All Comments on 'Prom'

by old_and_shy

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  • 34 Comments
sabra16023sabra16023over 9 years ago
Good story

Waiting for next chapter. Thanks

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
a little rushed...but pretty good start

Though a little rushed and any real lack of both background and character development, it was hot and hope you continue with chapter 2. They need to go to the prom and rub that bitches face in their relationship and make all the others jealous. Keep up the good work and I am looking forward to the next installment and don't keep us waiting. Gave it a 5, even being rushed and lacking the development to have a solid foundation.

There being an eight year difference between them seems a little to much for this relationship to grow into anything more than just going to the prom. Stranger things have happened and it all comes down to just how far you really want to take this story and what you want to achieve with these two. Whatever you decide all I can say is this. Go for it.

girdlelovergirdleloverover 9 years ago
Nice Work!

The advantage of an "older" person writing erotica, is that they actually have experienced what they are writing about, it makes the story much more believable.

Thanks, and I am waiting for the next installment!

GL

erwangerserwangersover 9 years ago
More please

Like the others said, more would be nice. Also wouldn't mind if the characters were fleshed out more.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Chapter 2--

The Prom..and Sis's revenge on the fake GF....Hot story so far

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Loved It

I absolutely think if you're going to write a series (please do), that the siblings develop not just a fuck buddy relationship, but a romantic, loving one, it's very overdone.

One axe I have to grind is the constant "sweetie's," throw in some "honey's," "sweetheart's," or a "baby" or two to change things up.

ProfQ1955ProfQ1955over 9 years ago
Great work

This story worked for me. The fact that they were brother and sister were of no consequence in eroticism of the story. Though it made it much hotter read. Good job.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Sensational!

I've been reading many of these stories for about 12 years now and can honestly say that this ranks in the top 5. Sure got me horny as hell.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago

more chapters this one was great 5 stars

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Redundant

Okay we get it, she has big boobs. Never actually said her bra size for some reason, but saying they were so huge over and over and over was just plain excessive and repetitive.

oldwayneoldwayneover 9 years ago
Good 1st try!

Five Stars!

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Wow !

Well written and with proper grammer. Hot. Can't wait to see what she does to his former "girlfrind" at the Prom.

henrycarterhenrycarterover 9 years ago
Wow!

Yes, older is better. More please.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
i like reading stories where the sister is older and the brother is the virgin.

What the title says

dutch513nelsdutch513nelsover 9 years ago
Great first .

That was a very good story .You did a great job and I hope you are going to do more with it . Keep writing I'll keep reading .Thanks

Brett78xBrett78xover 9 years ago
Fun Read

As a freshman in college, I was dumped by a girl who thought she was out of my league. Several friends circle the wagons for me, dating me one after the other. I was a virgin (by design...waiting for the right girl) but those young ladies taught me a great deal about pleasuring women. Your story wasn't abrupt, at all. In my case, I was surprised at how quickly a couple of my young ladies open up to me. Over the decades since that first semester at school, I've pondered what motivated them to go from fully clothed, seemingly proper ladies to lust-motivated grinding seductresses. My conclusion? They trusted me; they believed in what they were doing and they trusted me. Theirs were rare gifts for which I've been very grateful. Thankfully, I've had many opportunities to pay forward the skills they helped me grow. Old&Shy, your story, as a microcosm version of my youthful experience, is absolutely believable. Thank you for sharing your insightful version of an erotic adventure.

cyberking001cyberking001over 9 years ago
confused

i'm still trying to figure out the mechanics of that prom dress -- straps, hooks, gadgets -- sounds like a do-it-yourself construction kit??? doesn't a dress just go on over her head and zip up? whats with all the straps? perhaps a manual and screwdriver from ikea would have helped the brother put the dress back together (sam)

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
More on this story please

I'd love for you to write about them going to prom and his sister dealing with the bitch who dumped him.

chytownchytownover 9 years ago
Nice And Hot Read****

Thanks for sharing. Did they go to the prom??

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
This is fun and exciting

An erotic journey of discovery.

It is time to go beyond the older sister, little brother stage and use their own names.

It's also time to accept them as young adults, not just siblings in need.

Yes there can still be the teacher and student role playing, but it can also progress beyond the shyness to fond appreciation and outright lust.

The dress construction was entertaining, I have seen dresses like that, where the straps holding it all together become part of the open back, almost like lattice work.

Now that they have taken the first step it is time for their entrance at the "Prom" with the grandest possible pomp and circumstance. Just to show what the "bet" winner actually lost.

I look forward to following where you take us/them.

mammoetmammoetover 9 years ago
Great story

I hope there wil be more chapters coming.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
well done

Very well written for the first chapter (hoping for more). I enjoyed this story even more after the description of the brothers cock......what a great idea to have him be average down there rather than once he took his boxers off this 14 inch cock flopped out out. I look forward to more chapters.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Good read

Well done, waiting for chapter 2.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Top job.

Great story, great punctuation, an very much liked the way you flipped from ones point of view to the others, cant wait to see if there is a chapter 2, maybe with them going to the prom an winding up "that bitch", honestly cant wait to see what happens. Keep up the great work.

techdittotechdittoover 9 years ago
Great Story. Please have more.

I really enjoyed this story. I really hope you do more, I want to read about them actually going to the prom and what happens afterwards of course. Long term and short term.

On a side note I'm not too fond of the perspective switching.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Good work

The whole story was really good but i would have like the perspective to switch to Brad as he climaxed in Bri. Would have like to have him describe the feeling of cumming in his sister.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
Amazing

With such a simple title, I didn't know what to expect. So glad I read it, seriously this story was good, like 10/10 good. It seemed so real, so nice and refreshing. You refrained from any of the fake bullshit. This story is a perfect mix between fantasy and reality. I can say I would be both baffled and dissapointed if there are no future chaters to come. *hint hint*

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
great but what about prom

Where is the rest of the story. What happen at prom if he even went

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
how old did you make him

How old was this boy story said he was 18 but you wrote him like he was 12 trust me by 14 I may have been a vergin but you put a woman nude beside me I would have went nuts he would have only acted like that at the age of 18 is if he had down syndrome

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
Great Story!

You're off to a great start on this! I really enjoyed it: 5 stars.

1. I definitely agree that the story is much more believable when he has a 6-inch cock and not ten or twelve or the other porn-film horrors.

2. After all they've been doing to generate and exchange bodily fluids, the idea of his taking just one tissue to clean up is just silly! Tissues stick to you anyway, like wall paper. Surely they need a couple of towels by that point! (You're not the first writer on this site to commit this absurdity. And I realize that there are people who don't actually want to get "clean" after sex---but they don't really need to wipe off at all; just air-dry until they get crusty.)

3. Some comment asked for more description of the sensation from the guy's perspective. OK, but I think that's the hardest part (sorry!) of writing erotica. Men and women have such different fundamental attitudes about it. I'm a man, and I find it very difficult to write about it from a man's perspective, let alone a woman's viewpoint. For example, there are no words to describe the feeling of being inside a woman's body for the first time. It's a feeling to die for; a thrill you never forget; but trying to describe it sensibly is beyond the power of words.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Too Short

You need to either amend this story or add another story with them at the prom. The astonished look on the face of the girl who played with his emotions and those of her friends as well as the looks of envy on the faces of the males who would no doubt have joined in on the ridicule would have made he story much better.

linnearlinnearalmost 3 years ago
Marvelous

I loved it but does the dress fit and I want to know how prom goes.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Wonderful start to what should be a marvelous story of discovering a lifetime of true love. Prom would be a great next chapter, but not the only other chapter.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

That was a good read and a nice story about siblings actually caring. Refreshing compared to the complicated over done stuff you see anymore

Anonymous
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