All Comments on 'United By a Sport Ch.01'

Love reading the build up to the next chapter.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Hot Start

Please clean the extra + and , signs from the very good text.

I lived the beginning of this story. I hope there is more to it. I loved the way you have them testing the waters and not jumping right into it. Excellent writing. Keep it up.

Waiting for next chapter.

I know that the first couple of pages was to set up the story, although it felt like it went longer than necessary. That being said, you made numerous mistakes that disrupted the flow of the story. Maybe you could ask one of the volunteer editors -- hopefully one with a good track record -- to help with the next chapter, before you submit the final draft. I compromised my vote with four stars: five stars for the story idea and slow pacing; three stars for the actual writing. I hope you will heed this advice, as it will only serve to improve your writing.

You gotta hurry up with chapter 2 I like this storie it has a lot of potential keep up the good work

A very good story keep writing

A great start to a new story - looking very promising. I was surprised to see that this is your first submission. Looking forward to more!

Great start! PLEASE continue!!!

Beautiful, story. I love to watch soccer played. I really enjoyed your story, one of the best on here.

Now, I cannot wait til tomorrow comes!!!

It's been 3 years and he's still waiting on that nut