All Comments on 'Yo-yo Chronicles Ch. 02-3 Ending'

Great fantasy revenge. I hated the original and reading this helps.

Five Stars

I'd really hoped this story had been abandoned, love how the btb crowd here gets all worked up at any hint of bdsm in loving wives, or is quick to call for the head of an author who has a man even remotely reluctant about sex. But this stuff gets a pass, because of course rape is okay if it's against a woman.

you seem like you're an extremely capable writer.... how about you coming up with fresh, original, and refreshing stories of your own?

just craft stories that are deep, dark, good, bittersweet, tragic, and all around heart pumping like some of the ones ---- by other writers ---- that you've been trying to bring to some more, in your words, sensible/logical conclusions...

there's no reason, and no way, for you to keep finishing other writers stories... there are just too many and most ---- yes, even most of the ones you chose to write a conclusion to ---- are just not worth that much...

Dark and beyond reality but in a way that is probably the only way it would work to offset the original premise of the various Yo-Yo Chronicles. I think he went along with Ellie to return to his role too easily and that should have risen more red flags to him than it did. Because of that of course she felt comfortable pushing the boundaries with the computer. Just don't think his character would have completely given up his skepticism even in regard to her. Maybe it was necessary in order for him to fill his role as trainer as well as, apparently, breeder. Will Jilly be the next mother?

... but why is it (and the original) in Loving Wives? While it does ok here, it would get rave reviews in the BDSM or Non-Con categories.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I find myself partially agreeing with frontlinecaster. This one went too far. You all know that I'm all for revenge and justice, but outright physical violence against women just isn't my thing. This one really should have been in NonCon, to be honest.

FTDS, I usually enjoy your work, but this went way beyond the pale. Your writing talent is unquestionable, though.

3 Stars.

This was one of them.

I usually like your stuff and I've grown to hate Edriders stuff for the obvious reasons. But this went way too far. In the end I simply didn't get any enjoyment out of his revenge. And I LIKE good revenge. Maybe next time. Pick another Edrider story and put a decent ending to it. He certainly has enough unfinished stories to last you for a LONG, LONG time. Glad to see you back.

Man, you are one sick puppy. This is so far over the top that I started to skip pieces but gave totaly up long before the end. Get Help!!

building a stage? really?

Yuck, disgusting, even sicker than the original.

I liked the fact that they Trained the wives and Female workers for the club. and are recruiting more members and slaves. They Got What They Deserved.

And to think that I had actually began to believe that this CLOWN FTDS had actually tired of his diatribes against others stories. Like I said, Foolish Me

Wrong Category!

Implausible, no, Impossible.

1. For a group that was supposed to be so well connected that they were protected, law enforcement, legal, politics, high and low society, mob, etc. they seemingly draw no attention when the ring leaders and the regular participants just disappear.

2. And what about all the people who attended the underground activities on a regular basis? Their little show house just stops operating and no one notices?

3. no facility with that many occupants could remain off the radar and not draw attention to itself. Logistics alone would cause a notice. Food, Waste, traffic, utilities, services that go from zero to very large in an unused facility.

4. women from the community just start to vanish without a trace on a regular basis, yet no one looks for them?

etc. etc. etc.

Anyone who doesn't like this story is crazy, Its well written, the plot is great, the characters are believable and the sex is enjoyable. What you need to realize, this is a story, its fiction, its not real life. But its also a great story for anyone who's had something really crappy happen in their love life to dream about happening to the crazy bitch wife that left for some young stud, or the asshole husband that screwed his secretary. Its fantasy, pure and simple and its a good read.

Thank you FTDS and your editor for your hard work and effort.

Robo

Far fetched fantasy fabulously finished!

Seriously, it definitely belongs in BDSM or NonConsent .

Interesting that you recreate in your story, some of the methods of the Turkish Harem from 200+ years ago. Including the behavior of the women. Higher level slaves were even more cruel than the men. And the little cliques of slaves that help one another. Was this intentionally done by you FTDS?? Or a coincidence??

Good story earned 4*s . Definitely not LW story.

AMerryMan

Thank you FTDS story for finishing the story. You write good stories, they flow well and leave some to the imagination. I look forward to your future work.

It maybe a far fetched fantasy and it is more than likely in the wrong category. The story should really reside in BDSM or Non Consent, however it is still a bloody amazing story with plenty of characters to explore and expand on. This story can be a Dallas and have lots of spin offs which should keep the author busy through he winter months.

The story flowed well and was well written and shows a very extensive imagination for developing the original story into this version we have now.

For me I would like to have a bit more detailed sex scent narration, however the characters were plausible even though the situation of owning a large collection of women as slaves does pose very dangerous implications for the collective of abused men to deal with.

After all we should all realise this is a FANTASY story and can not be recreated in the real world.

I agree with rightbank that there are areas of the story that my need some explaining like utility usage increase, police following up on missing people, what happened to the capture men, car parking, site location, food shopping, waste both human and construction, visiting abused husbands as not all could keep quite.

Perhaps if the facility was moved off shore to an Island outside the USA and international law !

If I had written this story and those were the only points I did not cover, well I would not feel to bad and not loose any sleep over it.

Perhaps the spin off series may clear some of these issues up.

Looking forward to the new episodes all ready !

Keep up the good work FTDS

even topped the original shit by edrider. Why can this be in this category?

I just scanned the pages and nearly vomited. This (as well as the previous chapter) is far, far beyond everything else from this author with his quite formidable writing abilities.

What got you to this disgusting plot, FTDS?

Interesting twist with the end. I know a lot of the readers will take a disliking to many parts of it, But take it from someone that was married to a twisted woman... not all of this is a stretch...

The twist of the wife falling back to her old habits is RIGHT ON. And the training of the wives is the right approach... it takes a lot to change the years of ingrained habit of a twisted woman... if it ever can be. Some will learn the error of their ways.... others will only make it look like they have until they get the chance to do it again. Doesn't mean we don't care for them, we just know what not to let them get away with.

Seriously just Damn! This is soo over the top! PERFECT!!!! A more erotic take on the Gor series of novels. Thank you FTDS.

Not your best. This commits the sin of being too drawn out and repetitious. It gets down right boring.

The characters are as sick as the author, should have chopped all the bastards balls off including the fucked up authors

cos there is too much smug self rightousness on the 'Hero's' part.

He ends up being no better than the wives.

I have to admit I didn't care for the violence and BDSM style...BUT remember what these supposedly loving wives did to their husbands. They betrayed them and let them be gang raped by other men in front of a crowd for so-called entertainment. After reading the original story, how many readers would think this is too over-the-top? I didn't. Just imagine for a moment that your loving wife did something like this to you, would you still think it was too severe? Would you be better off being in jail for murder or have something like this happen.

The only thing I wonder about is how could he take her back after what she did to him. Thanks for the 'rest of the story'.

What a series - the concept feels dayam good - the application of it would be impossible - just the logistics -

You would run out room sometime -

You never ever release one of the women and feel safe -

You would eventually mess up an extraction and risk being found -

Shit a ton of reality intrudes -

BUT it is an interesting fantasy LOL

Even Elle and Velma could get a wild hair up their ass and destroy them all -

Do not know why others do not like. Think it was excellent. Harsh topic in your excellent style. I hope you add to it. Really the first BTB complete story yet. Please let me know when yo write more.

Thanks

Moor-laffs@earthlink.net

I did have to remind myself of all the pain, torture, criminal rape and sodomy, and public humiliation that led to the Club's formation. Due to the financial resources and power wielded by Joanna and her followers, the male victims would never receive justice from any source. Many of those men suffered lifetime ruin. Keeping that in mind, not once did I feel the least bit of pity for the wives and man-haters who so willingly threw away marriages and husbands in favor of short-lived or ever-increasing sexual fantasies. If Petra, Jilly, Joanne, Ellie and Velma had met with a terminal end, I would have still enjoyed it. In fact, the only part I did not like was how Ellie could not break her lust for watching her husband being viciously and criminally raped at her request. If this story were to be continued, I would expect that Ellie would try to secretly have her husband kidnapped, tortured and castrated.

Your shitty finish to a shitty story is so bad that all the adjacent stories have commenced to slide into the pit created by the suction. Yes, it positively sucks.

U really burst the bubble I put around u. I think U need to b punished by being beaten half to death. All u bdsm motherfuckers. Look me up sometime and I'll b glad to administer it. FUCK U ALL.

I can't believe I finished the whole thing. I didn't like it much.

i felt like creating a sequel to punsh the fucking monsters these guys are. isnt it supposed to be eye for an eye. not the whole fucking soul for an eye. the bitches may have deserved to be punished to the same extent as the male victims once. but repeatedly?? gone to far son. your a sick mother fucker. i finished it because i had to finish the damn story. oh well i guess im just as fucked up as the rest of the btb readers. probably your worst continuations. never mind. 3* because i normally like your work.

Yes the revenge was good. But continuing in the house and doing what they did was a horrible idea. All it did was keep the memory of what happened fresh in their minds. They would have been better served by killing the men and shipping the women off to whorehouses around the world and getting on with their lives. Of course they should have shipped their wives out too. Ellie showed him multiple times she wasn't going to stop humiliating him. Whether it was watching the video or ass raping him, so wouldn't let it go. She needed to be gone permanently gone. Awful ending.

I like a good revenge, but Damn. This was a little much. Your a great writer but this one kind of got a little out there. Writing is five stars, story line maybe a three for me. So I give four.

Great writing. Tough to write an ending to this. You did great. Hey everyone, ,,,,it's called fiction. You can be over the top here because it's FICTION! Thanks for your hard work.

So what happens 10 years later, you guys gonna kill 'em....How long can something like this last ?

Can you do it ? popping another human's not as easy as movies would have people believe....just sayin....T

Great execution, outstanding thought to the storyline, and excellent characters. REALLY looking forward to more of the club.

5 stars!,!

They all did deserve viscous punishments.

But this just degrades the punishers even worse.

Tough to remedy the original Evil

It's sexy as hell. Who wouldn't enjoy a passel of slaves down in the basement who'll do anything you want? At least every once in a while.

Well written and a good storyline.

Their club house is no better then the shows that many of those men were raped in. Even worse. Torture chambers.

Stu is just as bad as the bastards in the clubhouse.

Someone was reading the story of O when they wrote this one.

I think the series was fantastic! Now, when will the musical version be ready?

I am more than excited about you finishing up some of these old unfinished projects because I am the kind of person who is continually too dense to check and see if it is an unfinished piece. I can’t count the number of times I was totally immersed in some story that suddenly ends and hasn’t been touched in years. I want to throw my IPAD through the wall.

I found this story to be an interesting piece of work that is well thought out and sadly that was when I realized that our “hero” was just your average gutless wonder who got cucked and couldn’t deal with the shame or embarrassment or whatever his little brain was coming up with while he was busy being total hypocrite.

I just loved this story it was fun. Such a shame FTDS died before he could add further tales to it

I miss him and his talent a lot. We need someone else to step up and fill his shoes.

Legio Patria Nostra you have talent, could you do it?

I think to continue the series, they should buy an island or even islands. Biggest question is, how would they raise children. Perhaps, they could separate the slave area from a child rearing area with neighboring islands??