All Comments on 'Naughty in the Kitchen'

I actually thought it was a fish, at first. For it to be a pumpkin was a riot of a result.

Perfectly executed. A brilliant tale. I love it.

Wonderfully done. Took me till almost the end to figure out it was a pumpkin.

You were laughing maniacally the entire time you were writing this, weren't you? So dark and foreboding and then shove that knife in one more time with the ending! Buwahahaha! What a great tale for the Halloween contest and worthy of more than five stars.

I love that you tagged this as Erotic Horror, too. Even better on the second read-through.

"Snuff" story indeed. Fun read.

Oh very crafty, very clever indeed! Hehehe! I was reading along at first going,"Dang, this is some House of 1000 Corpses s**t right here!" Then when you wrote: "As innocent as I was. Before they took me. Cut me. Broke my wet flesh open and spilled seed upon the table in riotous abandonment." then I wised up. :D

you magnificent bastard lol you got me good :P

I sniffed out the ruse pretty early--it's hard to set the ground work without styling your language a particular way--but that did nothing to lessen my enjoyment of the story. This is clever, amusing, and perfectly themed. It is that last part, especially, that earns extra points with me.

If there were ever an "example" on the front of Lit showing what the Halloween contest is all about, this would be a good pick.

Okay...okay...freaked me the hell out for the first few paragraphs. Started to have weird flashbacks to that Hansel and Gretal story you did that gave me nightmares for a while. Then I started to get it, but still was horrified!

Then began to laugh with my nerves still singing with the shock. Oh you have an imagination rivaled by very few! You get a 5 for this one buddy!

Sincerely, Payenbrant

I wasn't sure i wanted to keep reading at first, but you left me smiling at the end, I understand your wife's worries. Good luck in the contest. :)

Your wife worries for good reason, friend. I spent half of the story trying to figure out what the holy hell you had written. Most of my guesses revolved around chickens and pigs, but the "seed" line was the giveaway.

Still, awesome in its ingenuity.

wow haha i didnt get it until the very end when i read the comments and it make much more sense now and its awesome...and to be honest, i thought u were talking about people before but nevermind :) great job!!!

Why was I sure they were lobsters for the longest time? Ha! So clever! And the perfect length for such a perfectly crafted little story. Run, children!!!

I really really like this. Short. To the point. But so much going on in this story.

I love what the POV characters turned out to be. I'm not sure there's more of an iconic character FOR Halloween than the ones you used. That was pretty clever, and very much in spirit of our contest.

...But you already knew that.

My favorite aspect? Well, it's been very briefly touched on, but to me it was the highlight. Even past the clever reveal of the speaking character. There was horror to this. Real, appalling, horror. As we start, you bait the hook with such an extreme set of visuals and occurences that it has everyone... everyone covering their mouths. "Jesus... these people are monsters... why are they doing this... this person has to watch them fuck after being tortured... and it's not over...."

That kind of shock and horror was not lost on me. And it's very evident with other people that have commented. It may have been a ruse, but in those early stages of the story, you basically had people squirming. Wondering if they should read on and view the depravity. Even if those feelings were for mere minutes, they were there, and they were very real, for everyone. That, is a genius way to inject real horror into a harmless story. After all, it is all about feeling, right?

This accomplished so many things, so well, and so skillfully, in a single bite sized sitting. Theme, emotion, hook, twist, and an iconic Halloween narrator... yeah it was all there I think.

Great Halloween story.

Short but effective. Made me squirm for a little bit there. Deserves *****. Good luck!

Very well done. Twisted and fun as Halloween is supposed to be. Good luck in the competition.