by Oldbear63
Nicely told story, with a kick (or a rock) in the tail.
A different looser structure. I believe it works and is good to see you expanding your technique. I wonder if anyone will raise the empty issue of what qualifies as poetry. I am very happy with this.
It does not matter how big or small our property is or where we live – there is always a question about neighbours.
It speaks on so many ways about how relationships change. Very nice work here OldBear!
raise the empty issue of what qualifies as poetry, and while I'm at it raise the issue of
of What is Property? blah, blah....
What is of interest here (to me) is the critical use of what would be perceived as an adjective i.e. "left", you have two other options "right" or none. Both right and left have a political charge, right also infers correct, suppose it would have been "right" - vast meaning change, suppose no charge, just "foot"....
Why is this of interest? At least twice, I put forth the proposition that this shit (adjectives) are important, and you are an experienced writer, so it vindicates...gran prick du mal, me.
Good choice, (I think) 5ed
Anger .........
& anger opens the Doors of ..........Hell ?!?
5-ed [ beautiful Conflict Poetry ]
Treading in similar territory to GM, which is a big compliment, the structure helps the content as I can Cleary distinguish who is talking without all the "he said" etc that prose uses,
The switch. Up of duality in humanity, then add 1201s thoughts and you have a great poem.
Maybe switch out
Thinking hard to stop the repeat of thinking so close together?
Not really a quibble just an errant thought.