All Comments on 'Redemption Ch. 10'

I love all your books.

Very enjoyable stories with memorable characters. Been a fan for a while.

Normally i love every single chapter u have written but idk if it was the long wait between chapters this time but i feel disconnected to this chapter.... it doesnt feel insync with what ur tryin to bring.... i felt lost n i hate that...

This is the first time i have ever found somethinh off in one of your chapters...so what im gonna do from here is reread all of redemption and see if the issue still remains... but past that chapter was well written as usual

Lucien is turning into an alcoholic. But I'm curious to see who bangs girl first, if she ever does get some.

Great job worth the wait.

So, the last chapter ended with Boy carrying Girl out from the basement of the warehouse followed by the others. This chapt opens up with Lucien striding forward after being slapped by girl to help cover he nakedness and he proceeds to take her from boy. An argument ensues and Luc loses control over his good side and manipulates the two people he loves. When he snaps out of his lapse he walks away beside himself in guilt. Boy and girl get cozy back at the apartment until Lucien finally shows up again (slightly buzzed) and snags them about to get it on. They have words, he realizes Boy is showing signs of possibly being pregnant but waits to address that. Girl just got there and he doesn't want to alienate her. When he does finally address Boys situation it kind of blows up in his face. Lucien is all about control. He wants to care for these two people but he's really fucked up inside and Boys wariness and distrust cuts Lucien deep. That's why he goes off to blow steam off away from them. I need to figure out where this chapter got disconnected from the rest of the story if someone can help me out because I'm not seeing it yeti this chapter is still the next day after they arrived on Earth. Please help me out.

I didn't feel any disconnect at all. To me, they came from a volatile situation to a little bit of normalcy, is all. It follows the normal flow and ebb of a normal conflict. If it was a normal book it would have been followed immediately with a denoument, but as it's a web fiction we will always be left as if we are putting puzzle pieces until the next chapter. But what really bothers me is Girl Rayne's total character change. I feel like this new character just came out of nowhere. And all of a sudden she has a relationship with boy Rayne, deep enough to talk about raising a child together. Not even any resentment on why he gets to keep his memories when she lost hers? or jealousy for spending time with her master? Or even display confusion on this new domestic situation. It's like she came out of a coma, a new character, and all of a sudden there's a gut-feeling of "I have to accept this man as I saved him and he forced me to a sexual situation that one time in bed while master was sleeping and now he is having his baby so now we are bussom-buddies"

But Rayne is just that desperate to belong to someone or just fit in. She's obsessed with Lucien, is fond of Boy and her race of alien makes her a nymphomaniac. Remember when she dropped to her knees before the reapers? They would've gang banged her if it weren't for Zak stepping in and frankly she WAS excited about the whole thing. But don't hate Girl for having this trait. It's built into her genetic code, selective breeding if you will by the people of her race. That's why Zak was trying to protect her. He's got daughters and the whole situation disturbs him. Which is why he'd rather Lucien took her under his wing because he can feel that Lucien would take good care of her. Luke is trying but he's got allot of stuff unresolved within him, plus the situation of an impending true appocolypse by the fallen Angels in their realm. Rayne right now is acting out--she has no Master and secretly craves one. That's just the way she is. And she wants Lucien. If she sees he's interested in Boy, then she's interested too. If you read sweet Rein (originally that's how I spelled his name) you'll see she eventually tries to get Lucien to herself, so even beyond this story they'll have their little issues to deal with. She loves Boy more like a pet or sibling than a male mate. Boy just loves her because she brings his male side pleasure, but they're each fully focused on Lucien more than anything. If anyone wants to see what they look like, there's a pic of the future cover of this book on my website. levanahyll.weebly.com

not to say that makes it boring, still very interesting read but somehow it seems like there is less continuity. But it is time for Girl to have sex! and I want her first time to be with Boy not Lucian, don't ask me why... not sure. Anywho, I look forward to the next chapter!

Reading the other comments I thought I would add in that I find Rayne to be the most confusing of all your characters, I think it's because she has been brought up on and off in the last few stories, but maybe not developed or explained as well as she could have been. Unless this is your plan later in the story, then carry on!

I think Boy is a super interesting character and I'm interested to see what happens there. Love your stories, can't wait to see where you are taking this series after all the main characters are paired up.

...always looking for the next chapter...I can only sit here and hope that's it's coming soon...

Please don't make me beg.

It's almost done, promise.

So I'm going to try something diferent IF Lit permits it. I really feel that my stories are being undermined point wise by others posting in Erotic Scifi and Fantasy so I'm going to try posting the next chapter onward in group sex/ménage. Maybe I won't step on anyone's toes there and I'll be able to really see a true score and not a manipulated one since most don't bother to comment I I have no idea how to make it any better, or what is possibly wrong. And trust me this story is so complicated it has plenty wrong with it. The story line is going all over the place because I only have two days to write each chapter and I lose the context of it. Lucien is BDSM and I have to be careful not to ofend people's sensibilities with him, but I don't want to fuck up his character. Like what happened to Devon years ago. I was stupid enough to let myself get bullied by this horrid woman who completely hated Devon and poor Devon got weaker and stupider because I allowed this person to manipulate me. Just read Dark Prince and you'll see what I mean. Half way through you just want to reach in and choke him. People tried that with Zak in W&D, protesting his Dominant side and input my foot down and kept him AS-IS. I don't want to turn my poor Luke into a pussy. But I do feel I'm losing my way with this book. And not even halfway through, I think. It's probably going to be the longest of all of them up to now so just bear with me and, seriously, help me out. I love Kaerie for mentioning her point with Lucien and even the other anon person for feeling that maybe it was something else. It helps. Trust me it lets me know I have to go back and read and re read. I wich I could take like a month off and cloister myself somewhere and work on this, but I can't. I need to work and my family demands my time. They don't support what I do so this makes it hard for me. Thank you all for your words of encouragement though. Sometimes it's all I have to spur me on when I just want to give it up altogether.

Chapter 11 was officially uploaded Oct. 19, Sunday at 10:35 pm. I uploaded it to Group Sex so you'll have to look for it there or just check in to my profile page to see where Lit finally decides to put it since they have the final word. If they accept to post it in Group Sex category, I'll be saying good-bye to the Scifi group. Its gotten a little too strange here. If not, then, oh-well, guess you'll have to put up with me after all-sorry. I'll be posting little snippets on my Alpha Angels Series Facebook page if you want a preview of chapter 11 and right off the bat I need to apologize for month long wait and the upcoming cliffhanger. Hopefully, I'll be able to post the next chapter a little sooner than this one. for some reason I was just not feeling it (the writing). We all have our ups and downs and I guess I was just very down these past few weeks. had it not been for an anonymous Lit member that wrote and asked me to please take them out of their misery, I might still be procrastinating. I'm only human after all.

Woohoo!!! Good bye Sci-fi! From now on Redemption gets posted in The Group Sex category, so mosey on over there to check out the new chapters. Hopefully it might do better over there away from the person/persons continuously voting it down. I know there's foul play because when lit catches multiple votes from the same IP address, they eliminate them. When the number of votes go down my score goes up, so someone is cheating. I have no idea what purpose this serves, but I'm just going to move my story somewhere else and hopefully that'll be the end of that, unless this person follows me over there.

I uploaded Redemption's final chapter and epilogue last night at about 2am. So I'm guessing Wednesday. Thanks to everyone who voted and commented :)

PS: it's going up in the group sex genre.

If your only method of describing a character with Asian features is to constantly have people describe him by making racist gestures, then you seriously need to work on your writing skills. Oh, and ease up on the self-pitying author’s notes, huh?