by Redvampy ©
He is near me. I know this as well as I know my own name. He may not be in the room with me, but I know that He is near. He can hear everything that I say and knows everything I do, even something as insignificant as taking a breath, He hears me.
How long have I been here? I don't know.
I don't know...it seems like it has been forever since I stood on my own two feet. He wouldn't leave me here for weeks by myself...would He? I hope not...I'm so afraid. I cannot see...I cannot tell what time it is or even what day it is. Have I slept at all? Dozed? Did I pass out at some point? I wish He would return...I don't like this darkness...strange things happen in the dark. Is it dark outside or is it daylight? How long have I been here? I can hear Him now. He is closer to me than before, and yet He stays so far away.
Was it something I did to make Him angry with me? Or is He simply playing with me? I wish He would return...I'm so thirsty. A nice cold glass of water would be heaven right now. Feeling the cold liquid slide down my throat, quenching this thirst that has been haunting me for days. Or has it only been hours? I can almost feel it against my lips, almost taste it against my dry lips, wetting them deliciously. But where is He? Is He here with me? Is He watching me?
What was that? A noise! Was it in the room with me or was it outside the room? Was it Him, standing close to me, poised with His hand ready to touch me? Is that His hand close to my skin? Is that His breath I feel against my face? It is Him or is it another He has brought here to see His pet hanging from the wall, on display like a fine piece of artwork? A simple decoration?
My wrists are aching from the restraints against them. The leather had been so soft when He first placed it around my wrists and hung me here, but now the same leather is grating against the tender flesh. It holds me here for hours on end, against the cold stone of the wall. Or has it been days?
I wish I knew what time it was. I don't remember how long I have been here....my sense of timing is gone. I know at some point, I must have either passed out or slept because I can't remember big gaps of time. I have lost sense of most of my body, except my arms and legs. My legs went numb hours ago...days ago?
I only know that I cannot feel them any longer. They are heavy, and yet at the same time, weightless.
WAIT!! There it is again!
That noise is back. It's definitely in the room with me...but I can't tell what it is. It sounds cold...and dangerous. Like the darkness that I have been suffused in for so long. Cold, dangerous and unknown. I don't like this darkness. It frightens me horribly.
I wish He would return...I wish He were here with me, removing the blindfold from my eyes so that I might look up into His eyes and tell Him how much I love Him and how I bear this only for His pleasure. I dare not cry out to tell Him this...it might anger Him even more than He is now and that would be disastrous. Or would it give Him cause to release me from my bonds? Would it give Him pleasure to hear me whimpering for release...to hear me cry out for Him and His touch? Would it please Him to know that I am broken and that I have waited here for Him and Him alone? I wish I knew....
I can feel a scream coming up inside of me. I know that I cannot scream...I cannot anger Him. But I have been here for so long that I cannot tell which would please Him more. My pain or my love for Him? I want to scream and to whimper for Him. I want to tell Him of my submission and how it is all only for Him. I want to beg to be released from these restraints. But I know that to do so would be to bring shame to Him in front of His guests, if any are there.
I don't know what that noise was, but it is gone now. Or is it only Him, standing before me, waiting for me to relax before making the noise again? Is He standing there, watching me struggle with myself? Watching me struggle against these bonds which hold me so cruelly and yet so lovingly at the same time? Is He close enough to touch me or is He on the other side of the room? Is He even in the room with me? I don't know....
I think I can hear His breathing, but I can't be sure. Is it Him or is it only my own breathing echoing through the room? I can feel the sweat rolling down my body, making me sticky. I wish I could bathe. When was the last time I bathed? I know that it was just before He placed me down here, but how long ago was that? I feel sticky and sweaty...not really dirty yet...just a fine layer of grime.
I wish I had a cool cloth to wipe my forehead and chest. Just a cloth to rub across my hot, sticky flesh and make me feel cooler. Feeling Him close to me, running that cool cloth across my body. I know that I would orgasm from just His touch, even hidden behind the cloth. Simply from His nearness to me, caressing me and loving me as only He can.
He is here....in the room with me! I can smell Him in the air. His cologne, so musky and sweet is heavy in the air. Or is it just my imagination? Could I have been here for so long that I can imagine His very scent? I don't know....no....He IS here....I wish.....I hope its not my imagination...is it? No....is that not a warmth next to my breast? His hand perhaps, ready to reach out and touch me...is that not His breath I feel against my face? It is so warm, I couldn't imagine that.......could I? Was that movement? A footstep? I think it was....I think He is here with me. I think He has been watching me, hanging from this wall, my arms going numb from being left here alone against this wall.
My legs went numb hours ago....or was it days ago? All I DO know is that my legs went numb a long time ago and that my arms are soon to be joining them. The feeling of pins and needles began a long time ago also and now they are beginning to fade. Perhaps if I counted silently, I could keep track of how long I have been here. No...its better that I not know....I think knowing would make me crazy. Should I cry out, let Him know that I feel His presence? Would that please Him?
Why has He left me here for so long? Does He wish to only have me decorate His wall for His guests? I can hear more than one person around me...in the room with me. Or is it only Him, moving swiftly throughout the empty room, using the echo of the room to His advantage? Trying to make me think there are more people here than He? Would He do that to me? Leave me here, alone and waiting for Him while others gazed upon me? I can't hear anyone talking...not even in whispers. I know that I would hear whispering...wouldn't I? I think I can hear His breathing again.....He has moved away from me again. Or is it only my own ragged breathing coming back to trick me?
Wait!! There is that noise again!
What is it? Its driving me crazy. It sounds like something long and hard being dragged across the cold stone floor of the basement. Is it Him, watching me again? No....no...it's definitely NOT a footstep. It sounds more like...like a whip that is being dragged deliberately across the floor....doesn't it? But why would He have a whip? Does He intend to whip me for His pleasure? Or is He only tormenting me? Waiting to see my reaction to the noise?
What should I do? Should I let Him know that I hear Him? Would it make a difference in His reaction to me? Probably not...I've belonged to Him long enough to know that my reaction is insignificant unless I am REALLY hurting.
My arms are totally numb now. The pins and needles feeling left a while ago and now all I feel is the same heavy weightlessness as in my legs. Maybe if I lean forward, I can bring the feeling back into my limbs. But no...if I do that, I'll end up with pins and needles again and I don't think I could handle feeling that again. Not without knowing how much longer I'm going to be here. He may leave me here forever and then I would have to endure the numbness again....
He wouldn't leave me down here forever.....would He? He wouldn't do that to me....or at least I hope He wouldn't. I'm so hungry. When was the last time I ate? What was the last thing I ate? Was it the lasagna last night or did I have breakfast this morning? When was the last time I had something to eat? Or to drink? I can't think....my arms are so numb and my body aches from hanging here. Was it really last night that I ate? Or has it been longer? I don't know...No, it can't have been that long or else I would have felt hungry before this...wouldn't I?
Was that a light? Did the room just get brighter? I can't tell, not through the blindfold. But I think it did just get brighter. And that would mean that He is here with me!! If the muscles in my face didn't hurt so much, I would smile. But my lips are so dry and parched that if I tried to smile, I think my lips would crack and bleed. God, what I would do for a glass...no, a SIP of water right now? To feel that liquid wet my lips...my tongue feels so heavy and grainy inside my mouth. Could I die of dehydration before He comes back down here? What if something happened to Him while He was upstairs? What if no one ever comes down here to find me??
Stop that....I can't think that way. He would never let something like that happen. I'm NOT going to be left down here forever...am I?
Oh God...a breeze! That was definitely a breeze!!! It felt so cool against me...and it was so close. That means He is here....close to me. Was that cloth that just rubbed against my leg? Yes.....yes it was cloth. Something cool and smooth...like silk. It feels so soft and comforting. I think I'm going to cry. I can feel my eyes watering and my throat feels tight.
But I can't cry...I WON'T cry. That would make Him think that I was unappreciative of His love for me. No, I won't cry....but that material felt so good. He is here...I can really smell Him now....so close to me. The lavender of His cologne and the musky scent of Him when He is near.. GOD He smells so good....so sexy....Is that His hand? Yes....ohgod...yes...it is His hand...touching me...His fingers are tracing the outside of my thighs...
He is touching me...really...really touching me. My voice sounds so strange to my ears. I don't care if He leaves me up here forever. I can't stop myself....I can feel the dampness of my orgasm pouring out of me and running down my leg, making my thighs slick. His hand feels so good, so warm. So tender and loving...just like I knew it would...my lips are so dry it hurts to talk and my throat feels like raw sandpaper.
"tha....thank Y....You.....thank You, my Lord.....I love You and belong to You.....totally......I love You....thank You"
I'm crying...I know I am. I can feel the salty wetness of my tears sliding down my face; the same as the nectar of my passion that is running down my thighs and calves. I can't stop myself...I may cry forever. He is so loving...His hands upon my sex...bringing me to another orgasm...His fingers sliding deep inside of me...caressing me from the inside...
I'm going to have another orgasm...oh...it hurts my muscles...but it feels so good. I can't feel anything except His hands on me...in me...the fingers of one hand caressing the aching lips of my sex as His other finger gently rubs and pulls the sensitive nub of my clitoris...sending my mind reeling. His love is flowing into me like a river...my passion spilling out of me. I cannot help but scream...I love Him...I need Him ...love...need...Lights are exploding all around me....black lights. I love Him...NNeeeedd Yoouu. Oh god...I've gone crazy.
My neck is killing me and my head feels like there is a weight attached to it. How long ago did I pass out? Or was it sleep? The pins and needles are back. Was He really here or did I imagine it all? I can't smell Him anymore...But...He is near me. How long have I been here?
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