by FinalStand
Another outstanding chapter in this riveting tale. Although the content was great, I noticed that there were a number of grammar errors and wrong words. Was this chapter a bit rushed? Are you perhaps in need of an editor? In any case, still an easy five stars.
There aren't many story tellers out there with your wit, imagination and turn of phrase. Yes, it's a bit grammatically messy but oh so worth it! Thanks for sharing.
This a very fun story. Two comments.
This would fit in the humor section. I often laugh when reading.
I still get very confused on who is who. There is an active cast of 50 people. Having a 'cast list' at the start of each story would help.
I truly enjoy reading this story. i check every day for the next chapter. something i don't normaly do. please do keep writing.
I am so glad for another chapter that I would give this a five for that reason alone. Great chapter with great details and dialogue. 5+
Thanks
But him constantly explaining why he's so amazing and enlightened every other paragraph is getting really tedious. Show don't tell man!
Thank you for the wonderful new chapter 😀.
If you still haven't heard from your editors, could you please post the next chapter unedited as well? I'm really looking forward to reading more of this story ☺.
Br,
Impatient and eager ☺
FS,
You are a wonderful writer. You have given us a another wonderful installment of this story.. Keep at it man.. I am looking forward to more chapters of this story and to HELL with the editors if they cant keep up... thank you again for your writting
I've been bantering around ideas for a 'Cast of Characters'. What bothers me is how do I update it? Is there any accepted medium on Literotica where I can publish something then update the page itself? You may assume I have the computer literacy of a grumpy Gila Monster...on an off-day.
I am reading a story on an erotic literature site simply because I like the story( I salute you FS)
Hey, FS,
As far as I know, Laurel won't post "supplemental material" as "stories" (otherwise I'd be seeing a lot of that), but there are two places on Lit I can think of where you would have instant access and the ability to update a cast of characters at your discretion: Your Bio page, or the Forum, aka "Bulletin Board" as seen here: http://literotica.com/stories (No insult intended, I'm only taking the Gila Monster comment at face value here).
I see you update your Bio page already. You can make it pretty long; I haven't yet run into a word count cap on it (though I haven't tried).
If you want to use the Forum, I'd suggest starting your own thread in the "Story Feedback" sub-forum (http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=1). It seems the best fit to me. You make the first post, stating simply it's the Cast of Characters from your story as requested by reader feedback (be sure to provide a link to your first chapter in case other forum lurkers are curious). This way the forum moderator won't move it elsewhere as "unrelated."
You can edit that first post as often as you want and it will always be the first thing anyone sees clicking on the thread. If you go too long without update it, you might have to dig for the thread again as it gets bumped down the page by new threads. The only downside is if people hijack the thread and start having a conversation/argument that has nothing to do with your story (which happens often), but you can ignore them and just update the first post whenever you need it.
The only other option is to have your own website. ;) Whatever you'd like to do. Good luck.
Awesome story... Been hanging for the next chapter for what feels like months...
You could possibly use your biography profile to keep a cast list updated. "Etaski" uses hers to keep us updated about each chapter of her story.
Regardless, keep writing, you rock...
Excellent reading material. So when are you going to finish your other stories? I'm still waiting for the next CCSC. You are so far behind in the story plot I'll have to reread the whole story again. Keep up the good work.
As my title states i enjoy reading this. In any case keep up the good work. Hope to see more.
Cael can be proud, he is realy Hungarian , his ancestors blood is still running in his veins .
I have loved this story since the beginning. As a Pagan Male, I truly enjoy it. My religion is one that is Matrifocal in it's scope, so we honor the Divine Feminine in all things. Keep up the good works. Tarry not... fight on.
Awesome as always FS! Eagerly awaiting the next, and next, and next, and next...you get the point I hope. Keep writing, we love your work!!
Great Chapter , always a great read . Keep it up .
Thanks
Tx Cracker
Who cares about a few grammar or syntax errors! I'm going through withdrawal here! I'm eagerly waiting for the next chapter. Keep up the good work, FS. Thanks for the great reads so far.
More chapters! Now!
Please? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?
In all seriousness, thanks for sharing this story. It's a beautiful work of fiction and your ability to juxtapose submission next to power fantasues while seamlessly weaving in ideological/racial intrigue is awesome, please continue!
I'm starting to really like this story. I can't imaging how it will end good, but I am hoping.
Okay, started reading this yesterday. So far really enjoying it.
Sometimes I am thrown out of the reading by word choices (mistakes?), but wow. this is good stuff.
I admit I have skipped over some of the sex stuff, but thank you for writing this.
... been awake too long... finally got those smokes tho... still reading... nothing but props so far...
I love this storey and hope you will complete it. You have a much better than average understanding of fighting styles. 1 thing I am not in complete agreement with you, is the way for a kick boxer to beat a boxer. The elbow and knee strikes should be kept ineffective, by the boxer keeping at jab range. The kick boxer needs to take time to defend and destroy the boxers base with low kicks. Then a simple win. As correctly stated, the boxer has to get into range as quickly as possible and deliver hard, accurate, effective strikes.
I'm afraid I'm not much of a fighter. I watched a few videos to give me some ideas so I could visualize what I put to page. I have very little experience in brawls and none in competitions. Thanks for your input. If you want to give me technical advice about fighting styles, by all means, drop me a line. I would appreciate the help.
James aka FinalStand
I'm like 90% sure you turned the rest of tuesday into a wednesday in your timeline. When you say Wednesdsay night, you mean Tuesday night if I'm not mistaken.
This is petty, but jumps all over my nerves. A 'clip' is a small usually metal device that stacks a number of loose rifle cartridges by it's rim in preparation for loading into a rifle that does not have a removable magazine. Such as the M1 Garand of WWII vintage. Research the phrase "Garand thumb" for a tutorial on how to properly use clips. Almost all modern weapons use a removable magazine, using a housing with an internal spring and follower to hold cartridges in the proper orientation, which works with the firearm's action to feed each cartridge into the chamber. An improvement on the basic design causes the bolt to stay open after the last round is fired - indicating the need to swap an empty magazine for a full one. This allows for reloading without having to manually cycle the bolt to chamber the first cartridge of the new magazine, instead merely press the bolt release device and the second half of the bolt's motion loads the cartridge and moves the bolt into "battery". SHAZAM! You're ready to go. The advantage is clear. Faster reload times, due to each shooter being able to carry multiple full magazines for his weapons.
Our hero here hit the nail on the head in regard as to what hi fight is all about.
Their children and the future. Cael needs to fight for the Amazon future, for without significant change they are doomed to die out, nothing surer.
Scores 5/5
To be honest, I thought the bedroom was Paradise until some ladies (I'd cheated on - surprise, surprise) tied me to one. I am sorry but how do you tie someone to a bedroom?
Much of this story was written in 2014, 2015, and 2016. The author is quite prolific, and I guess he has moved on from this tale. While the episodes would be enhanced by good editing, I do not expect it’s going to occur. So I suggest rather than being snarky, and pointing out mistakes, enjoy the stories for what they are.
If you can do better, by all means, write your own stories, and wallow in your excellence. Just know that you are demeaning yourself, while you go through the major effort to point out small mistakes in these wonderful, creative, innovative narratives.
This is a story, the author admits that he’s fast and lose with history. It’s a story and a truely complex and magnificent one. This must be my 6th time reading it. While I wish that there was more chapters to continue the tale I know it won’t happen as it’s been years since it was finished.
Thinking on it, this must have been a slow and difficult story to write. All the history references and content and then having to set scenes torso all all the witty and cutting dialog can have a place to happen.