All Comments on 'Blood Relations Ch. 04'

by Sherrybaby14

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  • 18 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
So Good..

So enjoying & looking forward to more as you keep us going! :) Thanks for another great story, but please do finish this :) would hate to be left hanging again.. :) Just keep it coming thanks! :)

Cheers, Andi

nohavegoodnamenohavegoodnameover 9 years ago
seven pages?! it's not even my birthday!

so awesome! can't wait for the next chapter. loving where the story is going.

SillySquirrelSillySquirrelover 9 years ago
NO WORDS!!!

This series has captured me from the beginning! There aren't enough words to describe how amazing you are at telling a story! Keep up the AWESOME work!

browneyes213browneyes213over 9 years ago
I can't even deal

Oh my goodness! First of all thanks for the 7 pages of goodness! I don't know how I feel about Serena. I mean I'm rooting for her and Adam but .... Lance. Damn. She's slowly getting on my nerves but she's a smart girl! Looking forward to the next chapter :)

GruodioticGruodioticover 9 years ago
oh man

I don't know which one I like more Lance or Adam. my first thought was that they should have a threesome. I know it's cheeky, but come on it sounds just right.but then I thought that she should be with the vampire, but I know your writing style girl and I know she's gonna end up with the wolf.

Anyways, I love this story. I love that the girl is strong and independent not like girl from your previous story.

Waiting for part 5 sooooo sooooooo much!

redlion75redlion75over 9 years ago

i say she leaves town and tells them all to fuck themselves.no adam,lance or granddad

ariesgirlariesgirlover 9 years ago

I'm on the fence about Serena, she is almost to the point of being annoying. I can understand her being upset with why Malcolm didn't tell her who he is but she probably would not have believed him. He is trying to protect her the best way he know how. It seems both Serena and Malcolm have so much to learn about each other. She need to open up about those emails she gets. Malcolm may have the resources to help her but she won't ask because she is mad at him and think she can handle it on her own.

All of them is contributing to this big mess.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Amazing

I just read this entire series,WOW very engrossing, Looking forward to future chapters

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
That little fucker

Holy crap. Can't believe Adam would be so presumptuous. And what he said! Gosh, it's exactly like the emails from Jacob. I know that you're obviously going to end her with Adam, but seriously... He doesn't deserve her. All he's done is manipulate her. I hope that she ends up with Lance. But, the typical way would be Adam.

Team Lance!

PallasAthena123PallasAthena123over 9 years ago

Someone else was annoyed, but I'm actually really glad Serena s PISSED at Malcolm. Some of it may be a little misdirected, she's likely projecting some of her harbored feelings of loss and abandonment onto him, but he is certainly deserving of wrath. I mean, here he is, marching into her life out of nowhere, ordering her around, all the while feeding her this narrative with himself as victim....when his distance from his human family is probably at least 95% his fault.

Adam is also an asshole. If you're ultimately going to pair them off, he needs to go through some serious growth. Much of his character makes sense given his background, but that does NOT make him a healthy romantic partner.

Lance is definitely the only dude so far who isn't an asshole. (John's not that bad, but he's too much of a pushover, he is complicit in the assholery of Malcolm and Adam). But, part of what makes Lance so decent is his firm boundaries which prevent him from accepting a role as potential romantic/sexual partner to Serena. And even he isn't THAT great, since he seems perfectly willing to manipulate her mind, and only didn't do it this time because she beat him at pool. Being honest with her and letting her make her own choices shouldn't give him as many points as it does. I think Lance is too crucial a friend and ally for you too build any real romantic entanglement between them.

Littlecat76Littlecat76over 9 years ago
At redlion75

Know where you're coming from but then there's no more to the story!

I love the fact the badass vampire is the turning out to be the better guy but she's been drawn to something at the club that is not Adam still more twists me thinks??

SweetRapunzelSweetRapunzelover 9 years ago
huh?

when did Serena become all knowing about the guys around her? How can she know what their motives is and how they are acting or doing when she just "know" them for like a week? Does she have training in some behav. training or some thing? Or is this kind of thing is part of her other non human side? like I don't know fairy side maybe? That will explain how she can read what people around her what they are doing or thinking or acting.

Other than that I think she is right to be piss with Malcolm. And with Adam I hope she is just looking for some kind of "human" touch and comfort, that's why she let him sleep in her bed. The first night maybe she felt draw to him coz of his wolf side. Still hope they are not mate. They seems totally on a different wave lenght.

I don't like that as soon as Adam get angry he start name calling her and insulting her etc. If I where her I wouldn't want to be around that kind of person as friend or have a boyfriend like that. I hope that's why she is going for Lance instead of that dog.

Lance, well he seems better fit for her. Unless there is some one else is going to turn up but hardly right? coz we are on what? Ch. 4 already kinda late to drag some one in...or maybe not LOL

John? hmm can't see him with her.

Btw pls, no threesome or if you gonna have it pls let me know at the top of the story. So I know that I can stop reading the story. Thank you.

Other wise this is a good story. Let's see what happen next. Thank you for writing it and let us enjoy your fantasy world.

cantfightfatecantfightfateover 9 years ago
Surprisingly, I'm a Lance fan.

Whatever extra feeling Adam has for her, it's definitely not love. How many times does he need to insult her for that to sink in? She is too forgiving. At least Lance is honest with her. And he wants her. I think she should let him mark her. Her nonhuman half will protect her from being mindless, I think.

Looking forward to more.

Sherrybaby14Sherrybaby14over 9 years agoAuthor
Chapter 5

I really REALLY enjoy all of your comments and feedback! I am working on Chapter 5 and it should be up by Monday (finger's crossed).

LadyPartsLadyPartsover 9 years ago
Well Hells bells!

Just found your story and although it was a bit of a rough start this has turned into an incredible page turner!

Your dialogue is great! Snappy witty come backs and commentary staying true to each character. You've done great fleshing out their different sides, really well done there! But what good is characterization without a good plot and sweetheart you've got a great plot going on here!

I'm sorry to do this but your chapters need a red pen badly.

Granted, grammar rules do not apply in dialogue since it should be written as the character would speak it out loud. But none of your characters have been painted as uneducated so the gramatical mistakes are bothersome to me.

"Me and you had one night together." Should read "you and I"

"He had came..." Should read "he had come." Actually you make that mistake with alarming frequency. He came to the dance or he had come to the dance.

Red pen bull shit aside, great story! I am looking forward to reading the rest very much!

Wanted to put this at the end of comments cause ...spoilers.....

I thought Malcome might have had something to do with the truck crashing into the restaurant that killed her parents and boyfriend and that's why he took such an interest in Serena. Wow was I wrong! I'm a little confused about her boyfriend. Did he die in that crash? Was the crash real only it was just her mother in there? Did she have friends or not?

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Nice Story

I just found this story and am working my way through it. It's a great storyline. I look forward to reading the remainder. I do have to agree with LadyParts. The grammar is distracting. The impression I get of the characters is that they are all educated. Common errors like switching 'I' for 'me' and placing the word 'me' first in the order is first grade grammar. I wanted to place that comment at the end, also.

Just to repeat, I love the story. You are doing a great job. I would never attempt to do something so creative, and I admire your work. Thank you.

evebroughtanaxthistimeevebroughtanaxthistimeover 7 years ago

Good doG people! 'Me and you' is an unwritten, but universally recognized way to indicate that whatever is affixed, carries more emphasis than usual.

"This was pretty much the end of wooden cues." Bahahahaha.

Shot for story.

Ps. Jacob is the man for her. Definitely. He is starting to look like a supportive and stable family man to me. The only other option is a 4-sum. Then the boys are forced to keep each other in check.

ColddesireColddesireover 7 years ago
Good riddance Adam !

The words Adam said can not be forgiven and shouldn't be either . And I hope that she won't forgive him and be with Lance

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userSherrybaby14@Sherrybaby14
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Hi! Still writing, but lately more on tumblr and ao3. Sort of fallen into The Walking Dead fandom, will write originals again soon

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