined away like a love struck 16 yr old? Was he so fucking amazing that she would go into hysterics to be with him? Was he so wonderful that even years later, she would throw herself at him? Yes?!? THEM WHY IN THE FUCK WOULD SHE CHEAT ON HIM???

I've never read a story where the main character shot so much gold. Holy fuck, he should bottle his shot and sell it on the open market because his shit doesn't stink.

A GREAT,WONDERFUL,SUPERB,BRILLIANT AND THOUGHTFUL STORY.

Please Keep Up The Good Work.

The best story I have read on Lit. for a long time.

Many Thanks

MORE PLEASE

I just could not stop reading, this story has all of your normal flair, and yet it was kind of mysterious, especially how you portrayed the characters.

A fine read through and through.

Thanks

Brilliant story,nice writing. As you say, a couple of mistakes but dont beat yourself up. i have just written 150 k novel and even though I've proof read the sucker and so have 2 other people still keep finding missing apostrophes and stuff.

People say keep writing for the enjoyment, it makes you a better writer. Judging by this one I would say you had a ball

But almost all of your stories are among the best. Love the humanity, the intelligence, and the hope.

I not sorry to say that I prefer this style of story over your last one. really good, thanx for another great story.

The title of the comment should be read as said by the Irish cohort of Wallace in Braveheart, definitely not Burns from the Simpsons. Loved the story, could have been longer. Loved the dig on the ex at the end. Light, classy, to the point and sharp.

On the v ery first page, he makes it clear how much he hates his friends for hiding the truth from him, apparently excusing him going after them and destroying their jobs later in the story.

Yet on that same first page, barely a few paragraphs later, he admits he knew about George cheating on Carrie for 8 months and was helping hide it. What the hell? Its impossible to sympathize with a douche bag hypocrite like that even if his whore wife did cheat on him.

So after he found out about his own wife cheating he finds that his betraying "friends" are cheaters as well.

Really how much does he owe these false friends ?

As the saying goes: "Champagne to my real friends, and real pain to my sham friends."

The good guy wins out. Nice story , the question what are the odds of a guy helping out a homeless women and saving her from a bad fate.then marries her and lives happily ever after? Loved the story .thank for entertaining us.

Not a lot of originality. There are many variations of the same story on this site.

It was very well written but the same old tired plot. Boy meets girl, girl cheats, boy leaves girl and finds another girl with no problem and lives happily ever after. It, like the stupid cuckold stories, are getting old.

Someone needs to breathe some new life into this genre.

Look there are 500 or more stories on this subject,how can anyone expect to find a new story with some familiarity in anyone's writing. Ghm1 is one of the best out there ,in the top 3% of all writers yet you find some individual looking for the impossible and improbable perfect new story .it just no going to happen.

Nobel prize winners BEGGING to be in an ad campaign? Your amp certainly does have an '11' on it. I could feel you trying to keep things credible...you really did. At least you smacked him around some before he launched for the stratosphere. ;)

Nice feel good story about a man who is not so 'feel good'.

I think most women would dump a guy who hung up on them half as often as this guy did. I admired it. I just didn't believe that bit.

I enjoyed the conflict side of the story more than the romance side, but I enjoyed both. Still, as mentioned, most of these gutter snipe types would have taken off with all the jewelry, sold his credit cards and his bike most likely.

In a way, this is similar to other stories I have read on Lit over the past 3 or 4 years, but it is also different. He & Amanda got custody of Celeste and Celeste DID NOT end up sharing him with her sister. I've seen too much of that.

Something attracted Jace to Amanda and he was/is the type of person who could straighten her out and did. Amanda used the lessons she learned from Jace to team up with him to rescue her sister. All good things.

To me, bringing the power of prayer into the story made it much more realistic. Jace's boss evidently recovered and it seems everybody was in the hospital chapel praying for him. Prayer works. I have proof.

I gave you 5* not only because you brought the power of prayer into your story, but also because it is very well-written, develops the plot & characters very well, and ties up loose ends.

Excellent tale. Five stars.

. . . a good love story with a happy ending. This was it. I've learned to expect really good stories from qhml1 (hope i got the right order on the letters) and he always delivers. I don't have a problem with the length. Sure it is a day's task for me to read this length but I don't have a lot of other things going so why not settle in for an entertaining story. This was it.

Good job Q!

by this story. It evoked a lot of different emotions as I read it. Kudos once more to the author.

a lot more of the nuance of the writing/plotting comes out.

First of all, north facing slopes are used for wine in the northern hemisphere, particularly in hot climes (like, say, the southern part of the US... and the google search came up with the Medoc in France for example).

Addressing who tells who in the affair, the male lead, round about counseling time, mentioned that he was thinking he'd give a pass to friends who just didn't talk about it, but not those who facilitated the adultery Those who tried to get him to reconcile were essentially treated as if they were facilitating, which perhaps they were. He also considered ratting out the male adulterer, but didn't due to, I'd guess, the lack of desire to make things even more ugly. Seriously - the male adulterer lost his job... and when his wife gets back, it would likely come out anyway.

However, I still think the "down on their luck woman as second chance woman" meme in LW is dangerous - http://www.ksl.com/?sid=19235123 for example is a story of a "down on her luck woman" trying to kill her benefactor. There are more out there if you look. Perhaps sometimes this kind of thing should be left to the experts (churches, social groups, government agencies - those without an ulterior motive)?

But! A fun and reassuring story... I'm looking forward to more from this author.

Green-something

Was why he even tried to go on knowing or doing business with ANY of the people who had helped his wife cheat.

normally I'm into more graphic stories but this one really caught my attention. thankyou so much for sharing, I loved it.

I actually bookmarked this story, it was incredible. I was genuinely suprised about the quality of the plot handling and character development.

You might say I had an unexpected reaction to this enjoyable tale.