All Comments on 'It's How They Say It'

Interesting and helpful. Thanks.

Thank you for sharing these tips with us. As with almost everything to do with writing, there are no hard and fast rules; the use of 'said', for instance, is usually a rock-solid 'should-do' and many authorities wouldn't accept any other verb in place of 'said', 'snarled', whispered', 'whined' and so on - although I have always rather like, 'Hello,' he lied !

Nice work, nicely presented - I think you will get a lot of interest from this post - and four stars from me.

LOL! Didn't mean to sound too provocative, but I wish you had included some of the real basics because

"You took them for granted" he said.

or

"You took them for granted." he said.

or

"You took them for granted." He said.

...or any other permutation you can think of. Drives me nuts.

I was tempted to put four exclamation points after my heading up there, but your wise advice kept me from doing that! This is much needed. Thanks for writing it. I do agree with Anon that some even more basic stuff would be welcome too.

He omitted the correct form of his example. Many authors do not realize that the proper form is: "You took them for granted," he said. The comma almost always goes inside the quotation marks.

Also, note the subtle differences that can be wrung:

"You," he said, "took them for granted."

"You took them," he said, "for granted."

"You," he said accusingly, "took them for granted."

"You took them," he bemoaned, "for granted."

... instead of

"David gaped. "Did you just say my mom's hot? Tell me you didn't!"", I would have offered

"David gasped. "Did you just say my mom's hot? Tell me you didn't!"".

Just the addition of the letter 's' into 'gaped' increases the intensity of the reaction.

I guess to each their own, but I can not read stories where I as the reader am thrust in to first person. I want to be a witness to the story, not be put in it! Especially if the first person is a female since I am a man.

I'm no author, nor do I claim to have great skill at composing, but I do enjoy reading a good story. Leave the "I come to your room and open the door. YOU take me in your arms and kiss me passionately!" OUT of your story telling... Please and thank you!

My good friend Anonymous does not like first person stories. I tend to agree with him much of the time. It is, however, interesting in sexual situations to read from the opposite side on occasion.

Here is one of my own stories written in what I thought was a fun twist on the first person idea, and also perhaps some interesting dialogue. What do you think of it, Anon??

http://www.literotica.com/s/mutual-orgasm-denial-ch-01

To all you "Anonymouses" out there, hold your tongue until you have walked a mile in an author's shoes. How many of us actually paid attention in high school English? How many of us got better than a "C" in Freshman English in college?

Dialog is probably the hardest part of writing a story, and it is the single biggest reason that I have a whole collection of half finished ones on my computer. Part of the difficulty is following the "rules" for construction but the biggest issue by far is style. Having someone take the time to put together a "tutorial" like this is a real help for us amateurs.

I Wasn't trying to be over critical or negative In my previous comment on reader first person stories. Just pointing out that I personally can not connect to those stories. It makes me feel pushed or forced in to the scenario rather than allowing or inviting me to be drawn in or emerced in it. I do copy writing for living by the way. I write commercials for radio daily! I'm no professional novelist or great writer, but I do understand how to sell and idea in 60 seconds. First person in that area implies endorsement. So I never write copy in first person unless I am a character in the commercial and that's very rarely the situation. I cringe every time I hear a DJ say "we have the best selection" or "come see us at" (address follows). I guess that's why when I read "You" in a story here, it immediately makes me move on to the next story. As an anonymous reader, I still have an opinion. I feel I have every right to express it here. Thanks

You may not use the exact same techniques that are discussed here, but they are excellent alternatives to "he said," "she said." There is no single best method of writing dialog. These are pretty damn good advice.

... you could always go to Literotica; Index; Volunteer Editors and ask someone to give you one-to-one help and guidance with some of your half finished stories.

I agree fully with the previous comment. There are some excellent volunteer editors and I have on occasion been helped over difficult spots by some of them. They can be great with basic grammar and conventions, and can also suggest plot development. I am not sure whether there are any who are really great dialogue coaches. If anybody has found such an editor it would be good to share.

I would like to also recommend that Literotica stories contain no more than one-hundred word paragraphs. When one paragraph fills my entire screen I seldom read it, and just skip on to the next story that hopefully will be written better.

Second, I wish writers would simply read their work before they post it, or perhaps use a spell-grammar checker.

Use an appropriate synonym of "say" to vary the construct of a sentence and avoid repetitious use of the word. The synonyms you may use depending upon context may be: allege, announce, answer, articulate, assert, aver, claim, comment, communicate, contend, convey, declaim, declare, deliver, disclose, divulge, express, give voice to, hold, impart, imply, indicate, insist, maintain, make known, mention, note, observe, opine, orate, perform, phrase, profess, pronounce, put into words, put/get across, recite, rejoin, remark, repeat, reply, respond, reveal, show, speak, state, suggest utter, verbalize, vocalize, and voice.

Sometimes, it is not necessary to use the "say" word to ascribe who is speaking the sentence in quotes combining the two sentences into one but separate them with a comma.

Example: David gaped. "Did you just say my mom's hot? Tell me you didn't!"

Alternate: David gaped, "Did you just say my mom's hot? Tell me you didn't!"

You make some good points and illustrating them with bits of dialogue definitely shows the improvement. Thanks for sharing your ideas.

I'm Not Sure if this has anything to do with this Article, but don't be afraid to use Slangs and the Like because People don't always talk like they do in the stories, but be careful not to over do it. Especially if you're going for Realism. Of Course what Character you are trying to Write has a lot to do with it as well, you wouldn't want to use that kind of style of talk for for example a Rich Wife or a 17th Century Princess or even a already existing character such as Wonder Woman or Elsa from Frozen or so on even it just would be Realistic Enough. So In Short it's okay to use Slang and what not just Be Carful How and Who Gets to Use it.

Aggrivated at the excessive use of the word 'said', she said "If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, or maybe I've said it a million times; these stories use the word 'said' way too much." That's what she said!