All Comments on 'Factors of Change Ch. 05'

Now I will begin the agonizing wait for the next chapter but it will be worth it.

btw great chapter I look forward to reading more

I love this story. Gabriel is so understanding. In addition, I think that it was important that she heard William's story as it was clearly unexpected. I don't know how much longer she could have gone on with her continued and constant doubts.

P.S. - I am also a teacher so I can definitely understand not wanting to stay up past midnight anymore. I don't think that I have seen my pillow before 11pm since the end of July.

Finally...Leah has an understanding as to what is going on. Gabriel is a good guy for being patient and understanding but how much longer did she expect him to wait on her. He probably would give her all the time in the world and then some.

I wonder if Leah would be as understanding as Gabriel if it was him in her shoes. That she be something else for Leah to think about. She is just as capable of hurting him just as he can hurt her. They won't intentionally hurt each other but it happens. Leah is learning which is good, hopefully she won't be to afraid to get advice when she need it in the future.

Can't wait till the next chapter!!

I wake up this morning with a mug of tea and head to my computer to write...and what is this!? Another chapter to one of my favorite authors! Or is it authoress? Hmmm...the subtleties of language were never my strong point, maybe I should have paid more attention in school?

Anyway, very much like this chapter. Loved the inner struggle, was really able to appreciate the issues that Leah was feeling. Novel concept on the approach of the "wolf" side of the personality. The way you included the backstory and also William's back story that was well thought out.

This whole story is shaping up to be very different than most that are on her. You are definitely origonal. I await your next chapters with anticipation.

Sincerely, PB.

An excellent chapter. Clear, concise explanation of her wolf side that she was never in a position of learning about before. Nicely done.

This story keeps getting better with every chapter! I like how you've used the wolf as a metaphor for a person who has never found acceptance and as a result has found it hard to accept herself and commit to others. It looks like she may be turning a corner and things may start getting better for her and Gabriel - who, I guess has had to fight through the same issues, but has prevailed. I think he can giver her what she wants in life, if she can just bring herself to trust him and herself.

I did have a brief moment where I had to go back to Chapters 1& 4 to refresh my memory. I know how hectic your life can be at this time of year (I am very close to a teacher and I have come to dread September!). One suggestion: if you think there will be longer lag between chapters, include a paragraph or two at the beginning as a synopsis of what has happened, just to remind the reader. Other than that, this has been a terrific story and I look forward to Chapter 6!

Truly one of the best stories I've read in a very long time. Excellent job!

So many college students like myself start books and then never come back. This is a great book. I need books like yours to help me take a break from studying and essays, the stress and whatnot, and so do YOU. You know you have writing skills, look at the positive feedback, just please don't become one of the authors who say 'fuck them, I have a life'. We know you have a life, but just try to remember about this book and your fans who want you to finish it, Ok? Alright, ill be waiting for the next chapter....

I can't wait to read your next installment... I love how you described the wolf inside her mind. This is one of the better takes I have seen on werewolves. Please write soon I want to see how they work out.

To: Please Don't Fall Out

MarieLyne is a very gifted writer and I want to tell her Thank You for doing so with her busy life.

You on the other hand are an incredibly self centered, whiny college student. "Grow Up"

Your story is good but could be stronger...for example,

(1) in the weres world, leaders of any pack tends to live for 100s of years....and to give Gabriel an age of 63 human years, be elected a leader of a pack is unrealistic because he wouldn't be have accumulated truly sufficient experience in the wolf world to really lead a large pack. Had you you give him and age of, say, 163, instead, then he would have learned enough wolf histories and would have enough time to have proven himself capable of leadership...after all, he is a turned wolf too...

(2) There must have been someone, another Alpha, in the original pack who seen his leadership qualities but who has no heir, and yet chose Gabriel because of his potential qualities, and be his mentor....even though there might be opposition, yet this mentorship would also be seen as an endorsement of that Alpha, and so it legitimized his election as a leader (90% nonetheless). No one will just give loyalty to a turned wolf just like that. In the regard, would have made your story stronger if you could add some info in this respect.

(3) For an unwillingly turned were like Leah, and if Gabriel chose her to be his mate, there need to be somewhere in the story where he teaches her to defend the pack and many other kinds of pack leadership skills expected of an Female Alpha. You have not touche these aspects of the story, other than just feelings of love. Suggest you read "Bound to my mate" by Doctorwolf or Jazcullen's Vampires/Wolf series. These two authors took many many things into consideration in writing their stories that as a reader, I found it mesmerizing, spellbinding, exciting and unable to stop reading again and again and again. I feel like I am in the story itself many many times, and even wish I am in it too. That's the sort of power-pull you want to affect your reader with....Good luck hope u will keep these in mind in the follow up of this series.

I've just found your series today and am absolutely in love.

I love animals and to be able to read something about werewolves or anything of the sort brings me great pleasure but when its something so well written and has so much detail and must so many different things ugh!

I'm so excited to read more from you ! (:

I just love your story, it really captures the audience. I feel like the longer waiting for each chapter is actually a good thing because it means better quality writing and not just words put onto a page to get something done. And ignore all others that say you need this or that in your story to make it better. It's your story and no one else's that's the unique thing about writing, especially a werewolf story, you do not need to go by the "book". I know there's more chapters after this and this story so far is going at a great pace. There's no need to cover every topic of a werewolf story within the first five chapters, there are (hopefully) so many more to come. Your story is so unlike any others and it makes it special, it makes it stand out within the sea of faceless covers. Keep up the great job, you really have a knack for writing.

You are doing a great job crafting an imaginative and entertaining story that is well written too. I've noticed some of the comments you are getting are from readers who expect every were story to follow the usual formula most writers on this site use, but since you are deviating from the norm and creating your own werewolf world, it is throwing those readers off. You can't please everybody, so might as well stay true to your vision of the environment you are creating and please yourself. As long as you keep describing your werewolf world, the majority of readers will be able to follow it and go with the "different" flow. If readers want the usual domineering 150 year old alpa who practically kidnaps and forces his 18 year old human girl to mate and turn into a werewolf, there are thousands of those stories here to choose from. I was looking for something new, which is what you have going on here. Thanks.

Yves

I would love to give Yves five stars for her comment she said everything I would have said. I Love this awesome tale and this is my second read through while I wait for the next installment...which will be soon I hope..

Willie

Great job! i am completely binging on this and i am sure i will have a sad feeling when i reach the end and ruin another wonderful story. keep up the good work i will check the other writings you have on here when i am done cause if they are as immersive and dare i say addicting, as this then i can see much procrastination in my future.

Perfect.

I love how you show a great understanding of psychology, and apply it to the werewolf situation to make the story so real.

Why am I crying? Literal tears dripping down my face. This isn't even sad.

I hate being so freaking emotional.

You have the ability to raise a spectrum of emotions in the reader, and describing Leah's internal conflict realistically. I am really looking forward to when she's with her mate again.

I also really do appreciate and enjoy the language being polished. Namely, it feels odd to read texts written by some native speakers, knowing that I could handletthe grammar, even choice of words better, although it is only my 3rd language.