All Comments on 'Afterglow Pt. 05'

Well, transpose that definition to short story, because this was a fantastic read ! I love to how this tale effortlessly segued from hospital bedside to a carnal one, from District Attorney conference table to alternately hilarious and poignant parental meet and greet dinner table ( my favorite scene ), then a riveting take this job and shove it face off. the romantic and legal culminations speak for themselves.

My trifling complaints are I wanted Elizabeth to come one last time with with demented stalker as he finally starts to pay the piper, some legal attack, parry, deflect and counterattack judge and jury courtroom drama would have been welcome. Seeing Robert getting his long overdue comeuppance for shtupping boss's wife would have been fantastic. But of course real life doesn't allow us to see all those landmark moments. Sigh.

Great story , regardless, I was off balance and in constant guess mode throughout the whole telling,, because the tone and texture of previous scene would be so different from the present one. LOVED it.. Sublime chaos somehow directed and channeled to Olivia's artful end, pun intended.

One more complaint ! This needed a closing teaser to give a clue about the nature of the sequel. There is a sequel ? please please please please please.

i did a happy dance when i saw this new chapter. i really like it very much.

you really are a talented writer. keep it up. It is one of the best favorite series of mine.

please dont ever stop writing.

How so many of us get so involved in your work that we beg for more. Your characters stopped being mere expressions of your mind and took a life of their own and perhaps we as readers want a continued involvement in them. I know I do, but I also know when a story has come to a possible conclusion and a good one. Do we need you to tell us Elizabeth' new job, or how her and Olivia's relationship goes? No, I for one am content and pleased with how this is and while I would read more of this tale, I also see a good ending in this. You've wrapped up the main plot, and brought the others to a place that allows us to enjoy our own "Afterglow"! I will always seek out your work, you are far to special a writer to ignore. What a fabulous story you wove, thank you! Kevin

One of a kind story. Loved it so much.

"Afterglow" is worth reading if only for the exceptional and beautiful description by Girlinthemoon of the "unbearable pleasure," sex between Elizabeth and and Olivia; the description is so rich in detail, physical and emotional.

The conversation after dinner at Elizabeth's parent's apartment--- marvelous: GITM is near genius in her ability to reveal so much with a single line of dialogue from Elizabeth's mom, "So why don't you tell us once again how you met." Even the guilty pleasure I feel at GITM's description of the color of a coat, "like calamine lotion" makes me warm with smile. And I am filled with admiration for Girlinthemoon's ability to weave a complete and happy ending out of the many threads in this story.

It is difficult to find adjectives which might come near to describing GITM's immense story telling talent. "Brilliant" is not sufficient.

... the last chapter left a bit to be desired. I know I'm nitpicking here but it seemed bland compared to what came before. There was no climax or tension, simply a fade to black.

Still, I'm glad the story came to a satisfactory resolution and Elizabeth gets the happy ending she deserved.

I'm giving 5 stars, mainly considering the story as a whole and not this chapter by itself.

Frankly, this is probably the best series on literotica.com

It's realistic, there's suspense, contains heated lustful situations etc. you get what i mean.

I'm just hoping that this won't be the last part, so please GirlintheMoon, please continue as soon as possible :D

I had to think for a bit, about what it is that makes this series so incredible. And i think its multiple elements, the dialogue, the pace, your style of writing just all of it!. You give life to your characters through your gifted story telling with skill that few authors posses. Forgive my English i just needed to compliment you on your masterpiece. i loved every single chapter, they each brought something to the table. The research you did definitely shows. It is sad how flawed the justice system is and i am so fucking happy that things ended well for Rose and Felicity, really felt for them and for any one who is dealing with stalkers. It is a crime that should be taken more seriously.

Thank you GITM, for sharing your masterpiece. I am simply infatuated with your work.

I loved this series so much! Once I started reading a new part, I'd be too stubborn to stop. You did an amazing job! Keep writing!

Thank you so much for this series. It was great, I couldn't stop reading. I love the development of the characters and the story line. As a reader, it was nice to be able to feel the connection between Olivia and Elizabeth.

Hello,

This is as good as the best writing I've ever had the pleasure of reading-you really are the most wonderful author,the story is deliciously sexy,without being crude.I simply love your work!

Regards and thank you for posting,

Lindsay.

Can't read without dropping a line to say this is a wonderful story. Had me laughing so hard and poignantly real too.

Sounds like the end, but one more chapter..........please?

Smashing. This series is a definite member if the top-five on the site.

GITM writes such real, human characters and doesn't shy away from gritty situations... there's no suspension of disbelief needed, you just read and experience and have no doubt at the end that you've read a masterpiece.

I was engrossed from beginning to end!

This entire series was great. I selfishly want more. But well done.

There are no other words to describe this. Beautiful work, I hope you continue to share these adventures with us.

I'm crying, because I feel in love with the characters as they fell in love with each other. I agree with one of your previous commentators.... That this would make an excellent movie. One of the best longer stories I've read on this site.

I loved the suspense of the story line. I just had to read one after the other. Its not all sex, so that makes it even more worth to read.

This was a wonderful story. At times it made me laugh and smile, cry with wishful things. So much reminded me when I met my first love, so unsure and scared out of my mind. So much more I could say, but why ramble on sounding like a love sick girl.

I wrote a comment thanking you when I finished the first chapter (I had just read a very bad piece of writing and was grateful to find such a good chapter as the start of "Afterglow"). Now I'm thanking you again for a truly excellent story.

I can't comment on the legal aspects as others have done; I'm Irish/English living in the UK. I know our legal systems have the same foundation but there are a lot of differences between them. Suffice to say that your legal scenes seemed plausible to me. As for the rest of the story, everything rang true. Just as in real life, you showed the best and worst of people and hopefully showed that the world has more decent folk than the other kind. I'd like to offer you a small tip to help your text look neater. Where possible, always write numbers as words rather than figures, especially at the start of a sentence (exceptions are astronomical-sized figures and date/time figures).

Thanks again, Moongirl, and keep writing. You've got talent.

Brian

Erotic, sad, frightening, funny exciting - and well written!

Thank you for having had the guts to post a story with such a serious side here.

(And I'm pleased I was able to read all the parts one after the other ;-)

Hope things are going well for you.

R.

Absolutely phenomenal. One of the few series on this site that I've completely fallen in love with. Please, continue to write. You're incredible!

I'm a sucker for a happy ending, and this one just about had me in happy tears. Fantastic writing, fantastic story.

this was amazing please make more

It is one of my favorites...thank you for writing it.

..... of the literary kind.

That's what you've given us all, through this wonderful tale of Love & passion.

A story that easily appealed to both the head & the heart, as usual.

As one of the comments said, it's really hard to pin point the best aspect, a perfect 10, in the art of story telling.

It's sad, that this has to end, like all perfect dreams. But more so because, it seems, that you've stopped using this platform.

Oh well.... it's our loss.

Anyway, thanks for sharing & a well deserved 5 stars.

There's A Girl In The Moon,

The Moon Rules the Heart,

And so, 'The Girl' rules Our Hearts.

O.K., in simple words, You've been Favorited. :-)

Thanks.

I can't believe I attempted to write a poem.

You're spreading some crazy vibes, 'GIRL'. :-)

this was a great ending to this story

A well-crafted series, thank you for sharing! I'm really sorry you seem to have stopped using this platform but I'll definitely be returning to your profile to read your stories again. x

Loved the story! You're brilliant in my opinion! I'll definitely be looking for more of your work as I read through.

My ID name is DRMYTRUESELF, if you combined Olivia and Liz you would have a pretty good idea of who I am. I hardly leave comments but your story has the depth of a statement being made within the realm and environment of an already stigmatized world. Your writing is like Hamlet, every bit of our inner selves that collides with social expectations pulled into a narrative of what I hope is time not wasted. I am a professor doing my doctorate, I am single, 34 and fluid. It matters on who you love, perhaps mine got away yrs ago leaving me to wait. I am truly intrigued.

Truly great story! I wish there were more. Thanks for sharing your talent and if you ever think about writing a couple more chapters or anything please do. I think it would be nice, down the road, if olivia and liz had a baby or rose and felicity at least. Just a thought. Thanks again!

This was a fantastic story. I don't know how I found it, but I'm glad I did. It was a very enjoyable and exciting story to read. I really loved the ending. The story was very well written. Will definitely be looking to read more of you. Hope to see more from you.

I don't understand how anyone can vote it lover than 5, but some obviously have done that. What a pity!

When I read here I normally just scroll to the sex scenes because after all, those are what I'm here for. But you've made me read the entire story word by word because of your great writing skills.

Thank you very much. I loved it.

I just loved this story! thank you so much for sharing it with us.

You told us a marvelous and powerful story. The sorrow and the joys seemed very real and were extremely moving. All the way to the end, you had me worried something would happen to destroy the happiness they were building. Excellent job!

I don't comment all that often, but your writing style is like Grisham's: straightforward and unencumbered. The emotion here was heartfelt even with the simplicity of your prose. I am pleased to have to have found this series and your series "Wrong".

I've read this series before but I had to read it again. It's just that damn good. And I will probably read it again at some point in the near future. I love the characters and the sex scenes were mmm very hot and well written.

Wow 😍

I'm so glad I read this! Heartwarming. Thank You for writing it.

This was compelling and satisfying in the end. I'm getting addicted to reading you. I sure hope you keep this up. You're a fine writer.

Throughly enjoy your writing. Thank you for

sharing your considerable talent with us

Theakston

All 5 chapters we're captivating. Not just for the sex between two went that are on love, bit for the basis for the story. I literally could not stop. I found myself looking forward to the sex but also wanting to find out what happens next. I could feel Rose's pain and I was looking for justice just as all the characters on this story were. One of the best stories I have read on a while. A captivating storyline is not just about the sexual expression. Well done!

This story was really good...and I mean, REALLY good! It was funny, sweet, erotic, suspenseful, troubling and an all-around great piece of writing. I mean, this could be a great book and I'm not just saying that...If you were to add more background information about each character and flesh out some of the major scenes...Eg: lengthen courtroom scenes; include more dangerous/suspenseful situations between Dan and each major female characters (Rose, Felicity, Olivia, and Elizabeth); and have your conclusion but also add an epilogue to see how everyone was doing months after the verdict.

Hell, I'd buy it :)

This is honestly my favorite story on this site. Every few months I come back and I read this story again because it is just that good. This is at least my 5th time reading it. It encompasses comedy, suspense, romance, and the best character dialogue I have seen in a while. If possible, I would love to read a sequel about Elizabeth and Olivia and see how their relationship has grown!

Brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Kept me enthralled from beginning to end. Note to self: Must start reading your stories earlier in the evening so I can get to sleep at a reasonable time. Looking forward to more.

Love this series - keep coming back to it - agree that it would make a great book, series, even a TV series - just too good to leave it idling here - thanks for sharing 😘

A brilliant story. One that is going to linger with me. A very serious and horrifying subject for a romance but you have pulled it off with panache. Elizabeth's journey was told with such sensitivity and truth. I love it.

What can I say more?

I enjoyed it enormously. Hope you will continue to write, a book maybe? You can do it!

He didn't deserve to be treated that way. Hopefully he'll get a light sentence and be out again soon.

Wonderful descriptive writing. Heart wrenching, Heart warming, a lingering yearning for love. Most enjoyable reading thank you.

"The stoop to my parents' apartment was very icy."

Hilarious! The only people I've ever known who call the front steps (or a porch) of a house a "stoop" are each from Toronto.

I'm a bit confused about Olivia's back-history with breast cancer. She's a survivor, but it surprises me that her boobs are always described as perfect and round. So ... no surgery was necessary? No mastectomy?

Love this series, it's brilliant!

Just completed reading all 5-Parts of Afterglow, with it being quite a nice & well written read. There was exceptional substance in the story, along with "Great Sex" between Liz and Olivia.

I specifically enjoyed the manner in which Rose / Felicity's sub-plot was handled, being very intense with their love for each other, while simultaneously being mostly non sexual.

Definitely A 5*-STAR Lesbian Romance Story!!!!!

Beautiful, sad, erotic. Wonderful. I can't really think what else to say.

Sums it up for me. Great story, very well told. One thing, I read the initial description of Olivia and later reread that part. Tan with black hair. Throughout I unconsciously pictured Olivia as black. A stunning beauty at that. I think that mental image will stay with me. Thank you

Girlinthemoon hope you will carry on writing about these two Olivia and Liz you are a fantastic writer and would love to know how it all turns out for the four girls as they deserve love and happiness and I cannot wait to read your next story about them thank you. xxxx

The legal system can be very frustrating. I love your stories

A really pleasant story. I thought it well written and enjoyable.

So glad to have found this wonderful story.

This was so beautiful and well written! I cried. More than once. Great work.

Such a fine story!

Poignant, bittersweet story, exceedingly well told and written!

Awesome powerful

I usually don't comment unless I can add some meaningful critical suggestions.

But that's pretty hard, in this case.

I think the only suggestions I'd make are preferences, not critiques.

I'd've liked to see a little further into Olivia's world. A little more balance between their two halves. And we didn't see Liz "sing" in court; I'd've liked to see her do that. And know the new job she got was what she really wanted. And maybe see a drawing of Liz displayed by Olivia somewhere?

All nits.

All in all, pretty much a solid 5.

An amazing piece of writing. Every scene felt so believable, and your dialog was all so perfect. Thank you for sharing your gift with us.

Amazing story. It hot so many bases for me. Even in ways that superoxide me also in ALL your stories, I feel like the conversations are so real. Plus there is so much on this site that feel contrived to me, however that us not a problem for you Thank you!

Energystar

What a great story, expertly told. A very solid five stars.

Sooo good!

It is a great story to read and I loved both the characters and the multi-layering of the story.

Thank you for this truly enjoyable tale. Also, I could not break myself from reading the six O's between each chapter as one would express the oohs and aahs at a fireworks display.

My only complaint…end too soon love the characters and story good jon

Wonderful, wonderful story. You describe emotion so incredibly well, this beautiful love story easily makes it into my top ten.

This story really surprised me. I normally don't enjoy lesbian stories. But after reading this one, at least from this author, I may have to rethink that position. It was, after all, a love story at its core and this one was particularly good. It was also helped by an interesting and somewhat exciting story line. I particularly liked the way the characters evolved and interacted. Well done and five stars for me.