All Comments on 'There Must Be a Mistake Ch. 08'

I enjoyed reading this chapter. Thank you for sharing.

I love that you are bring your story lines together. I my be wrong but did Even leave Celeste out because he was having feelings of mistrust like I did at one point when you wrote about her with Patty and the others in Honor Your Father things just pointed to her. The way Even said he could feel bad things coming just made me think of her and the power she had and always wanting more. I maybe wrong but I feel it in my bones.

sincerely your fan

Cinnamon_Spice

not liking how gray is treating her.she has barely had time to try and figure out who she is and now a man she has only known for a week is telling her she WILL do this and she CANT do that.if he really does love her then shouldnt he take her like she is and not demand she change to what he thinks she should be.while i agree she needs to cut back with the cursing she is still a 17 yr old girl raised to be that way for her own protection and has yet to grow out of it before her life is being taken over by a man doing things her stepdad was doing to her mom with all the controlling her stuff.

I enjoyed this as much as any Thorne Smith book.

Lots of laughs, but please, before you publish the novel, please get a good proofreader. If you cannot find one, I will volunteer to do it for you.

The small things I found are inconsequential to the story but are little stumbling blocks for observant readers.

There are not a lot of them, but they stand out to someone who was brought up with strict ideas of proper grammer.

My apologies for the criticism.

Keeps getting better. Maybe it's a generational thing, but as one of your previous readers suggested, I think you are overdoing the " screaming and hitting and killing".. I love the characters and hope you will reuse them in future stories.

I love your work but I am having a hard time getting my head around someone with such a talent for storytelling/inventing stumbling on so many malapropisms. And so many are basic--to/too then/than. I don't know whether to be in awe of your stream of consciousness writing or piqued at what seems to be a reluctance to read over what you have written. Anyway, thanks for the entertainment, and more please.

Now, if this is really the end then it is time to make a wish: may the humour and the jokes in the sequel story in space be more in harmony with the high IQ 's of the principal characters.

Like the story and the way Grayson and Even work on Delicious.

I hope you are going to go farther with the story.

I really like these colorful characters with all their foibles.

The yelling and arguing mode of dialog should peter off: It was cute and amusing in the "FBI guy" suite, but you, as an author, can't keep using this device over and over in all your series; otherwise it gets repetitive and I fear you'll lose some readers.

Also, someone mentioned proof-reading...it is needed.

I wonder how much moolah will be in the cookie jar for Gordon and his penny stock?

I hope that this can go on for a bit, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

I apologize P_D but I have to correct an important error of fact. George Patton did not command the Eighth Army, at that time it was fighting in the Pacific campaigns.

Gen. Patton Commanded the Seventh Army and then the Third Army.

One shudders thinking of two major league egotists such as MacArthur and Patton being stuck together in the same battle zones.

MacArthur and Halsey, Patton and Montgomery were bad enough!

Thanks! It ate up about 10 hours of time, but was enjoyed every second. With the exception of the accidental incest a fine story to read. Cheers!

i hope this is not the last chapter i love this story

Too much numbers! So you never got to the radiowaves!!!

Thanks for sharing this AMAZING STORY with us, the readers, THANK YOU. Take care of yourself. GOD BLESS EVERYONE!

Excuse me, but wasn't the name T-E-S-L-A and not T-E-L-S-A (oh, but that was only a rock-and-roll band, wasn't it)? Sorry, I am picking nits and that is not why I wanted to drop you a line, or so.

Again readers are complaining of the inconvenience of minor spelling/grammar errors. When so many people nowadays don't know a colon from an ampersand, or an infinitive from a dangling participle I am surprised by this. In the age of instant gratification I didn't know so many people cared--I stand corrected. And I hope you high-and-mighties feel so much better now (I know that I do).

The propulsion you are introducing sounds very similar, in principle, to what H.G. Wells used in "First Men in the Moon." Of course noted scientists have proven "beyond a shadow of a doubt" that the Newtonian rules of gravity cannot be broken or bent and, thus, this means of space travel could never happen. But, as we also know, science has been turned on its ear many times in the past and will continue to change as long as we exist and strive to learn more. It is inevitable.

As I have said previously, I really like this series and I enjoy the interactions of the characters. There are a lot of them moving around in and out of the storylines and sometimes it is hard to remember who said or did what. And then you introduce another character (evidently from another series of stories that, alas, I have not read) and don't really give us any background as to why Even would kowtow to her whims (I am, of course, talking about Celeste). Could you provide a bit of info for us newbies, please? Perhaps in the next chapter, or as an aside? It would be appreciated.

Anyway, the main reason I wrote is the same as always: I really appreciate the time and effort you have spent writing these wonderful chapters and I hope that they keep on coming. As long as the quality is maintained you have a loyal reader in me for the long haul. Thanks again.

Roger.

Hope you keep on writing!

I am an avid and very prolific reader,I started this story 8 hours ago in between work and an hour's drive each way I could not stop . This is the kind of science fiction that has been lacking in the last 5 to 7 years, I for one would like to read a finished series of books. I relate to one of my favorite authors lois mcmaster bujoid. And the series of books miles the early years. If you have not read them I suggest you do.

Excellent work

Please keep up the good work.

rfmc68@live.com

Keep it going, u are appreciated.

I wanted to read it again and it is missing. Please bring it back.

Peoples tastes vary. Literotica has a category for BDSM stories. A story in that category will receive no criticism from me; I simply limit my reading to areas that I find compatible with my interests and needs.

Like 'little red riding hood' I tend to feel betrayed when I discover a WOLF lurking in grandmothers night clothing. And, I am saddened when I see apropos criticism of a favored author.

You appear to use voice into text program in 'writing'. That and difficulty in teaching the program would explain the recurrent error of 'then' when you mean 'than' and also such occurrences as 'teacher' when the logical sequence would be 'teach her.' Of course the solution is proofing your work.

The vindictive banter of Delicious is now tiresome. I didn't even make it to the third page of this story. She has supposedly been with Even for three months now and she still hasn't learned? IQ 207? More like 27.... So done with the story. You do have a good plot line but I'm not going to be reading any more of your work.

Well written, humourous and intriguing. An excellent story even with American spelling :)

You always reder to lifht year as a measure of time, while it is a measure of distance refering to the distance light travels in 1 year.

You should know this fact, which is so basic as a trivial prerequisite to attempt writing science fiction.

I think the $10 fine for swearing needs to be extended to include threats of killing each other and use of the words "I hate you."

In my experience people who are close don't abuse each other verbally on a non-stop basis the way they do in this story. The insults back and forth have become as meaningless as swearing and are now just filler that I scan quickly so I can get back to the meat of the story.

Plus 1 or plus 1000 to the other Anonymous comment. The trash talk banter is cute for a bit, but you have pushed it way too far. It has become abuse between the characters. It's no wonder your book has been turned down by publishers. I doubt that you could get it up on KDP.

And these people have to work together for 10 years on sophisticated project that could put them in close quarters for much longer?

getting too long with too much of the same theme

it is TESLA not TELSA

please dont confuse light years term as its distance not time as different as km is to secs

Still going strong. I love the banter between the characters as it's based in love.

becoming redundant

Can't wait for the space storyline!

Yeah, I know this is fiction. But if it were the real world? I would grab Gray by his lapels and tell him to run, run, run as fast as he can away from Delicious. Her character may be brilliant and beautiful, but her personality is very toxic to the point of crazy. Other than that, I am interested to see where the author will take this tale. I like the use of stasis to explain the state they will be in while in space, rather than suspended animation. My brother and I argue about the difference between the two (he believes they are the same, but I argue that in space, stasis has a broader meaning).