All Comments on 'Date Night'

by h3donist_prime

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  • 14 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
NICE FANTASY

It is fun to role play. Possibilities are endless.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Neat...

the story line was apparent from near the start... But I loved it... I recall a similiar event with my wife... My wife was beyond hot and ready... Thanks for the memory

Tim413413Tim413413over 9 years ago
Another

new writer to Lit. and LW. Keep up the good work!

honey_licker1124honey_licker1124over 9 years ago
Really enjoyed it!

I see from your submission page this is your first on LW. It is very expressive with adjectives that makes it like you are really there. The description of Lisa was complete and very good. So I think this is not your first erotic story.

I figured out early that they were husband and wife, but when he said he would text her with instructions, I was certain. She had not given him her cell number, had he?

I copied down three word usage problems:

"As her unconsciously turned to scan the room once more, " should have been "she"

"as the bar slide lower, near her ankles, " should have been "slid"

"as one ones at her wrist did." I suppose it should have been "as the ones at the wrist..."

Also, he took the leg stretcher bar off, laid her on the bed and then spooned against her, but there was no mention of taking off of the handcuffs or black silk blindfold.

All in all, I enjoyed it, and look forward to your next story. 5 *'s despite the errors.

swingerjoeswingerjoeover 9 years ago
Nice debut

I initially passed over this because I'm tired of the "wife meets stranger in a hotel bar" scenario, but you executed this well. You have talent as a writer, and I hope you contribute more to this site.

The ending of this story was telegraphed so loudly that I would have been shocked if it had ended any other way. But I think that only means that I read far too many stories on this site! It's difficult to find a story with a plot that hasn't been written a thousand times before.

impo_58impo_58over 9 years ago
Good story...

All signals were he was the husband, and being so, it's a 4 * story...If he wasn't the husband it would be a 1 * cheating story...

bearsladybearsladyover 9 years ago

Well done. Hope to see more from you soon.

sandymonroesandymonroeover 9 years ago

Ver very hot and sexy date! I kind of guessed the surprise ending but liked it anyway. Keep on writing things like that!

MitchFraellMitchFraellover 9 years ago
Great story

I really liked it. Ah yes! he knew her phone number.

LimaCharlieLimaCharlieover 9 years ago
Enjoyed It.

Please keep writing. You have a good knack for this. The spreader bar needs to be gotten rid of though.

** PS: Every time I read about a secret night out I can't help but envision the couple on Modern Family doing this as Clive and Juliana. Poor Clive is supposed to follow her up to a room she has reserved, after he has 'picked' her up at the bar, but winds up in the wrong room.

IpikakIpikakover 9 years ago
Interesting story...

But the constant changes between past and present tense before it settled down were almost a deal breaker.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Well done!

Keep writing. Great style.

robroy93robroy93about 4 years ago
??

Was the asshole hrhusband? I didn't care enough to reread. Like to meet me one of them there doms. I got me some handcuffs and an asp.

widowedidiotwidowedidiotalmost 2 years ago
Sorry.

This was the sorriest story oi have ever read. To start with. No girl falls for such an idiotic game where she's the only one participating while the partner does all the ordering. There was no hiding that the stranger was her husband. Maybe next time the author will make it more difficult for us to figure she's out with her husband.

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