All Comments on 'Yours Ch. 05'

Somehow, this story has everything - teenage newness, interesting characters, complex and thrilling emotions, tension, humour, surprise - and oh god, the sex! Topped off with the all important fact that it's well written. I love these people and what they get up to, and I'm so excited for the next instalment.

This was an excellent and thoroughly well written piece. I imagine it took up at least seventy pages on a word processor.

I don't know if it was because this piece took longer to produce...but the writing was much more fluid than the previous entries.

I could tell that each sentence was 'crafted'.

Here are a couple of notes that you might want to consider to further hone your writing and story telling.

1. Consider finding another aspect to anchor Stephen and Jessica together. (For example: make Jessica acknowledge Stephen's unusual brand of intelligence through an outside source like chess or the cooking you mentioned.)

2. Don't overdo this, but consider telling your readers more sensory details about their environment. (Example: What was the couch made out of? What did Jessica's dry cooking smell like?)

Mere suggestions. Thrilled to have another post from you.

Noble Truth

A highly intelligent and articulate series so far. It's very pleasing see how much of thought has been put into authoring such work, and that the characters are well-rounded and deep, with the reader being given glimpses of their respective psychologies. Coupled with how the story is highly unpredictable, yet still manages to flow, I would say you've created nothing short of a masterpiece.

Best wishes,

Ana.

You asked for feedback, so here it is-

Awesome.

That's it. One word to describe the 70 something pages you wrote for us.

I really like it when Stephen thinks or mulls over something. It's believable and intelligent but also has the hints of him being unsure about himself, and that's totally normal for a teenager.

Jessica being a pain slut and her confusions regarding it was a good point and one that you didn't ignore. The history with her parents was also a nice addition in explaining her denial. Good work!

Rose being a bit dense for a sister and taking sides with Jessica is something that you kept in mind to the very end. I liked it when you didn't change her character entirely just bcoz he's sleeping with Jessica. Applause!

The sex scenes were good and doesn't need additional commentary from my part.

Critcism:

There were a few places that made me go like - 'Oh Really?', such as the one where Stephen orders Jessica to have an orgasm. A very minor thing in your grand scheme of things but it still caught my thoughts. I don't say that it's not possible but still...I think its in the way that it's written.

Apart from a rare few typos, that must've been missed by your Wordpad or whatever it is that you use, the story is a work of art. It's the only BDSM series that I read with a religious fervor. It's the little things that catch my eye and I love the way you tailor the story like a master.

Keep writing and ignore the few trolls that will hound you for this. They're good-for-nothing nincompoops with nothing much else to do.

I honestly don't know how you can maintain this quality of story-telling over so long a period without it going off course now and then, but you have not only done, you have done it in spades.

An amazing, wonderful story, for which five stars seems a paltry reward. Thank you so much for sharing an enormous talent with us.

very good job

Interested to see where things go now that Rose knows, the explanation of BDSM conversation seemed a little awkward, otherwise I loved it.

Every single installment of this is so amazingly sexy and delicious, but this one brought up such intense feelings. The amount of emotion you can bring up to someone just reading about a relationship you've created is incredible. Can't wait for the next chapters.

I am so in love with this series. I really hope you continue with it quickly bc I'm on pins and needles to find out what happens now that rose knows!! I think that it's incredible how you can go so long without writing but suck everyone right back in like you never stopped! And it's not just a short page or two either, you actually give a substantial amount to read and get back into until the next chapter. I am in love with this story. I think Jessica and Steven are incredible characters and I cannot wait to hear more :)

I love this story. Having such a long chapter to read is such a treat. Thank you!!!

First off, I hope RL lightens up a bit for you:) I won't say more than that, since I don't know more than that and it would be vague and unhelpful.

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Some of this is going to be passing impressions, and some of this will be more substantive commentary. Sorry, but I'm not a disciplined reviewer!

Passing thoughts:

Why is Stephen surprised at Jessica's eloquence? It actually doesn't seem like something that would surprise him. Perhaps a thought-nod towards how she has in the past often been viscerally blunt and insulting to contrast his reading her more considered words.

Somehow it's appropriate that after all this time, this is the first that Stephen has really looked into Jessica beyond his own experiences.

It's fitting that he has started to realize, even in his own thoughts, how emotional things have become between them. Only so much thinking before he thinks.

The nuances of sadism are intriguing. I think perhaps, to make the fear he expresses or at least hints at with Jessica later pay off better would be some thoughts on how nervous realizing that he really *enjoys* Jessica suffering on a primal level, to an extent, how nervous that makes him. Or at least uneasy. Or perhaps he shifts away from thinking too much on it.

Rose's plan to smooth things over is both plausible and interesting to read. However, I had a difficult time-still can't, really-imagining a) that she would think that this was the sort of thing she could just sort of trick them into and b) that Stephen would not eventually mention it. To me, this is an enormous barrier between the siblings: not only did Rose not intervene when her friend was truly horrid (for eventually discovered understandable reasons), but she actually sided with her friend. Her silence helped make her own home feel unsafe and unwelcome for her brother. Unless she is simply much more willfully oblivious than has been indicated, I think there would be many signs over time and especially now that she's actively addressing things, that she is aware of this and likely very guilty and uncomfortable. I also think that even Stephen's control would fray and soon crack under this. Each transparent little ploy would be another jab, in a way-basically a means of Rose to reset the clock without ever taking any responsibility. It's not only to help her friends be friends, but an evasion of guilt. This would, I think, possibly hit Stephen harder than anything else: who else has he known longer in his life than Rose? Once they must have been closer than anyone else, it seems likely, but her choices destroyed that. I can't imagine that doing anything less than being positively agonizing.

So, my hopefully constructive criticism there would be that I like Rose's ploy, but I think the execution is implausible and felt forced.

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Ugh! Jesus, I'm not even off page 1 and look at this. LoL. Well, if you find this helpful or interesting, please let me know:) I think for my magpie brain I might need to have a less open-ended process for remarking on your very enjoyable story.

Let's see. The phone blowjob, man. Vapors!

The punishment high, intriguing, scary, exciting, nerve-wracking. Jessica's anguish, powerful. Her backstory, likewise. Stephen's realization of how much he has screwed up, meaningful (a criticism here would be that he does not appear to have mentioned this to Jessica. This seems a bit out of character for him, since he apologized a few chapters ago when he got carried away belting her, and he apologized for that-it was a very powerful moment between them, in fact).

Jessica's mentioning of how controlled Stephen is, was interesting and underlined just why she would trust him. I think it might have been intriguing if this helped to allay some of Stephen's fears of unbridled sadism as well.

Yikes! even a summation gets carried away. I'll just wrap up by saying thanks so much for sharing! It would be silly to deny I enjoyed it a great deal...and for a variety of reasons.

@ByBs - I absolutely loved this chapter. Great writing, original story and super-hot sex - a real pleasure to read :-)

My one comment is that I would have split it into two chapters - easier to read in one sitting and more frequent fixes for us addicted readers...

Thank you for not letting RL keep you from sharing your amazing talent with us :)

Brilliant, just plain brilliance!

I loved this story from the very beginning and was so glad to see a new chapter, i hope R/L eases up for you, and you continue to amaze us with your stories.

The emotions shine through, from the awkwardness of a difficult conversation about BDSM (not an easy conversation to have) to the eyes glued to the screen sex scenes, to the humour that weaves in and out of the story. You really have captured it all beautifully.

I shall look out for the next chapter with eager anticipation.

5 stars, as there is not an option for more!

Every time after my mother went shopping and bought mineral water, she said I should bring the water inside the house. It always haunted me, it annoyed me so much, it is not easy to believe, definitely not. I did not understand it myself, until I read your story.

Now I go buy water for her, as I take it for me too. No annoyance anymore at all, all I'm doing now is of my free choice. Its just wonderful, thank you for your thoughts!

For the new chapter. I've been looking forward to it. Excellent writing as ever.

Hot as always. Believable characters, and good character development help to separate this story from your usual smut fantasies.

I loved it....everything was great!!! All I want to see included is for

Him to start to fall for her too

I love how there's that pause where I keep thinking he's going to go all hearts and flowers but then NOPE I still hate you. Got me again!

I love you!

I have been waiting for this chapter it seems like forever. This is my all time, and probably only favorite series on this site. I never get tired of reading the power struggle between Jessica and Stephen, and I love reading all the punishments and games he plays with her. The fact that he can lose control and beat her so cruelly, then cradle and care for her while at the same time still hating her for what she did. i know if i had the chance to wield that much power over my enemy, i wouldn't be able to have the self control he has. The characters have developed very well over the story and I have no difficulty imagining them as real breathing people. Please keep up the amazing work you do and I hope you are able to keep writing. I will beg like Jessica if I need to ;) thank you so much for the new chapter, and I await the next addition. Peace and loves.

... And I think his conflicted emotions are exactly what make this so fascinating/arousing. While I hope they can find love together, I hope it's not TOO soon...

I've never read anything like this... I mean of course I've read other bdsm stories but non with this level of depth and emotion. I'm a girl but I actually really like how you wrote from the boys point of view, you don't see that often. My favorite part of all the chapters was the times when Jessie had an O whithout anyone touching her (the BJ and the sub-space thing). Props to you! Can't wait to read more!

I really love this whole story. I was worried you stoppend writing. Glad I was wrong. Please don't let the following criticisms take away from how much I adore your writing.

I feel like you are trying to educate the reader which feels really wierd in this story. I noticed it in the last chapter when you talked about concepts of modern-day feminism like slut shaming. In this chapter you explained the meaning of BDSM and it's associated philosophies. I understand that you are trying to play up the naive Jessica angle with the second one but it seemed kind of unnatural and she seems like someone who would know about feminism.

I'm also not complaining about that not every line is describing a sex scene. My second request is more in the realm of personal preference. I would really like to hear more about what happens outside the bedroom. I know that's an unusual request for an erotic fiction side but you seem like an author who is interested in exploring that side of the relaitionship.

To finish I want to remind you that I love your writing. At times I will check if there is a new chapter almost every day.

THIS NEEDS TO BE A DAMN BOOK!!!!

This is amazing. The quality, the characters, the style...are you a published author? Because honestly, this is far better then many of the books I've read. Fifty Shades, for example, is nowhere near this quality and it made 'Best Seller's lists.

So seriously. Are you a published author? Because I would totally buy your books, even if they weren't erotica. Finding an author who can get in peoples heads like this, can establish relationships and settings like this....well. Your one in a million.

Post soon.

This story continues to go from strength to strength. It is wonderfully written and is emotive and sensual in equal measure. I would love to see it continued and see an evolution in Steven's feelings; at the moment he's accepted he's a sadist but he still needs to come to terms with his actual love for Jessica. Would be interested in hearing Jessica trying (and failing a couple of times) to take Steven anally since I don't think they've done that yet. I'd steer away from the temptation to add any new potential sexual partners since the story has a real strength focussing on just the two of them. Keep it up!

This is my favorite story ever. Though it scares the hell out of me, I want to BE Jessica. Please keep writing.

THIS. THIS is an amazing story! This is the first story that has had me itching to read the next chapter so bad that I obsessively check for it on this site. This is what should be a multi million best selling book. You are amazing, please NEVER stop writing. The story has such depth and is beautifully written so that the reader feels what's the character feels. I feel conflicted, guilty, sadistic, masochistic, and turned on every time I finish a chapter. I'm right there with the characters and it's so vivid in my mind. That's a truly successful story; forcing your readers to immerse themselves into the world you've created. Bravo, a thousand times bravo!

When will Steve realize he loves Jessica? And when will he be able to say so? He has more technical knowledge about D/s, but he seems less emotionally self-aware than Jessica.

The strength of the story is being rooted in realism. They struggle to have a healthy relationship, just like all of us do, regardless of the nature of our sexual relationships.

I think this story is an essay on Bdsm. Although I've never read 50 shades I think this could be the male equivalent (if you make his size slightly more realistic lol) I actually just zoomed through the sex scenes this time because I was more interested in the story. Now for a question. Is that the end?

never cease to amaze me

This story is amazing please make more i wanna know if Steven and Jessica do become together and he has a revaluation of loving her, and them both exploring their limits together.

I'm purely addicted to this series and I'm craving more of this duo, please make more it's pulls on my heart strings and makes me excited just like Jessica is now i've become in love with Steven as well.

Loved the series, I really loved the way Jessica and Steven gradually figured out their natures. I'm hoping to read something similar about Rose (a dom?) in the future.

The story so far has been pretty awesome, and I'm eagerly anticipating more. I discovered it around new years this year, and read all 4 chapters at the time in about a day. What with the extended gap between chapters 4 and 5, I figured the series was over, and I'm very glad to see it's still going.

A few minor criticisms, there was one capitalized I, and you spelled his name Steven in previous chapters, but Jessica referred to him as "Stephen" when on the phone with Rose.

Things I'd like to see in the future, go for some exhibitionist sex, or maybe a bit of anal if you think it'll work well in the story. I'd love to see more of Steven and Jessica figuring each other out, and figuring themselves out, the depth of character really adds a lot to the story. The main thing I'd like to see more of is bondage. I know domination doesn't always include bondage, but the two go together like Christmas and eggnog, and you did set up a Checkovs gun scenario with Stevens drunken purchases. Also, on that note of his purchases, sex toys! Could be a lot of fun to be had there, maybe he bought a remote control vibrator, could make for some fun in public (assuming he ever gets out of his own head).

All in all, I'll keep reading this series as long as you keep writing it, and I've loved every second so far. Keep up the good work, and post faster damnit. I need my fix man.

Just thought I'd leave a quick comment. I read this story front to back for the first 4 chapters and fell in love. I waited ages for chapter five and when I saw it was up I grinned from ear to ear. I'm in love with the whole concept. With Stephan and Jessica. I literally feel a pang of sadness when the chapters end.

Please add more soon because I literally can't wait :)

It was well worth the wait the entire series is mind blowing and simply speaking fuckin great!!!! Keep this up mate :D

Is amazing.

Honestly I went in looking for a random story that tuned me on, instead I found story that turned me on immensely while also drawing me to read more.

I can't wait for the next continuation in the series.

As a lifetime Dom I really appreciate your story as I became a Dom at birth before there was actually a name for it. My Father also was a Dom but we were both called abusive men because there hadn't been a name for what we were at the time. Now with the age of the computers and the internet this has all changed. Maybe if a story like this had been written back in the day my 1st marriage of 33 years could have been saved. My former wife and I both wondered why I did the things that I did. Then I met my present wife who was actually on a lifestyle web site and we have been happily married for 14 years thanks for your story. As for my Father he got lucky the 1st time my Mother was submissive and they were married for 62 years until their death. Some will say what has this to do with this story? It has much to do with it these two people are understanding why they are like they are. Keep writing very good.

I can't wait to read the rest! Your writing is amazing. I love the character depth as well as the writing of the super sexy scenes. Each sex scene is different but consistently great. One comment about this chapter, on page 3 I think Jessica's panties change from yellow to pale blue and back to yellow. Just a little hiccup I noticed. Anyway, I'm so excited for the next installment! I just started reading these a few days ago so I haven't had to wait for a chapter until now! Keep up the good work!

So I just want to thank you for the descriptive blow jobs. The first time I went down on my guy after reading this story, he asked if I'd been practicing! Ha! I made a joke about a cucumber, which was only funny to myself, because he has no idea I read this kind of thing. So thanks for teaching me a better technique!

great story as always. i love reading this series, can't wait to read what steven and jessica do further. keep up the good work.

This is the beat SEIRES on this site, keep it up.

If possible introduce new BDSM stuff for them to do.

This part was the best in terms of story and character development.

When do you think you'll be submitting more...?

I never leave comments on stories but I just had to tell you how amazing of a writer you are. I don't think I have ever loved a story so much, it turns me on and then at other points almost has me in tears, (I might have teared up when Jessica was talking about her parents). You draw me in and make it impossible for me to stop reading, (Its about 3:45 am right now and I am still awake because as soon as I saw that you added a chapter I knew i couldn't sleep until i read it). Thank you so much for this fantastic story and I can't wait to see what happens next.

The only thing I had a hard time was the level of maturity and self awareness of Steven. Very uncommon. But everything else, just excellent!

The romantic in me would have liked to see Steven whisper at least a few tender words, but he hadn't connected to that level of awareness yet. He realized he would be hurt if Jessica turned him away, but didn't connect that having feeling for her of the tender sort. I would have liked to see him grapple feeling tenderness while also remaining a dominant sadist.

Very impressive story!

Ama-FUCKING-zing story!!!... I gave it a 5. If there was an way I could score it 10 I would... Or 100 ;)

Be waiting for the next ones...

I wish I was worse at reading so I could drag amazing stories like this as long as possible. This series is on of my favorites I've read yet, thank you!

When you hadnt posted in awhile my first thought was ...you were picked up by a publisher. Your story is that good! Its more than a turn on, its a genuinely tender love story. I too enjoyed the indepth on the blowjobs. After reading I employed some of the techniques with great results. Keep up the good work :)

This, I don't know, I'm out of words. It's the best story of getting into bdsm, I'm stunned. The scenes are awesome, turn on, and painful. I can't believe that some can make a better scene than this. Its more thank awesome.

So I read all of yours chapters till now and this one inspired me so I made a cover for you story :D

http://postimg.org/image/g49vth03h/

Continue writing please because guess whose awesome at it? Yep, you. Just one itsy bitsy tiny request, make Jessica & Steven a thing. I can really relate to this story because well... to be honest here, I have more than walked in Jessica's shoes, and as we all know fiction is made to bring a sense of peace that nonfiction could never bestow. (Or perhaps it will. I don't know. My situation is always ever changing in status and is now becoming more of relationship without a tittle than anything else. Although it is my greatest hope that it ends with a walk down the aisle and a pronunciation of a new last name). Anyways...good work. If I had a gold star you would get one.

Very, very good story! Well written and sucks the reader in. I love the turmoil that the two main characters are experiencing and am looking forward to where they may be headed.

bdsm , coming of age , first time , erotic couplings , romance.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

The image of him teaching Jessica to swim struck me very hard. He and Jessica strike me as in denial over what this is to both of them, as if they both know, and they both won't say, even to themselves.

That's as powerful a moment as I can recall in any erotic text I can recall reading.

I don't want this resolved. It's as erotic a dynamic as this sadist could hope to achieve. But I'm very much desiring the source of this anger between them. Jessica's family situation (I suspect) plays a part. But it's looking like something triggered their enmity. I want to see it.

And the fact that I want that, it should tell you how involved I became in the story. That is a very, very good thing.

You are talented!!! A Lot of people are reading this and we're all waiting for the next chapter. Dont be too long now :)

I have literally read this chapter at least 7 times. I never gets old. I hope Steven and Jessica's relationship develops into something more concrete than what it is now. I cant wait for the next chapter I check every week.

This is probably my favorite story on the entire site. I look forward to reading it many times in the future and reading your other stuff. It would also be nice to see what else Steven and Jessica get up to, but I can certainly live with this.

I have to agree with the last comment posted on your feedback, this is also my favorite story on this site. It's one of the few that I ever read over again. I'm hoping you'll be adding more chapters to the story, I really enjoy your writing! It's the perfect mix of not too sappy and not too trashy or hardcore. Thanks so much for all your time and effort, it's much appreciated!!

I love this story. I've been checking for the next chapter every week since the last one came out

I am absolutely in love with this chapter. From being wet, to my heart feeling what jessica feels. It is amazing ! I can't wait for the next chapter !!

I've just been informed by an anonymous reader that my work has been reproduced for profit without my permission. The e-book "Kinky Slavery" by Sophie Thompson seems to be a complete copy of my series "Yours", which so far I've only posted on this site.

I've been unable to contact the author, but please do not support the theft of my work by buying this book, and I ask each of you to contact Amazon to inform them of this, if possible.

Also Chapter 6 is still in progress, shouldn't be too much longer. Once again, thanks for being so patient.

-BB

My sympathies! I'll complain for you, but from my experience with Amazon, the copyright holder needs to complain for Amazon to take it down.

Can hardly wait! Please hurry up!!!

I'm dying. ever since i read your update about the new chapter being up soon, i check everyday. but i was just wondering when approximately it would be up.

I may be the only one but I would love to see the story intersect with the incest category. Rose is the perfect character for me. That would top this off. Keep up the good work !

I love this series! I really wish somebody would do it to me!

I love this series. Ur writing puts me right there like I'm being dominated. Can't wait for chapter 6

This was incredibly good, thank you xxx

I really love the content and writing style and how you have writen the characters. We still no relatively little about them but they are well rounded and have developed personalities. So yeah, keep writing please!

You have so much talent and this story has so much more potential! I'm hoping to see another installment of this.

Could you give us an idea of when the next chapter will be up? That way I won't be compulsively checking every day if there's been an update

I understand RL can be a bitch but just giving us an idea would go a long way in settling us down and stopping us from bugging you for an update.

10th October to 22nd November is a loong time to wait.

I know this sounds a lot like haranguing and I genuinely don't mean to harass you.

This series is awesome i can't wait for next chapter

Please don't make it six

So pleased to find this had been continued. It definitely felt like a treat to discover more of this story. Also it hit every note perfectly. Rose finding out, their conversation about BDSM, Steven struggling with the ongoing love/hate dynamic. I couldn't have asked for more. Except, of course, I will. I am so pleased that you will give warning if you intend to end the story and will patiently but expectantly await the next installment. Still hoping that there will ultimately be a happy ending where Steven allows his feelings of love to surpass the pain of the past. However, I am also hoping that they will, at some point, discuss her terrible treatment of him. What motivated her and how he felt about it. I was impressed and intrigued by his confession of sadism and the emotions it evoked for him when Jessica accepted him. Really there is only good here and it seems to just keep getting better. Bravo.

Beautifully written, one of the best stories I have read here. The journey of Steven and Jessica has captured me completely. I hope to see Steven come to realize love can be an intrical part of BDSM. Cant wait for your next post.

it's been quite a while. :(

Take your time, it's your story after all. And write what you want, rather give into any of the suggestions of other commenters. That is, unless you actually like them.

Best story on this site. I hope it never ends.

Soooo hot....

thank you....

Glad to see your stolen work was taken down. I hope we get to see the next installment of this series soon.

Dude, wassup? why r u not updating? six months is a good enough time. Or is the last chapter?

Love this story! Freaking LOVE IT!!! Exactly everything I want in a BDSM fiction!! Please update soon!! :)

Last year at this same time I can remember checking regularly for an update and then a few months down the road I got busy lost hope and figured it would never be continued. Much to my delight I found it had been continued about a month ago. I thought to myself "this time you can let it go and be patient". Yet I find myself regularly checking and as I am due to give birth soon, actually worrying I will forget and not read the next installment until months after its release. Which IS actually a blessing in disguise as it means I will have less time to wait for the next installment.

Thanks for writing a story so lovely that it puts me through such hell, ha!

We are all waiting for your next installment thank you for your writing it has ruined porn for me

This is the best series I have read till date.. The plot is so erotic and captivating..

Please provide an update soon.. Eagerly waiting!!!!!!!!!!

I hope real life isn't being too much of a bitch. :)

take your time with stuff.

The read was an interesting one. I just stumbled on to the Genre, but from what I've read it was pretty f***ing great. prose and everyhing was great and it pretty much felt like a great read. loved how you paced the stuff. Hope For a new chapter

Chapter 6 is on it's way, and the copy of my work from Amazon has been removed. Thank you to everyone who left a comment or reported it. I'm aware there are some other copies of my work floating around, but as long as no one's trying to make money from them then I don't consider it urgent.

Let me know what you think of the new chapter.

-BB

Thank you this is really something just a big thanks form Germany

Love this chapter. Love the character depth. Love the explanation of consensual nature of this BDSM relationship. This story is fantastic.

if she likes the abuse so be it. gave it a 5 to offset your dumbass comments

I'm left wondering why Steven isn't more angry with Rose, she was his sister, but betrayed him by never standing up for him and choosing Jessica over her own brother, thereby sabotaging their relationship.

When they had their conversation with her wish for him and Jessica to be friends, he really should have taken her to task for helping turn them into little more than strangers, and how she continually chose Jessica over him the last few years.

He knew she felt guilty, and should have attacked the reasons for that guilt in my opinion.

The realization in the beginning is fairly interesting, Rose is also controlling, like Steven, and I think in spite of that, or maybe because of that, they are both a bit conflict shy (trying to avoid situations they can't control perhaps?)

At this point I blame Rose and both sets of parents more than Jessica (a hurt and broken girl lashing out on an undeserving target) for making Steven's life hell.

Laughed my ass off at page 5. Him dribbling on about inequality

And sadly there are those that follow this fetish who believe it too. Doms have no power without consent. Basically, they (like every other person in a relationship) only do what the other person says /wants. Without consent, they would spend lots of years in jail with the other sadists in our society.

So please stop kidding yourselves. 'Doms' aren't doms. They are actors in a play, with egos too big to admit that that is all they are. So again, i laugh my ass off whenever a dom goes on about inequality. Doms are needy fetishists and that's all they are. Lol.

I really got caught up in the characters this time. layers to make it believable and intellectually interesting, threats to make it emotionally interesting. off the top of my head I cant think of a book that did this better. (although normally I read and remember the plot / idea driven stuff with just enough character to fill in the blanks)

Thinking of how they could convince the other of what they want and get a happily ever after ending vs a painful breakup. Guessing and double guessing when Jessica is feeling submissive vs faking it to manipulate him. Emphathising with how they have conflicting desires (part of her likes it, part of her hates herself for it). I could always come up with a half dozen different explainations of why they acted / felt how they did, although looking at other comments that might just be my inexperience with people.

I think it was because of a good balance between what you hinted at, what you said and what you didn't say, but I wish I better understood how you did it. like he says he didn't want his sister to know because he's private (weak IMO, the only reason given for him being private is because he had no one to talk to), but it is also be because he's afraid it will end up hurting his relationship with Rose (like if she finds out about his sadism or gets jealous that he's taking away her friend) or just that he's getting good sex and is afraid change might end it (like if Rose forces them into a dump or date decision)

the sex was getting repetative IMO, so looking forward to the new toys, more obvious discussion on how their sexual limits and preferences are evolving and more distinction between good / great sex.

This is, astonishingly, one of the best descriptions of a BDSM lifestyle I have ever read. You do not craft stereotypical characters, these ones are fragile, and make mistakes, and have strange needs they do not fully understand, like in real life.

I read some foolish comment about this being a story about an abuser, that person does not understand consent, an abuser violates consent, your "Sir Steven" ( nice reference BTW) operates entirely within the realm of consent, which makes it a relationship.

The importance of free will in the act of submission is incredibly powerful for the Dominant. I have never felt a rush like it in anything else except for a successful life or death confrontation, and the BDSM encounter also has orgasms, and a significantly lower chance of permanent damage.

As a Dominant, you must take such tremendous care not to harm your partner, hurting them is expected, and anticipated, but not harm. Many do not grasp this, and you incorporate it into your stories very seamlessly

Very well done

Wish you would come back to this story for more chapters

I havent read many eroticas mainly because most of them don't have the fair balance between sex and story which often makes me abandon reading them.. but I felt in this series.. The sex is the story and its wonderfully progressed, the development of the characters can be seen during sex, the characters feel alive, evolving, keeping in mind their histories and don't deviate..

But the most important thing that struck me was how much this series lack inconsistencies, like the main characters are extremely articulated and they act so dynamically but not illogically.. It has to be a personal experience for the author because how comprehensively he portrays the mindset of both sexes cant be just imagination.. Kudos

Fuck, i love it!

Lots of great stuff, but it really annoys me that he never really confronts his sister about hiw she chose, and keep choosing her friend over him.

He should be a bit more domme on the sibling relationship and not let his sister gloss over how terrible Jessica treated him for years.

Wow....this was fucking amazing! Just the story I was looking for.