All Comments on 'The Hotel's Hot Tub'

I'm sorry... I tried to read this, but couldn't. It was a good idea but the poor grammar and spelling mistakes messed with me too much to be able to enjoy it. If you like, Literotica has editors that can help you with those kinds of issues.

... I would have liked it two stars more if the spelling - especially the spelling - and the grammar mistakes hadn't kept getting in the way of the story.

And there appears to be a continuity problem: before she is deflowered she requires the man to put on a condom, but when he's finished she sees blood - that figures - and semen. No mention that the condom broke, if it did - and by the next morning she is happily screwing without a condom. Either you ignore the safe sex issue from the beginning, or keep the character's behavior consistent - using a condom, going bullshit if it broke the first time, so on and so forth.

I liked the fact that your character was overweight and admitted it to herself and others. The almost mandatory female figure in Literotica has big - almost impossibly big in many cases - boobs, and hips and waist appropriate to a woman with a much much smaller bust; she is almost built like Barbie. That you had the courage to create a character opposite to the approved model speaks very well. Now - get an editor who will help you clean up the spelling (this is not cheating or having a ghostwriter) but keep having your protagonist have a lot of self awareness, and you will do very well indeed.

I couldn't get passed the first page it was so bad, you need to rethink being an author.

i read the first paragraph, and found that the spelling, word selection, punctuation and grammar was so very poor that i could not read past that point. i checked your other three stories by stopping at random spots and every single sentence i read had so many mistakes that it made reading the story unpleasant.

I liked your story and felt excited by the newness of your experience. The expression of your feelings seemed very real and I liked the honesty of that. The description of your reaction to his cock entering your asshole seemed real. I was able to adapt to The unusual grammar which at times seemed like poetry to enjoy the experience.

To the person that said about the whole experience of anal sex, this is a one person story. I don't publish stories about my sex life. And to the rest of you; I warned you about the grammar and spelling did I not. I have a grammar issue as it is. I don't like it when someone takes my work and edits it which looses it focus and hurts how the Author had it in the first place.

the horrific number of horrible english mistakes turned this to shit. also theres no build up, its like i got in the hot tub and then we fucked. it made no sense.