All Comments on 'A Dear John Letter'

by likegoodwine

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  • 82 Comments
tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
MARTHA STILL DIDNT LEARN

in spite of her short comings and sins. TK U MLJ LV NV

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 9 years ago
Oh She Learned

Just a shame she can't celebrate her being forgiven in hell. Them's the breaks.

Ha

Five Stars

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
5 stars

FUNNY!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Loved it!

Funnnnny!

sugnasugnaover 9 years ago
Dark

A dark piece. Her suicide spoke about her character as much as her "affair" did. She was a selfish bitch. She cheated on her husband, and her kids. Then in a parting shot, she cheated her kids out of a mother for good. When you fuck up, you HAVE to make amends. If you do not, then you are an evil shit. She should have spent the rest of her life paying her kids and her ex back for what she did. How? If by no other way, go to work, earn money and literally PAY them. Money may be crass payback for all the pain, but is is payback nonetheless. Better than nothing or the guilt she tried to give them. Fuck suicides.

betrayedbylovebetrayedbyloveover 9 years ago
@sugna

I think you're looking at this wrong. By what she said in the letter and the tone it was in I believe she went off the deep end. She was insane and in her insanity she honored his request as to what he would need for forgiveness. He didn't even remember what he said until he smelled the fecal matter in her mouth. Sometimes to over think some of these offerings makes the reader a little crazy themselves. I know as I've read thousands and gotten pissed off way too much. By the way, no offense. I believe you have some great tales in your head. Time to let them out.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Suicide? Good grief, that both lame as fuck and unlikely.

She would have gotten custody of the kids and would probably have killed the kids then herself if history is any indication. Really, this was neither loving nor erotic and belonged in the non erotic category.

zed0zed0over 9 years ago
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING!

Laughed so hard I cried!

I'm glad to see you are finally writing some quality non-wimp stuff.

Good For YOU!

Keep up the good work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Bad. Taste

No pun intended about the taste, but the story was just too low brow and had a disgusting ending. No class at all. Totally turned me off about the smell she had on her breath

RePhilRePhilover 9 years ago
That was fun

Sometimes you just need to shake it out. This story does that! Thanks and send us another one like one of your older ones! All great stuff .... Later

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
I was with you till

the way it ended.

impo_58impo_58over 9 years ago
Some phrases...

Some phrases can't be taken literally....But a very good short story...sad as all cheating, with a sadder ending...

bruce22bruce22over 9 years ago
Certainly was an atypical reaction.

The idea was interesting but not in good taste.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
wonderful story

where in the end a spouse did what what she was asked.

KarenEKarenEover 9 years ago
Excellent!

Maybe I'm a sick puppy, and I know it's entirely unrealistic, but I loved it!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
A woman died!

Sooo funny! And she ate her own shit! Faaantastic! Just about the best I ever read. 1*

nonethewisernonethewiserover 9 years ago
Not a big fan of suicide

Dunno, maybe I am just in unfunny mood today, but suicide because of depression is horribly sad. Kids wind up feeling very abandoned by a parent that leaves them, even if those kids were mad at the parent. I like a good BTB, but i just can't get into the suicide as victory thing.

ariesgirlariesgirlover 9 years ago

Definitely went in a direction I wasn't expecting. The wife was selfish once again.

TwentysevenTwentysevenover 9 years ago
The Message

The message here is that if you are in a marriage and indulge yourself people get badly hurt. That is a sound message so you deserve our support.

Concritic123Concritic123over 9 years ago
Short, sweet and to the point.....

A true BTB story in its purest form.

RhomanovRhomanovover 9 years ago
That I didn't See Comng

Totally out of left field but good.

Well done for a letter/BTB tale.

Chuckle - I shouldn't laugh but ..... Wow!

JusttooldJusttooldover 9 years ago
good

Great ending. I wasn't expecting that.

gatorhermitgatorhermitover 9 years ago
Good flash story, but some of the comments do raise a valid point

She should have stayed with it and made up for her fuck up rather than punish everybody else. Dark, well written flash story.

likegoodwinelikegoodwineover 9 years agoAuthor
Don't read too much

Don't read too much out of this tale, it is just a joke. For many months I toyed with the idea to write a story about the famous insult: "eat shit and die". Of course, I had to include a fecal matter theme and a death, but I could't find an original way to introduce that line until one day a guy working in the next office said Dear John. For those idiots that says I wish bad bad things to women, well, she was the second woman that got killed in one of my stories. All the other victims of my bloodthirsty tendencies where males. Oh, not true, I killed a bitch in "Always Ready", that make it three female killed by my stories for eight males killed in the heat of passion. Oh my God! I am a man hater…

jasonnhjasonnhover 9 years ago
Pretty funny

Yup, dark as well but if she didn't think about the price she might pay she shouldn't have fucked around. She didn't think she would lose her husband if caught? That her family might be angry with her for being a cheating slut?

And the cluelessness extends into her suicide letter. She brags about her lover's virility. What a loser. At least we were spared an outpouring of remorse and regret from John. Her death was a spit in his face as well, another selfish act. Well, at least he can forgive her and move on since she did as he asked.

HarddaysknightHarddaysknightover 9 years ago
She misunderstood the guy!

He told her to "eat, shit, and die". She never heard the comma. It would have been so much easier to eat, take a dump, and then kill her self, and it would have been a lot neater.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
My 2 Cents

You my friend are one sick puppy lol. You thought this up during YOUR lunch hour! What do you eat for lunch??

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Funny and clever

Good job. One of the funniest stories yet.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Dull

Dull and not clever or nice.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

moie mal

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Funny

Loved HKD's alternative suggestion, with a tweak.

He could have come home to a repentant wife, who was sitting at a table with an empty food plate in front of her, a second plate that was heaped high with the contents of the previous meal after it had passed through her body, and her hair died a bright pink.

"Eat, shit, and dye."

Of course, after obeying his demands, she'd expect to be fully forgiven for her transgressions.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Ah, but for a comma...

Reminds me of the grammar joke about the Koala bear who walks into a cafe, orders dinner, consumes his meal, then gets up, draws a gun a empties it into the wall and walks out.

The maître 'd quickly goes to the encyclopedia, looks up Koala Bear, reads the entry and says, "Ah, that explains it."

One of the diners gets up from under the table and exclaims, "How does an encyclopedia explain shooting up a cafe?"

"It says right here", says the waiter: "Koala Bear: Eats shoots and leaves."

likegoodwinelikegoodwineover 9 years agoAuthor
To the dull anonymous

To the anonymous who wrote "Dull and not clever or nice", I have one advice: Courage! Acknowledging your failings leads you to redemption. You CAN heal.

LOL

Gee I wish I had these commas ideas.

honey_licker1124honey_licker1124over 9 years ago
Pretty good for a lunchtime effort.

Only found one mistake. You wrote "diner" which certainly should have been "dinner." I like the cheating wife stories, and you put enough graphic language in it to see it playing out. I gave it 5 stars on the erection meter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Completely devoid of redeeming qualities

TSIA

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
CINCO ESTRELLAS GRINGO ! ! ! ! !

THIS IS THE WAY IT SHOULD BE FOR CHEATING SLUTS !

Harry i V's Witness

chytownchytownover 9 years ago
What Did You Have For Lunch??***

Thanks for sharing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Really

Having read some of you other stories I thought you were smarter and more mature than this. Frankly, this story is insulting and undeserving of a rating.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
GREAT

GREAT

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

I've read some of your others, but this was garbage and in poor taste considering all the suicides lately.

connoisseur29connoisseur29over 9 years ago
***

Like, what the hell! She was a good woman. She did what he told her to do. Cheers!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Atlas, a decent story with a realistic ending - stupid whore. Actually, she should get credit for ending that way.

Less paperwork. Well done author for a lunch break offering.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
HA!

Man, that was great. Dark, twisted humor is right up my alley (so to speak). Thanks for the chuckle.

Jack

C_frommnC_frommnover 9 years ago
Loved the Ending

Eat Shit and Die: at least she did that for him.

thecarolinadreamerthecarolinadreamerover 9 years ago
SORRY

This is just not my cup of tea, but you should all the Anons who cut up most stories very happy.

FD45FD45over 9 years ago

Not a fan of this one.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 9 years ago
Enjoyed it

A humorous flash tale.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
I gave it five stars...

... I love twisted humor, a great short read. Thank you from the Panther fan.

DepopuloDepopuloover 9 years ago

*applause* 5/5 nuff said

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

1/5

frontlinecasterfrontlinecasterover 9 years ago

Boring, uninteresting, no real story here. And neither as clever or funny as people are claiming.

What's that? A woman dies in it? Oh! My mistake, everyone vote five stars! Take that all the actual erotica authors on this site! This is a section for bitter, lonely, sad men, not porn!

carvohicarvohiover 9 years ago
I didn't vote. Here are the things you did wrong.

You needed to proofread this about six more times. Don't be in such a hurry to post. Get an outsider to check what you write. You were writing a letter; maybe you should have stayed in either the present or the past tense.

Second, women do usually prefer poison or overdosing to a bullet or a rope. By that token more suicidal women are saved. Consider this. What if your protagonist found her before it was too late. He calls 911. She's saved. He realizes how deeply he actually loves her. She has a second chance to relive her life, and show her husband how much she truly loves him. Together they work to rebuild their marriage and their lives. Together they get to enjoy their children. She gets to reflect on the very real damage her suicide would have caused.

Why don't you pull this story off. Do a rewrite. Make it meaningful.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Different between Revenge and Consequence stories

I think the greatest revenge that an exhusband lives with other woman happier and a not dead (not killed, not suicid or accident victim) ex wife can see it. Above 35 years the good husband or mate candidates for a woman are less and less with the following time.........a healthy older man has more possibility to find a newer better younger woman and I did not talk about foreigner web dating site younger wives.

I think the Revenge Story Authors should avoid the dead cheater ex wife characters, because dead ex carachter changes the story to Consequence story. However the dead long term lover boy may be revenge......the cheater ex wife looses a future mate possibility.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
I gave it a 4...

First I wonder if the last "Anon" was anywhere close to sober when he wrote that almost pointless rambling disconnected mouthful of crap (pun intended.)

Second, I think this was a good little story, but too short--just needed a little bit more... I'm giving a "bonus point" for the fact she actually ate shit before she died! I laughed!

I agree with Carvohi that shee could've been saved by him, but not to precipitate a reunion. She needs to live with the fact that even though she did him wrong, he was a good enough man to do the right thing. His kids would think better of him and he could get the ultimate revenge of her seeing him, a man she clearly no longer deserved, with another woman, and their kids accepting her in wifey's place, knowing that she owes her very life to him.

As written, his kids can put part of the blame of their mother's death on a cruel remark Daddy made in the fervor of the moment. Bummer. It's still a good quick read. :-)

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Yawn!

Yet she still has keys to the house apparently....

Didn't "hate" it, but nothing really to like either...

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
For the lack of an Oxford comma

How different would the ending be if the Oxford comma was there: "Eat, shit, and die!"

SplitAcesSplitAcesover 9 years ago
This actually really made me think.

I believe I fall into the "you're dead to me now" camp. Realizing her true character if she were to cheat on me; I wouldn't need her to die, as she would all ready be dead to me. Now the motherfucker she cheated with...

tazz317tazz317about 9 years ago
LITERAL OR CRYPTIC

take your pick and await the outcome. TK U MLJ LV NV

BfreetorunBfreetorunabout 9 years ago
I will take a hard line here.

She deserved it for her betrayal and I hope she enjoyed her sex with the younger (15 years?) man. Possibly he had a bigger dick, too. She deserved just what she got, John should have a drink.

MorganDeWolfeMorganDeWolfeover 8 years ago
Woot! 5* FUN!

Finally a cheating slut that really gets it! Allll right, nice to see her reach an obvious conclusion and take the appropriate action. ;)

Morgan DeWolfe

Ducky7Ducky7over 8 years ago
Very funny

Great spoof on a tragedy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
there so much that....

can destroy a marriage, financial ruin, diseases, accidents, death... etc, but adultery is a conscious choice.

i used to worry in fear about what if... it happens to me?

now i smile. why?

because no GOOD marriage ends in divorce... so if my marriage ends in divorce i will know that i never had a good marriage, so i will learn from mistakes & never allow them to affect my next relationship.

dear ladies, sorry if your spouse is a no good douche bag, but if your choices end up hurting your marriage, then the effects of the choice are your responsibility. Cause & effect.

Pride, Arrogance & secrets are the cornerstone of a destructive marriage.

etchiboyetchiboyabout 6 years ago
Funny 😆

Eat...... hilarious.

Yup.BTB of the best sort.

notredame43notredame43about 6 years ago
i laughed out loud bigtime

Parody satire whatever ,, If only this one was true lol

AnonymousAnonymousabout 6 years ago
retarded way out to lunch

retarded way out to lunch

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Duh

GREAT STORY, loved the ending.

LoejtcLoejtcover 5 years ago
She was a truly hateful person especially in death

Her infidelity was a hateful act. She destroyed the love of her husband, children, family, her own reputation and untold physical and possible emotional damage to her lover.

But all that pales in comparison to the wanton selfishness of her suicide. It was clearly aimed at heaping unresolvable guilt on the very poeple she claimed to love. Her act was despicable if she was still sane. Had she become so depressed by guilt over her own behavior that she was mentally incompetent then this story becomes one of the darkest tales on this website.

In either case, other than a momentary grin at the plot twist revealed in the last line, , I hope to never encounter another story so devoid of human compassion.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
It shouldn't be but

It Is Funny. I have a nearer than most connection to real life suicide and really shouldn't find this funny as the real thing is not, it's gut wrenching and helplessly sad.

But I laughed.

PencarrowPencarrowover 5 years ago
REMINDS ME OF AN OLD JOKE

A group of journalists were at a press conference to attend the international unveiling of a new process that turned human waste into food. The marketing people and scientists from the research company were explaining how their new patented process would eliminate hunger forever, and save millions who would otherwise starve to death.

They explained how the waste was transformed into edible matter that had good nutritional value, was completely free of pathogens and harmful bacteria, and could be manufactured even at the village-level in poor countries.

The journalists and TV crews were all impressed, and could see how this new product could change the world.

“How soon before we see this product on the market?”, they asked.

"Just as soon as we can get rid of the fecal taste and smell” replied the scientists.

danoctoberdanoctoberabout 5 years ago
Omg!

5 stars for crazy. Pure crazy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

That was awesome!!!

jtwheelsjtwheelsover 4 years ago
Yes agree Ha Ha Ha

She caught she punished

Shit for shit

amygdalaamygdalaover 2 years ago

Lmao gawd they should allow you yo use emoticons on this platform..🤣🤣🤣💩💩💩😵😵😵

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

You know, I think this author should go by the pen name, “ disappointed expectation”. He really develops some great story lines, but is either unable, or unwilling to take the time to develop them. Having the wife commit suicide was a first. This story could, and should have been a a solid 5. Ending a drama such as this, with 4th grade humor, did more than ruin it. Don’t quit, the day job...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

Great, Great, Great story. It has always amazed me what some people will put at risk for some excitement and a little sexual pleasure. Do they just not think, get intoxicated over the lust. Willing in many cases to determine that losing their spouse, children, job, the disgust of family and friends and sometimes their life, is an acceptable risk for a little sexual pleasure. As I often heard “ what were you thinking “.

Les

OlgreyfoxOlgreyfoxover 1 year ago

Fucking-A-Great!!!

Diecast1Diecast111 months ago

Nice story ! AAAAA+++++

Calico75Calico757 months ago

Nice twist at the end! Very good.

AnonymousAnonymous3 months ago

Uggh. Last line was not funny. Suicide is not funny. Cheating with four trysts while worthy of a divorce, does not merit a degrading suicide. She was clearly a head case.

VanescaVanesca2 months ago

I followed everything right up until this sentence "He bent over Martha and smelled her breath." You should probably have written this in a different way because it states an impossibility. One cannot possibly smell a dead person's breath because a corpse does not breathe even in fiction. The cuckolded husband might have noticed a smear of fecal material on her face, leaned over her corpse to get a better look, and was overcome by the stench. That's just an example; you could have written something else that doesn't strain the imagination without the impossible claim of a corpse's breath. Occasionally, when pressure is placed on a dead body or it is roughly treated, air can be expelled from the mouth if there is air in the stomach or lungs; however, given the circumstances, it seems unlikely the cuckolded husband would suddenly fall forward onto his wife's corpse exerting the pressure required to force foul air from the stomach or lungs.

The stench could also have been a natural consequence of the unfaithful wife's death. When a person dies, the muscles relax involuntarily, including the anal sphincter resulting in an involuntary bowel evacuation unless the bowel is already empty.

Anonymous
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