by alex_lover
He's turned into such a lovable shit. He'd better get his daughter back too! Thanks!
I don't know who he is but you need to stop thanking him for his editing. The first page alone is full of spelling mistakes and misused words. And where in the last 15 years has anyone in the US held a meeting in which they viewed people thru a haze of cigarette smoke?
However nice use of the ex.
We understand he is bitter and turned to booze and self pity but you suggest that he still does it? Excuse me, he is supposedly successful now and, I think, most people would have toned down the drinking, maybe not the self pity but definitely the booze, especially when he is enjoying what success and money is bringing him!
Bitter, come on, it may still be there but toned down a bit and what really got me...when he thought angrily about his assistant commenting on the woman wanting help with her story. Good grief, a successful, even angry man, would have an assistant that he had some respect for and any good assistant wouldn't take this crap from anyone! Besides, she was just commenting on the poor woman's attire to which, he also thought so...cut the crap - you're trying too hard to remind us that he is vengeful and hard - we get it so, stop with the excess - oh, just like my comments!!!
Okay, he's ruthless, we get it and we're pretty sure you're going to soften him up with the raggedy woman trying to get his help. Gee, nice guy after all...give us a break!
Your story is good, just excessive and at times too damn repetitive...we get it - get to the conclusion!
I really don't like any of your characters. It makes for hard reading with no one to relate to.
Anger and animosity make great motivators. Loving this story so far.
Alright the asshole got his revenge. If Susan's husband doesn't come and blow away Brad's balls with a shotgun then I've wasted my time reading this tale. We'll see.
I'll rate it at the end
Paybck part of this chapter is going great! But Revenge part is pretty damm WEAK! BRAD should be making HAROLD suck him off a BETTER REVENGE part???Can't wait for your next chapter? Please make it sooner rather than latter!!! THNK'S
You had my interest up until this chapter. It seemed like a bunch of improbable ideas tossed into a blender.
Also, unless they do things very differently in the UK, you really need to bone up on television production. What is this guy?... a producer, agent, script editor? If you're not willing to do the research then write what you know and not what you imagine.
Anyway, a highly disappointing chapter.
But it isn't mine. I am now skimming the first page and the ending. There seem to be more words than activity. The guy is consumed with the need for revenge. You have told us that many, many times. He's the worst character in the story. I'm going to cheer for the ex-wife. At least she has nice tits.
Man what a depressing view of the world! For those who are cheaters, and those that have been cheated, let it be known that there are plenty of honorable people out there. Although none of them are represented here!
"Ralph Jordon joined in with his golden tooth sharky smile". And on and on it goes from bad to worse. Please, no more.
What a lot of fantasy revenge all made up by this author, I doubt in the real world this plot would ever happen.now we have a women come into his office who seems to take away his hate. So I Quess she will be in the next chapter. This story seems absurd. He still hasn't connected with his daughter. So he will bring down the husband and ex wife, what the point . It should have been a simpler story that was more believable.
The other commenters are entitles to their opinion. As for mine I can see how he became this way & certainly understand the desire for revenge on his end. While he has been like a grenade to some degree he has been focused on two people. He reminds me of some words Jon Stewart of the Daily Show said some years ago: "As any mad scientist will tell you, there comes a point where the elation of the monster you've created KINDA dies down... usually when the creature in question starts FUCKING UP YOUR HOME."
I'm digging Alices character, I just hope she don't wind up like Brenda did.
He's making it all about sex. Its not bout sex - I don't think. What they did to him was that his wife betrayed him and Harold stole from him. When he had a chance to destroy them financially - that was a form of revenge. But fucking the ex-wife (who has already established she's a whore in the way she traded up) doesn't do it for me. The fact that Harold had to see it is besides the point. How does any of this help Brad. No, the revenge needs to be in totally destroying them, impoverishing them, maybe getting them arrested, and then immediately getting custody of the daughter. This is an entertaining story, but the revenge doesn't do it for me.
The long term goal of Brad's partners is for Witherspoon to fail. Brad providing Witherspoon with funds just before his partners throw a monkey wrench into his business turns the path to Witherspoon's ultitmate failure into a roller coaster ride. The sexual manipulation is just icing on the cake.
Apparel is like clothing, s does not show plurality.
Fuck, you NEED a new editor and to learn the English language yourself! THROUGH, not THRU. TONIGHT, not TONITE, lots of grammar and spelling errors. "replied back Brad", there is no BACK needed every time someone speaks, all you need is REPLIED BRAD or whoever the fuck is speaking. You and your editor need to go back to school, I'm done with this long winded story.
A little long winded but it's your story. Thanks for for sharing.
If I were him, I wouldn't take the spoiled brat back. Let her stay with her mom's parents or something. Kids remember a lot more than people think. How come she doesn't remember her real dad loved her? No, he should ruin them, then make Alice's daughter his and treat her like his own child. Let his previous whore's child continue in her mother's footsteps.
...only because I'm invested at this point. I like little about the story, the protagonist is as hateful as the antagonists.
What a hateful, smarmy bastard. The man he was is dead with his quest for success and revenge. No one to like who shows their face for more than two seconds. A hateful tale.
I'll skim the next chapter because I'm hoping for redemption, and not just a new infatuation with Alice and her kid. Can't do much more than skim because of the horrid languicide going on here. No one can catch all the errors but when there's more than ten per page (a body is taut, not taunt. Taunt is what you are doing to the husband) it is time to get an editor that graduated high school . . .
Hopefully Brad rediscovers himself, and becomes a good man with success. Just live a happy life. harold's business is already shoddy. Just cut contact with the ex and move on. Don't become the people you hate. I wouldn't take back the daughter either. She can't be trusted. If money can buy love, then he is better off without his daughter. Just show the world that your a better man and the ex was a fool. Bettering yourself and showing everyone else what a stupid person the ex was to give you up. That is revenge enough. By proving yourself a better man, people will look at Harold in comparison and wonder what the ex saw in him.
fire has no control of its path. TK U MLJ LV NV
So the rumor is true. The darkside does have....... Cookies. LAWL
Alex, the word is STATUE. Stature is another word for law or regulation. Also, I think it'd time to conclude this novel. It's getting boring.
Certainly one of the strangest cases of revenge. I get the feeling that there will be a twist at the end. Perhaps the hubby of Susan will get revenge against him.
The sense of entitlement of the husband is outrageous. The only thing he is entitled to is what the wife gives him, and if she wish to withdraw her favor from him then that is her right. He has the same rights as hers. If he didn't like her cheating then he has the right to separate from her. That's all. There is no cause for revenge. Taking revenge on the wife leaving is like taking revenge on the government for losing social assistance. The husband didn't lose anything, only what was GIVEN to him. The premise is stupid. 1 star.
or worse than Harold.
no one here to like,
but many who are really nasty people.
are too piddling for the lifestyles being described.
That was the wordiest fuck I've ever read. Just a suggestion, lose all the 10 letter words while your describing a four letter event. It felt like it took him an hour to come the first time but only seconds when she sucked him off just a few seconds later. It got so wordy it lost its impact.
comment not necessary
where did the worthy writers go.
this one isn't pimple on a good writers ass
another 1 star rating for this final chapter. can't stad anymore drivel from u.
*
Brad's character is a screaming pervert with self-esteem issues.
In the beginning He is showing great love for daughter...but later
He is not even concerned ???? Where are His sentiments gone?
Mind is running only at one Hole....which only money can buy...no
heart beats,no love,no faith,no trust only thoughts of fucking married
women. He is no where behind Harold who stole his wife...but is ahead
of him taking advantage...
Brad may think he had got his revenge but the fact remains that he still had to fork out money to his nemesis!
I don't understand the comments of the naysayers! This section is the most important part of this series. He caught Harold fucking his wife in front of him and slugged him for it. Now he is fucking Harold's wife in front of Harold AND there is nothing that Harold can do about it, lol. You naysayers are idiots. As for giving him the money, that is part of the plan! These naysayers appear to have IQs way below average (100)!
that book may fall on him from a height. TK U MLJ LV NV
All along I've thought, "No way is this the same author of 'Revelations,' it's not possible!"
I still don't.
But that final passage compensates.
This is dark and disgusting as well as irresistible!
Good writing!
Seems nobody saw he was gay. That part wasn't discussed Guys don't put their dicks into other guys period unless he's not straight. There's nothing wrong about being gay, or Bi that's his business but, doing that makes him not the macho super dude the writing has us believe. Maybe it would have read better if he had a openly gay guy with a big dick fuck Harolds ass.
No matter HOW this story plays out, this is bar NONE the best revenge by an ex I've ever read on this site.
She leaves him for a "Rich on paper prick", he hits bitten, gets a big break, ends up
Richer than ex's new stud.
So
He makes the ex's husband screw in front of her, then not only fucked the wife of the guy who stole her, basically pays him for a very expensive blow job from the ex while he watches .
BRILLIANT!!!!
Anonymous 02/06/17 said,"Seems nobody saw he was gay. That part wasn't discussed Guys don't put their dicks into other guys period unless he's not straight."
It wasn't something he did because it was gay. It was something he did because it made him feel powerful. Dude, he humiliated another man and turned him into a woman with that act. It wasn't gayness that turned him on. It was power. Just like rapists don't get their charge from the sex but from their power over someone. This guy was getting a charge the same way. Plus it was revenge too.
You wrote something like ''indicated her bra CUP size was 36...''
Bra CUP size is indicated by capital letters not numbers as in A B C D DD DDD E.....
The number used in bra sizes indicates the female's torso measurement in inches-USA countries on metric system use centimeter equivalents if memory serves me well
The torso is measured immediately under breasts. 36 in your sentence. Another measurement is made across fullest part of breasts. 42 for example
Then the following calculation takes place
42 - 36 = 6. That difference -6- is looked up on chart to determine CUP SIZE. My recollection could be faulty but a difference between 5 - 7 indicates C cup.
Funny how few males seem to know this fact thinking the number indicates breast size when it has nothing to do with breast size.
One reads and hears guys getting all worked up about a 44 inch bust. Female could have A cup sized breasts-44A indicates very large female with very small breasts.
Before she went on pill and went from A to C my college girlfriend measurements were 36-20-34. When on her back she was completely flat-absolutely nothing to cup or hold in hand. Feeling her up consisted of slidding nipple between my third and fourth fingers. Admittedly her nipples stuck up more than an inch and were three-quarters of an inch wide-YUMMY
BUT THE BIRTH CONTROL PILL C CUPS WITH THE ADDED FACTOR OF HER BIKINI TOP TANLINES-AND OH WHAT A PERFECT TAN....
THEN THEY WERE SCRUMPTIOUS BEYOND WORDS.
Problem for her when she got off pill her breasts were disastrous looking. Looking like a golf ball hanging in a stretched out baby sock
And she was only 19
Couldn't read the whole thing, had to skip through it! You couldn't have written a bigger ass-wipe!
He has them where he wants them. A lot of greedy, immoral people getting what they deserve.
What a bunch of low life characters, willing to do anything for money - and revenge. The only likeable character so far, has been Brenda/Rosy and she had just a cameo.Well, on to the next chapter.
This work's smarmy feel and the life-like, low-life characters evoke the work of author, Harold Robbins!