All Comments on 'A Gift From His Father Ch. 18a'

I love your story, wish you were able to write quicker. Nevertheless, keep 'em cuming!

oh yes keep those chapters coming ,can not let elizabeth get caught

Great chapter, it's fun to see where everyone is a year later. Little sad you didn't mention John sisters. Can't wait till the next chapter . . . what happens to Elizabeth???

very good so far. looking forward to more.

As always a pleasure reading!

liked it A LOT!

Please don't keep us waiting too long!

More piercings please?? I really liked it with Rachel, before John lowered her IQ. It was funny when she freaked. Also Candace is awesome. Also I liked it when Mary has Jackie climax. I dunno, more force, a little more than you have been doing but not too crazy. I love the story, and I hope nothing will happen to April. Xoxo

One of the best stories I've read in a while. To paraphrase oliver, "please sir, may I have more?"

Earlier chapter said something about he was tripling his money every week and had now raised his value to $70 million. And this one, a year later, he isn't nearly that far up. Admittedly this one seems more realistic, but I wish you could go back and edit the old ones to fix mistakes like that.

That part confused me as well

Glad John doesn't condone cheating wives!!!

Everything about your writing has already been said. It has been torture reading these stories.. You have a great theme and at some points it gets exciting but then you butcher the hell out of the English language. You can't even keep track of your characters and I lose interest. If you could get your act together and keep things straight, your stories would be awesome

Make up your mind. First he's worth 2 million; then 70 million and now back down to 25 million. What happened? Was 2014 a bad year financially or something or are you just forgetful?

Alright, now that was a real cliffhanger chapter ending! -- Also, there were many really bad and distracting tense and single vs pleural boo-boos, although I don't recall any completely wrong/mistaken words this chapter, ... The story's twists are quite interesting, ... and I too am in lust with sexy Debra, hubba-hubba! ;-) TTFN

Story line jump: MC discovers tracker hidden beneath skin of Dennis/Denise. And he/she is great full for not being slain for 'betrayal'. Who's responsible for this? Who is Elizabeth investigating? Oh, BTW, what about the investigation that has by now brought down bank official Adams. Who runs the bank now? Considering the way the banks were playing foot lose with repo laws during the 2009 mortgage crisis, you'd have a chapter there alone. John is shocked, Shocked! to learn where some of his minions are acquiring the energy for the quotas he set. Since he is ultimately responsible for their actions, it would behoove him to monitor them better. It's Literotica standards alone keeping them from deflowering freshmen... No further word on the other 4 ring holders either, One or more are probably to blame for the tracking chip. Oh, thanks for the character sheet a few chapters back; it makes a nice refresher. You still need an editor, at the very least- read it out loud, because your eyes will gloss over mistakes. My own classic is 'Welcome to the (new line)

the jungle.' At least you don't have to deal with correction tape. There's a How To posted with Tx tall tails about a macro that highlights all the the to/two/too, there/they're/their, etc. Check it out.

Anon56