by LittleWillie75
I love this storyline, and I appreciate where you are taking it. Keep up the good work.
Love the work you have done so far! Can't wait for the next installment and to see where this goes.
You've made a pretty good start, but as I noted in the title, you're tripping up on the details and also losing character consistency. For example, in Part 1 the wife stated they'd been married for 12 years, yet at the end of Part 2 she says their honeymoon was only 5 years ago.
The problems with character consistency are a little more subtle, but reread what you've written and maybe you'll see that the husband's "control mode" is too weak, lax and tentative. He simply doesn't "sell" the story's premise that he's a man who's been wronged and humiliated by his wife and that he intends to fully test her to find out if she's worth forgiving and staying with.
Likewise for the wife, her inner dialogue doesn't convey that she feels any sincerely deep remorse for what she did. She merely acknowledges she "made a mistake" but there's nothing to indicate she really feels any sincere, heart-wrenching anguish over hurting her husband, and she gives off the vibe that she's not really afraid of losing him and all she needs to do is just play his little game and finesse her way out of it. Her attitude is more like "uh-oh,I messed up and got caught. My bad. What do I have to do to cool him off and sooth his little ego so things can get back to normal (that would be the normal that suits her, of her).
These multichapter stories always start losing control. "I'm so upset about your one-time infidelity that I will leave you if you don't let me tie you up and force you to have sex with multiple strangers?" That doesn't make sense.
She is taking too much control, though. Dean has to be in charge here.
What if she got pregnant? What if she caught a nasty disease and has now passed it along to him? What happens when she does it again? She will you know. Bad solution. Unacceptable solution. Bad story
Look forward to part III. You have a good beginning to a nice series
I like the idea of redemption but I believe the story should be left to the husbands biding. If it were left for the wife to decide she could prepare for the situation instead of doing a task to show her true acknowledgment of the wrong that was done. There’s no shock if you can see it coming. IE the husband should have had her flirt with the girl in the restaurant (braless greeter ) in a various number of ways. Public display, movie theater escapes wearing just a coat ect