All Comments on 'A New Beginning Ch. 01'

by Shysub412

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  • 31 Comments
MasterfuljimMasterfuljimover 9 years ago
Well shysub

I have often seen your name in the comments board and it will be a pleasure to return the complement, and hopefully be the one to give you your virgin crit.

You say....Shall I continue, or just go back to being a reader?

And I will say....if you go back to just reading I shall personally paddle your backside until you kneel back in front of your old PC and type the next chapter..

That was just lovely. Detail just right, pace perfect and all mixed in with just that nice touch of humour.

That really was a delight to read.

I loved it.

So....decision time for you...do you quickly get typing while you can still sit, or do you still end up typing, but with a sore arse ??

Loved it.

ham_sandwichham_sandwichover 9 years ago
More, please

I believe the best stories begin slowly and build over time. I am looking forward to discovering where yours will go.

mel_pomenemel_pomeneover 9 years ago
I enjoyed it enormously, Shysub412!

To be honest, I have seen your comments so often here that I just assumed you were already a writer. If this is an example of what you can do, then please continue writing - and reading, of course.

This was an excellent introduction to a story I am sure will be very popular with everyone who reads it,

Welcome, new author! Thank you and please have five big shiny stars from me.

mel_pomene

suebramleysuebramleyover 9 years ago
Please continue

I like the fact that you are providing background to the story as well as giving us the story too. It is a nice way of opening a story. There may be some who will say you are not going down the right road but you are for me. Keep it up and look forward to the next instalment.

Shysub412Shysub412over 9 years agoAuthor
Thank you

@MJ, thank you, your comment made me smile and have an internal debate with myself. Write comfortably or not..hmmmmmm

@hamsandwich, thank you, I was worried it may be too slow but I wanted it to reflect the emotions felt and the time it takes for a Master and sub to bond.

Chapter 2 will move slightly quicker, well once I start it, it will!

@Mel, thank you so much, I always read your comments on other stories and it was a delight to see you had read my story.

@sue, thank you, i wanted to weave the backstory through the story and I'm glad you thought it worked. Thanks for reading and commenting, i appreciate the feedback.

bearsladybearsladyover 9 years ago

What a nice way to start my b-day morning. The beginning of a promising story. From me? Definitely continue, checked all my 'must have' boxes.

emeraldknight74emeraldknight74over 9 years ago
Great start

Please continue. There may be those who complain "too slow" or "too soft". Ignore them. The story is yours (and very good) and how "hard" or "soft" is up to you. I like the inclusion of backstory and emotions. These elements make it easier to suspend oneself in the story and feel not just read.

YourcumkittenYourcumkittenover 9 years ago
huggggggggs

Please continue, i loved it , it was so easy to place myself in your position!

huggggggggs and thank you

suzanne

Dutchgirl82Dutchgirl82over 9 years ago
I like it too!

Lovely start. I love the feel of reality in your story, as opposed to a fantasy in which things like time for mourning and the need to see if a connection that's felt is really a connection to build on. I love to promise of this start and am looking forward to see what will happen.

jhollanderjhollanderover 9 years ago
Welcome!

This very promising first chapter has truly drawn me in! At the start of my first chapter I wrote very similar words, being a long time reader and a first time author. I hope your journey into writing is as exciting and fulfilling as it has been for me!

Addicted2WritingAddicted2Writingover 9 years ago
I agree with the others

Yes, please continue! Very good, solid start!

dinkus36dinkus36over 9 years ago

stories like this that just grab you and draw you in are rather hard to find....

please continue because you really have some talent.

small_town_girlsmall_town_girlover 9 years ago
hey there @shysub! :-)

A beautiful first chapter which already got me intrigued as to what's gonna happen next. Wonderful to have you join the writers' ranks, and I'll be eagerly waiting the continuation of this story!

Also i wanted to send a PM but they seem to be turned off - please ping me at stg (dot) lit (at) gmail.com if you're curious... :-D

xoxo

North200North200over 9 years ago
One vote for continue...

You've got a distinct voice and a particular way of expressing things. I'm interested to see what the next morning brings. Maybe the first scene I've read that took place in a bdsm club that didn't result in someone getting naked and/or spanked. I'd love to read more from you!

Irishlass1662Irishlass1662over 9 years ago
Why stop???

Your have a talent - share it!!!!

Shysub412Shysub412over 9 years agoAuthor
Thank you all

@bearslady, Happy Birthday!!! I hope it was a good one, thank you for taking the time to comment, chapter 2 will be started tomorrow.

@emeraldknight, thank you, I wanted the story to show the love and affections that every relationship requires to be successful, and some things can't be rushed!!

@dinkus, Cheers, your comment was greatly appreciated, I'm glad you enjoyed!!

@North200, thank you, but you may be pleased to know that Alannah does lose her clothes in the next chapter, and may even get spanked lol

@dutchgirl, thank you, i hope to get chapter 2 written and posted very soon, i appreciate your comment very much. I've smiled so much today.

@justahole, thank you, i was so nervous about taking the plunge and submitting a story but comments from everyone have made my day.

@yourcumkitten, thank you, i like stories that allow me to put myself in a characters place, your comment that you could do that in my story brought a huge smile to my face.

@A2W, thank you, chapter 2 is floating about in my mind and if after some pleading my laptop switches on tomorrow, I'm going to crack on with it.

@STG, Thank you, your comment was valued highly, and I've emailed you, curiosity gets the better if me every time lol!!

@irishlass, how can i refuse a fellow countrywoman, chapter 2 in the works!! Thank you for your comment, i really am smiling so much!!

Bigg_MikeBigg_Mikeover 9 years ago
Please, do continue

You write very well, and your story is a pleasure to read. I am intrigued and would definitely like to see where this leads.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Please continue

Your writing is very good and you have already drawn me in

Thank you

Phil_PatsfanPhil_Patsfanover 9 years ago
Please continue

I think this is going to be a really good story! Please write more!

elisebeeelisebeeover 9 years ago
I think that I'm going to love this!

Seems to be firing on all cylinders. Respect,love and strength. Looking forward to reading more.

jennagirljennagirlover 9 years ago
Keep Writing!

It's a good start! I enjoyed it a lot, and am interested to see how the character develops.

Less_IsbetterLess_Isbetterover 9 years ago

Please continue. You have my interest.

Serafina1210Serafina1210over 9 years ago
Very nice

I love a slow and gentle start. It's a lovely story already, and I'm looking forward to what comes next. I won't paddle you like Masterfuljim if you stop, but will just say I'd like to see more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Go back to being a reader

If you don't know the difference between 'it's' and 'its', you shouldn't be writing. There's nothing gripping in this, presented as a novella or short story, but it reads good as a High School essay in which you sum up things. There are no useful paragraphs, just line spacing. I don't get it. But oh, most people are average and will love reading essay style things.

iamkimmmeiamkimmmeover 9 years ago
continue

Great start, keep going.

Shysub412Shysub412over 9 years agoAuthor

@iamkimmie, thank you! I am glad you enjoyed.

@Serafina, thank you for your comment. The next chapter is taking shape nicely, maybe after that one you will reach for the paddle. ; )

@less_is_better, I love your user name! Your comment also made me smile, thank you for reading and commenting.

@jennagirl, thank you, I'm still humbled by the amount of people who have commented!

@elsiebee, thank you, i wanted it to be about love and respect as well as BDSM and it's nice to see that it came across that way. I hope you enjoy chapter 2.

@phil_patsfan, thank you, chapter 2 is proving harder but every comment on here makes me work that little bit more to get it finished. Thank you for reading and commenting.

@anon, Thank you, i have indeed started the next chapter.

@anon, Thank you for your comment, it's nice to have different views and you make some good points.

@bigg-mike, thank you!!

RheamistressRheamistressover 9 years ago

It needs a little editing and some spell check, but I like it. Looking forward to reading more from you. :)

Shysub412Shysub412over 9 years agoAuthor

@Rheamistress. Thank you, I have a wonderful editor now and chapter 2 has been submitted, i hope you continue to enjoy!

FindmywayFindmywayover 9 years ago
Lovely

I have to echo the comments of others. Based on your thoughtful comments I read in the past, I assumed you were a seasoned writer on this site.

I am looking forward to your next chapter! Please hurry!

5 *

always_yesalways_yesover 9 years ago
!!!

I can't believe you started writing and didn't broadcast it across the airwaves!! I've always looked forward to your comments and am so intrigued by this story! You have real skill in description, I could see and feel all of it which is fantastic (and I'm sure will translate deliciously into scenes with MA!). Definitely looking forward to more lady!! <3

AnonymousAnonymous4 months ago

Of course you should continue writing.

Anonymous
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