by Knobgoblin
Brilliantly written and a pleasure to read. The next instalment with 2 couples should be interesting.
But I will tell you also well written. Hot sexy story. love to be turned on reading great detailed stories. thank you look forward to reading more ....
A few points. First, learn about punctuating quotations. Next, it seems to me that young Eleanor had a very abbreviated mourning period for her parents, and she progressed from inexperienced young woman to super hot, multi-orgasmic lover at warp speed. Everything was just too pat. As for conflict, those rapacious Christians were quickly vanquished. And now the starry eyed newlyweds are embarking on mate swapping! Not too likely. Good luck on your next effort.
A very well written story with more than just sex as a plot. Hope you'll have more for us to read from a very good story teller.
Was it a quick transition? Sure, but then she had a crush on him for years. She obviously paid attention to the Spice Channel. Is it this way every time? Nope. Is it probable? Nope. Possible? Sure, and besides, this is fiction. You write your tale your way, in your voice. Listen to constructive criticism and leave out the rest.
Anony Mouse did have a valid point on your editing, but then if you read my stories you will find worse. :-)
I will sign mine.
All the best,
Callicious
then quickly went down the toilet....wife swapping and all that shit just did nothing to help the story...pity as it had some good parts to it....
Have to agree about the swapping. seemed a bit much.
overall a solid 4 stars
I tried to give this a 5, but was only able to register a 1 :( .Really well written and I enjoyed this very much.
Began well, but some of the sex scenes ruined it. Pushing into her cervix? Really? That does not and cannot happen. If you’re going to write about things that you’ve no experience of, please at least do some research into how a woman’s anatomy actually works. This really let the work down, and reduced my vote to a 3 from what would easily have been a 5. Maybe get a lady to proof read and edit your work, as this would also help to remove a lot of the punctuation and spelling mistakes