by Bardoc93
If this actually becomes a full fleshed story then it might prove to be amazing. It certainly had me immersed enough to want to see this continue.
This isn't even a full chapter. Just started to get interested in the idea when it was over.
Good intro , looks like it will build up to be a very good story . Looking forward to reading further chapters.
It needs to be much more developed to be a complete chapter. We don't really know anything about what is going on. why is the girl even in the story?