All Comments on 'Shipwrecked'

Being new to Lit. is fine, as far as i'm reading there's the now-and-then need for a grammar/spell check, but the character's have some depth and the story is interesting. Keep working on it friend.

Nice story, good depth and a pleasure to read.

A few minor issues, all you need is a mentor.

Keep up the good work!

The sea monster is KRAKEN the ships like walnuts.

Seriously, though, you can write, but do need a bit of an assist. For example, in the paragraph where they are talking in the lifeboat:

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"He had never really found anyone. [New paragraph here] Rachel was a little hesitant to continue; what if he doesn't feel the same way about me?"

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When beginning dialog, even if it is preceded by lead-in words, it should be capitalized. And, such dialog doesn't need to be forced into paragraphs by themselves. Using the text above, this is how I would have separated these paragraphs.

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"Look I've been thinking, I don't want to get rescued and find myself pregnant. I remember we didn't use a condom the other day."

At this Jason nodded, then replied, "Yeah, I was thinking about that, too. We can still have sex. I just can't finish inside you."

At which she smiled, then with that look in her eye again said, "I was hoping you would say that!"

Throwing aside the blanket, she carefully positioned herself over him, her pussy already wet with anticipation. As she impaled herself on his erect penis Jason groaned.

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See what I mean? A few, minor editing fixes. When you change focus and/or dialog from one person to another, you need a new paragraph. By no means am I a grammar expert, but look at how the paragraphs are split, and the minor changes to punctuation.

I imagined her with a Lowlands accent and him with maybe a Midlands. Keep at it, and do your best to find someone. It can take a while, and people do it for free, so don't give up, be persistent. Best of luck. Story is jammy.

I didn't think anyone would read my story, this is certainly a pleasant surprise! Yeah you guys are totally right; I really don't have a clue when it comes to dialogue paragraphing XD I will most assuredly look into that, thank you guys. I have a passion for writing, but not usually the erotic kind. This was just a story I wrote for my girlfriend a while back. I had been reading a lot on this website and thought I might as well give it a little touch up and upload it for fun! But now I'm considering writing more... In the meantime, hope you guys enjoyed, and thanks again for the awesome support!

Imagery and character development are both good and the storyline is excellent... you could easily add another few chapters to this. I particularly like the plot twist at the end. Hope you'll carry this further.