by Quantified
For now just a 1 *...I'll wait for the next parts, but the way showed here is more to become even worse...Let's hope not...
Jacob is going to be in for a wild ride when Torie gets a hold of him. Poor John will find that Torie will never want a Yuengling beer and he will wonder why the well has dried up. Nice read.
I going to wait and see, but I currently have ZERO respect for Torie.
She wants to be with another man, she should tell her husband, and leave.
I appreciate your writing style, as you do an excellent job of letting the readers know exactly what thoughts are taking place in the heads of the characters. One minor quibble is that you shifted tenses a few times, from past to present, and back again. Try to maintain one tense (past works best) throughout the story, or it can be confusing to read.
I look forward to the next chapter.
KarenE hit it right on the head. She has the wherewithal to have stopped this before it even started but to allow herself to dwell means she is already and willing. I would not leave Jacob out of it either. It takes two to tango and most of the lives they are about to mess with have no clue and, even worse, no say. Pure selfishness.
I love cheating wife stories, the emotions they evoke, and this could be the start of a good one.
Course, it all depends on how you complete it. Good luck and nice effort.
For the thrill? She doesn't seem to have much respect for either her husband or her marriage. And I question whether this is an interesting start or the whole story. No "Chapter One". No "to be continued". So if this is the beginning and the end, then it's a poor offering. We'll see. No stars at this point.
Yeah, what this site needs is another cluck loving author.
Happily married wife suddenly falls for a guy that is a poor substitute for her husband and suddenly, she's having an affair without any guilt. Not even the slightest. How the fuck does that happen?
... to all who have left comments. Even if you didn't like it, I'm grateful for the feedback! Everybody's gotta start somewhere.
Utter garbage, getting so tired of the trend on lit now, cheating wife with no reason for it other than she's a bored bitch with no respect for her husband, her marriage and lets face it HERSELF, I won't be reading any more from you, you're no different to ALL the other cuck writers on this site, grow a set and BE different.
As to starting to cheat, there are only so many reasons to cheat that one can have, and since LW is generally written by old men, the cheater is usually the wife, which narrows it down some more.
Really, originality is tough, so the readers might reasonably focus more on character development and plot than the structural things such as how did the cheater get found out.
Since Greek times, often the story needs a tragic moment where the audience says "NO you fool, don't do that!" In this story has author has the wife planning to cheat because Jason turns her on. That is the "no you fool" moment, but take that away, and there goes the story.
Chilley
personally I don't approve of cheating on either side of the fence. this story has a lot to develop before a judgment can be passed by me. there is no prelude, or a reason for anything.
a number of affairs start in the same manner... the author (I hope) will develop into an above average presentation... I like...
It's sad that the author was scared off by these douche nozzles who spend their time putting down every story in the LW category. Actually I believe it's one sad lonely little man who thought he wanted his wife to sleep with others, and when she did she found out just how pathetic he was and left his scrawny worthless ass to jack off over Internet porn and try to feel superior by posting negative comments. What a complete and utter loser.
Torie will cry
Torie will try to "explain"
John won't buy her bullshit
Torie will beg for forgiveness
John will not give it too her
John will throw Torie out
Torie goes to her folks house
Torie tells he folks she and John are "having problems"
John gets a phone call from them
John tells them what Torie did
Torie's parents are not amused
Torie can stay there for a month, no more
John, in the meantime, files for divorce
John also files against Torie and John's employer
Torie will be dismissed
Torie will realize that Jacob cost her everything she held dear
Torie will blame Jacob for everything
Jacob will laugh at her
Torie will get a gun
Jacob will get shot
Jacob will live
John will correct that oversight
John has friends who play for keeps
Jacob is never seen again
Torie pleads with John
John refuses to listen after she tore out his heart
John gets a restraining order
Torie is crushed
John tells her to sign
Torie refuses
John again tells her to sign
Torie signs three months later
John stays in the house until the divorce is granted
Torie lives in a one room basement suite
John transfers to another city
Torie starts drinking when she finds out
John couldn't care less
John has moved on.
Torie cries herself to sleep every night.
John and Torie were once very happy.
John and Torie are not happy now.
Life goes on.
well you see the one star, that's the best you can do, i don't want to read any more of your stories, seems like all the writers can do is put the woman in the wrong. it's a proven fact that men and women cheat remember it takes two. you people need to get in touch with the real world. you write better and i will give you better marks
If an author/writer (???) can’t finish their stories why do they bother at all?
Start of a good BTB revenge story... I hate that some writers never complete their stories. This has the makings of one...