Train Wreck of Emotions

Train Wreck of Emotions​

Tabitha sat there feeling a bit rejected, hurt and confused. She'd done all she could to fit in to her husband's life. She struggled to become the perfect image, the model from the magazines that he took photos of. But now after several years, she still felt useless as well as unworthy. He'd gone out again, telling her not to bother even trying to get ready for the dinner party. She wasn't going to find anything to make her look nice anyway.

She looked at the ticket in her hand and knew she was going to do it. She was going home and not looking back. She'd slink into town with her tail between her legs and then quietly divorce him. She wasn't worth much to him any way, wasn't worth much to anyone really. She brushed back the long thick mane of burgandy and gold curls until her face was free of the loose strands.

“Ticket please,” the porter called to her. Tabitha looked up and sighed.

“Now or never,” she told herself. With a look of determination in her eyes, she handed the gentlman her ticket and watched him tear it, offer her the half she was to keep, and then he walked away. Her eyes turned back to the window and she waited for the train to begin the journey home. A journey she was both thrilled and scared to make.

“What will mamma say?” she asked herself. “She told me I couldn't change, that it was pointless to be something I wasn't... what will she say when she sees that she was right again?”

A tear fell from the gray eyes that were tinged with silver. “Good bye Thomas,” she whispered, kissed her fingers and touched the glass just as the train pulled out of the station. “A new adventure,” she told herself as she turned back in her seat and looked over the crowd of travelers. As she sat there she began to weave stories in her head for each one, wondering if perhaps she was right about any of them.

Looking at His watch, cursing, Pete Harris looks out of the window toward the Train Station looming in the background.
"Can't you go any faster Driver, I have got to catch a train?!" he urges.

With a squeal under brakes, Pete throws a twenty at the Cabbie and jumps out and sprints for the station.
"All aboard" calls the Train Guard and Pete runs onto the platform and dives in between the closing doors of the train,
"Dammit!" he mutters as he drops his briefcase. Retrieving it, he finds an empty seat and settles himself down for the two hour journey home.

He looks up to survey his surroundings, and notices a few of the other passengers. An old retired couple were chatting and putting the World to rights, a young lad, no more than sixteen years, by Pete's guess, was staring out of the window chewing gum, and a woman of long blonde hair, aged, at a guess of mid-thirties, sitting alone and gazing out of the window.

"Ticket please Sir?!" Startled, Pete looked up to see the Porter standing over Him, hand out-stretched.

"Huh?" Pete responded absently,
"Sir I need to see your ticket!" The Porter replied, a little more sternly,
"Oh yes, forgive me, I was miles away" Pete apologised showing Him the valid ticket. Pete glanced back at the Blonde Lady and felt a smile appearing on his face, not a big smile, more of a raised corner.

He opens his case and pulls out a newspaper, and starts reading as the train departs the Station. Checking his watch, he leans back and starts to read.

Her mind drifted from the small lad that was tugging on his mother's arm sleeve to the loud voice of the Porter. Her eyes glanced at the man that looked somewhat confused and uneasy. For a moment she thought that perhaps he'd forgotten his ticket, but after a more stern command, she watched the gentleman produce one. It wasn't long before the Porter left their car and continued to the next. The train shifted as it pulled faster along the tracks and her eyes rested on the man's for a moment.

She blushed softly as she noticed his small and she imagined it to be one of genuine appreactiation for herself, but she knew the truth, or at least the truth that her husband told her. Her eyes moved away from his as she saw him return his attentions back to the paper. She looked out the window and watched the city disappear. Her trip would take at the most four hours and she wondered what will happen when she gets there.

Tabitha's thoughts carry her to the past and she remembers the bliss that was her marriage in the beginning, but just as swiftly she remembers the pain, the hateful words, and the hours she spent trying to please him. She pushed back her gold curls that were awashed with the dye job he'd insisted she get. It needed refreshed. Her natural blonde coloring was emerging again, and the burgandy red that he told her to use was wearing out. She lifted her curls, stared at them, and ran her fingers over them. They were far from the silkiness that the women behind his camera were. She suddenly looked over the passengers, realizing she was far from lovely, even the mother with the baby drool on her blouse was more beautiful then she.

She rose from her seat to move to one of the ladies rooms and in so doing she lost her balance tumbling into the gentleman and his paper. “I'm very sorry,” she told him, quickly rising, steading herself and looking down at him. “That really was a trip, not some casual way of picking you up.“ She smiled softly, nodded her head and proceeded to leave then stopped. “My name's Tabitha, may I sit with you.”

She wasn't sure what had caused her to approach the gentleman, just seconds before she was going to go to the ladies room, have a good cry and feel sorry for herself, and now here she was telling the man she wasn't coming on to him, yet in the next sentence wanting to share a space with him.

“I ummm... would like to see the scenery from that side of the train,“ Tabitha thought how lame that sounded, but she didn't care. The man had a nice smile, she was bored, and she wasn't worried he'd make a pass at her. Her husband had told her often enough how lucky she was to have “landed” him out of all the other women he could have married. She waited patiently for him to either allow her to scoot into the seat beside him, or to blow her off as some pitiful female looking for company.

As the train thndered along, going through tunnels and over bridges, Pete felt it was gathering speed. He had his paper turned to the Classifieds Section, but, even though he was looking at the ads that were placed, he wasn't taken anything in, his mind was on his Car companion sat across from him. What was Her story, he found himself thinking. Smirking he tried once again to bloch the Woman out, and concentrate on his paper.

He then noticed the woman rising from a seat, just as the train began to slow. This caused the Woman to lose her balance and fall onto Pete, crumpling his paper in doing so,
"'m very sorry,” she told him, quickly rising, steading herself and looking down at him. “That really was a trip, not some casual way of picking you up.“
Pete smiled at Her, noticing that her cheeks were reddening with embarrasment. This was the first chance Pete managed a good look at Her. She had a fine figure, an hour glass shaped, he thought. Size 10, perhaps a small 12 he guessed.
“My name's Tabitha, may I sit with you?”
"I'm sorry?" Pete said unaware that she spoke,
“My name's Tabitha, may I sit with you.” she repeated,
"Err, well, sure why not" Pete replied with a smile. Pete stood up,
"My name is Pete, Pete Harris, and it is indeed a pleasure to meet your aquaintance...err........Miss?" he said reaching out his hand,
"Err.."Tabitha stammered, "Tabitha, just call me Tabitha" she continued extending Her hand. Pete took her hand, and noticing the warmth and softness of it, planted a soft kiss on her palm,
"Please sit" he suggested.
"So" "How..." they both spoke at once,
"Please you first" Pete said kindly with a smile,
"No you go" Tabitha responded, her face blushing once more,
"So where are you headed?" Pete asked, folding his paper and returning it to his briefcase......

Tabitha grinned back at him thankful for the opportunity to speak with someone real for a change. How long had it been since she just talked like Tabitha, where the walls of snobbish socialite was dropped and she became the woman she was before her husband and molded her into something he never could see as perfect.

“I’m going home,” she told him. The train shifted as it took to the rails, finally at its top speed. People walked past, children sniffled, cried and some sat quietly with their eyes glued to the screen of the newest handheld video game. Her voice was drawn back to his, when he continued the conversation. She was surprised that he'd find her interesting enough to chat with her, but she welcomed it.

“Home?” he asked. “Where is home?” His eyes looked as if he really was interested, so Tabitha found herself more then happy to continue sharing a small bit of herself with him.

“Lincolnshire. I have family there and I haven’t seen them in a long time.” She thought of her mother, her father long lost to her. Her brother would be there, as would her little sister. Each one of them lived the perfect life, each one was the apple of their spouses eye and now here she was going home from her rich city life with her tail between her legs, admitting defeat.

“I see. Are they expecting you or is this a surprise?” His voice pulled her back to him. She blushed due to her wondering thoughts and focused on nothing but him for the moment.

Tabitha bit her lip, looked down at her skirt, and toyed with the non-existent lint. “It is a surprise,” she told him, her voice quiet and reflective. She shook off the feeling, knowing he sensed it, but she wished not to discuss it. She only wanted to talk. He never let her talk, he always told her she had nothing of importance to say.

Her eyes glanced at the paper, noted what he’d been looking at and she eyed him curiously. “I see you’re reading the Classified. Unemployed or hoping for a change?” She knew she was being noisy, but what did it matter, she’d never see him again. She never see this town again, at least not unless she was forced to take the train back for the divorce.

As Tabitha took the seat next to Pete, he took the opportunity to check her out. Long flowing skirt, tight top accentuated her round cleavage, and her hair, although, to him looked as if it had been dyed before, cascaded over her shoulders.
"Surprise visit to Lincolnshire eh?, who's the lucky Man?" Pete enquired with a warm smile.

He was taken back and a bit saddened to see Her just gaze at her skirt, almost figiting with a loose thread.
"What could be on her mind?" he thought, but didn't want to ask.

"Forgive me Tabitha, for I need not want to pry"

There were a few uncomfortable moments, Pete searched his brain for something to say that would lighten the mood somewhat. The train continued to chunder along, passing bridges in a flash and in the distance, the hills seem to glide by as if they were on some huge conveyor belt.

"I've just had the most boring meeting in London. Stuffy stuck up snobs who have nothing better to do than trying to make more money for their ever increasing Bank Accounts, while us real workers have to make do with some crummy excuse of a salary and a third rate pension scheme, I mean where is all this equality I keep hearing from?" Pete piped up. He thought he heard a small muffle of a laugh escape Tabitha's mouth, which warmed him.

"Please excuse me, I need to, err, well, use the toilet". Pete stood up and exited the compartment. Looking up and down the carriage to determine which way to go, he turned his head to look at Tabitha, who had looked to gaze out into the darkening sky.

Tabitha could see his reflection in the window of the train, he looked a bit lost, confused and relatively unsure of what direction to go. She glanced up at him, she’d managed a small chuckle after his rant about meetings, London, equality. She smirked inside. She’d offer no opinion on the government for she wished not to delve into a subject she knew such little about. She pointed out the facilities to him, watched him go, then settled back into her seat.

The newspaper he’d been reading lay open on the chair beside him. The night was closing in on them, the train moving quickly along its tracks. The sounds of snoring children and adults can be heard and for a moment she considers trying to sleep, but the newspaper crosses her mind and she picks it up. She wasn’t sure what told her to turn to the Society Section, but something had. She flicked through the thin paper until she found it. Her eyes scanned quickly to rest on the his face, the face of her past, or at least a past she was about to close off.

Her fingers touched his face, the black and white grainy image coming to life, burning her skin, as she heard the words of degradation fall from his lips all over again. He was holding two women, their smiles lit up the paper, their laughter seemed to fill the compartment she and the others were in. She tossed it away from her, reached up and pulled the light above her and curled into a ball. Her fingers traced the worn path of where her wedding ring once rested, so cherished and then so hated upon her hand. Now it had a new home, at the bottom of the river, where she knew some fisherman would enjoy finding the three karat rock someday for his dinner.

She heard him come back, and she tried to curl away, wiping her eyes and trying desperately to melt into the nothingness that she was told she was. Her thoughts would shift to her companion next to her, and she wondered why he talked to her, why he seemed to care when the man who claimed to cherish her forever had suddenly decided she’d never be good enough.

Pete wandered uneasingly along the ever darkening carriages, occasionally losing His balance and bumping into the walls. Upon reaching the toilet, he just lowered the bowl seat and just sat there. He began to think about his Compartment companion. Why did she seem upset and what was she doing going to a place she clearly wasn't looking forward to visiting?

Coming back to His senses, Pete routinely washed His hands and returned to the Compartment.
The lights were dimmed and Pete noticed Tabitha curled up facing away from Him. He began to speak, but thought better of it and just sat down next to Her.

The trains whistle brought Pete back from unconciousness. Feeling a bit groggy, wiping the sleep from his eyes, Pete stood and looked out of the Compartment window. A sigh of sleep stirred from Tabitha as he towered over Her.

"This is where I change trains" pete murmered to Himself. He retrieved the crumpled newspaper and stuffed it back into His briefcase. Tabitha then rolled over and opened Her eyes.

Tabitha felt the weight of his eyes resting on her. She opened them briefly, closed them tight, then opened them again, before focusing on him and his words. For a fleeting moment she almost asked him to stay... to continue on the trek with her. She felt so alone, lost, confused, and bewildered. Looking around, she sat up, aware the train was coming to a stop. She would have to continue onward once more on a journey to the past, to a life where she had no desire to hear the “I told you so” come from her mother’s ears.

She glanced at him wondering if perhaps their chance meeting would ever come back to haunt her. She liked the idea. Enjoyed the brief fantasy that played across her mind. Her eyes took in his features, his build, and his mannerism. With an overwhelming need to touch him, she reached out her hand, hoping she would feel the warmth of his. “It was a short visit,” she said. “But it was pleasant just the same.”

He took her offered hand. Hers curled around his, his around hers, and she felt the shock that ran through her entire body. Tabitha looked at their hands each one entwined with the other and she felt at peace, as if a part of her had suddenly been found. They separated. Her eyes continued to focus on her fingers, wondering if perhaps they were branded by his touch. She swallowed her nervousness and spoke. “Perhaps we’ll cross paths again, someday.” Her lips lifted in a welcoming grin and she placed her hand on her lap, wondering if he noticed it shaking.

As Pete took Her hand, feeling the smoothness and softness of Her touch, he smiled. "I certainly hope so, it is a small World out there" nodding toward the window.

He let go and picked up his briefcase. Straightening His Collar, he smiled once again at Tabitha, "Well goodbye then and I hope your visit goes well". With that Pete exited the compartment.

Stepping onto the platform, Pete suddenly stopped. An empty hole come over Him as if someone inside were tugging at his heart-strings and prodding His brain. Turning back to see Tabitha gazing out of the window, he jumped back onto the train. Tabitha turned quickly toward Pete as he re-entered the compartment. Looking down to see Her eyes filling with tears, "I know you are heading off to see your Family, but would it be ok to delay it for a few hours and perhaps have dinner with me - I know this delightful Italian restaurant just outside the Station?"

Tabitha felt him leave her, felt the emptiness, her eyes followed him, and for some reason a bit of her left with him. As she saw his figure out the window she wondered why she was thinking about him, what was it that made him special. She closed her eyes, saw his face in her mind, and then felt his eyes on her. She could see him through the blur of the window, she watched him suddenly turn back, her pulse beat rapidly. Turning in her seat she saw him come back to her.

His question ran through her ears, her fingers curled into fists and she smiled softly. “Yes, it can be delayed... its been delayed for a long time now, a few hours won’t hurt any.” She stood up, pulled the small bag from the small storage space and soon found herself standing beside him as the train for home deserted them.

Her teeth came out and bit her bottom lip, she chewed gently. Her mind telling herself how silly she was and how she just needed to sit back, relax and take a moment to enjoy the company she found herself in. Tabitha smiled up at him, her whole face just basking in the glow of being noticed. For the first time in what seemed like forever she felt appreciated for her company and not for the woman she’d been told to be.

“This was a lovely idea,” she told him. “Thank you for the invitation.” Her lips lifted once more into the friendly smile, one that was genuine and warm, one that was not plastered because she was trying to hold the perfect image of beauty and poise. This smile was Tabitha... nothing more, nothing less.

With her agreement, Pete held out His arm for Tabitha to take and they exited the Station and into the nearby Restaurant. Pete's heart was racing for it had been such a long time since He was in the company of a woman alone. They swapped chit chat and Pete founding Himself staring at His Guest, watching the soft lights radiate off her rose cheeks. He found Her smile so warm and loving.

After settling the Bill, Pete stood up, helped Tabitha on with Her coat and left the Eatery.
"Do you fancy a walk in the Park?" and with another of Tabitha's warm smiles, they trundled off through the wrought iron gates of the Park.
Words were sometimes not needed for Pete just sauntered and enjoyed being in the Company of this Beautiful Lady, secretly wishing She didn't have to leave.
After a while Pete said that they should be getting back to the Station for it was getting late and they might miss their trains.
Upon reaching the Station they were just in time to see a train arrive bound for a destination that would take Tabitha to Her Family home. They exchanged pleasantries and Pete hugged Tabitha tightly and thanked Her for Her company. They broke and looked at each other. Pete leant forward to kiss Tabitha on her rosy cheek, but found Himself being drawn to her soft red lips.

Tabitha enjoyed the dinner, the attention he gave her, then sincerity in his words as well as the attentiveness he showed during the meal. She was the only one in the room with him, or at least that was how she felt when they dined. She knew that for her he was the only one there. Pete made her feel relaxed, at ease with herself and she didn’t find her thoughts traveling to the memory of her husband until he moved to kiss her.

For a moment she hovered on the edge of refusal. She could pull away, tell him she was married, confess to him that she was running away from a man that she no longer loved, a man that had molded her into an image he was proud of, but one she knew was fake. His breath touched her skin and she felt the refusal fall away, replaced with a whimper of want.

Her tongue slipped out and she moistened her lips, just seconds before his mouth captured her lips. She sighed against the gentle touch, whimpered softly, and felt her hands move up to his neck. Her fingers moved timidly into his hair, toyed with the silky strands as she felt her body gently glide into a warm caress. The kiss ended just as slowly as it had begun and she gazed up at him, her eyes blinking rapidly. "Oh my," Tabitha whispered. Her fingers moving to touch her lips, savoring the moisture from his lips that still laid nestled against her flesh.