Anyone out there let their wife screw around?

The fantasy of my wife being with another man or men is my recurring fantasy of late. Anyone ever encourage it?

Where do I start?

I once had a buddy who used to call me from another state. We talked about once a week. My girlfriend would sometimes answer the phone and they would talk, but they had never seen each other, ever. One day she admitted that his voice turned her on, and she admitted fantasizing about having her way with him.

I called her bluff, loaded her into my truck, and showed up on his doorstep with her dressed only in a yellow ribbon and a smile. I left them together with the suggestion that they indulge their curiosities. It was the start of a very kinky relationship for her and I. We enjoyed the hell out of it.

That kind of became a habit. Every girlfriend since then has found me encouraging her curiosity, and they indulged mine. The benefits have included a lifetime of exhibitionism, voyuerism, threesomes, group things, and lots of kink. I've never regretted a moment of it.

I had a three-way with my boyfriend and another guy , if that counts.

I do

But I am always there...my wife and I have been partying with other couples for a couple of years and we love it. Sometimes in the same room, sometimes we split up and just go have fun with the other's spouse. We have loved it.

but...

Be sure you can handle the consequences...you can't encourage her to do this and then hold it against her if it turns out you don't like it.

I say this because the first time my wife and I were with another couple I did have some strange feelings afterwards...While it was going on it was fine. All four of us were in the same bed and I was fucking his wife but the whole time I kept watching my wife. She was on her hands and knees taking him doggie style, moaning and cumming and I was mesmerized. it was very erotic seeing her having sex from a 3rd party point of view. But afterward, the wave of jealosy hit me...she had really enjoyed it! She came multiple times! I let another guys cock in my wife! What did I do...that same night, as soon as we got home I fucked her...It was suddenly important to me that my come be the last come inside her that night. And that 4:00am romp, while we were both still smelling of sex from our other partners earlier that night was the most intimate, best sex we ever had. After that, I never had the jealousy thing again and looked forward to seeing my wife on another cock, especially with another pussy wrapped around mine

I have been encouraging my wife to play with another guy,...but she hasn't done it yet. been married 29 yrs,...i figure "what the hell",..she still looks good, why not let her have some fun too

Its something I fantasize about and act out with my wife with a dildo every once in a while, but probably won't happen in real life.

That's a good attitude Rick

Why not?

And if fantasizing about it is enough to add what you want to your sex life, then fantasizing it is, no need to take it further. Like I said, if you regret it later it was not worth it...somehtings work just find as fantasy, but the reality adds factors you don't like.

It works for us though we need to find someone to play with since we moved!

my husband and I have recently tried swinging- and we have had some mixed feelings about it- some insecurities on his part. But mostly its been great.

Hi Chantel

The insecurity is understandable...I felt it at first. Mostly, it a fear that if you let your wife be with another guy, she may begin to prefer him over you and you'll lose her. It's silly, because aa woman usually recognizes that her husband represents a lot more to her life than sex, and she would never leave all of those other things over a good screw. And good swinging is something you both share, like a story or a sex toy, the other people are additions to your play, ,not replacements. Good luck with it and have lots of fun

U people disgust me...

I don't understand how anyone can find sharing what belongs to them, emotionally and physically, arrousing...

Apathy said:

U people disgust me...

I don't understand how anyone can find sharing what belongs to them, emotionally and physically, arrousing...

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maybe because in all civilized countries, slavery was abolished long ago, so no person " belongs" to another?

your attitude and possessiveness is uncool, but worthy of pity, not disgust.

My wording may be unfortunate but I imagine many people in a secure relationship would understand the implied meaning rather than the failings in word choice.

You people disgust me because you take something unique and pure and taint it.

sirhugs - stfu and die plz

Just want to stand up and say that I agree with the concept of what Apathy is trying to say. There is nothing wrong with him (her??) stating that the idea of sharing a spouse is disgusting to him/her. I don't get the idea, either. I understand others have fantasies about, even engage in swapping, and seem to be able to deal with it. That's great.

But there are those of us who freely admit that it is not something they could engage in. I am one of those people. I would not want to share my husband, period. Is that being possessive? Possibly. Is that "uncool"? Absolutely not - and any stating so is out of line. It is how some one feels, and if their spouse is in agreement, then how in the world could they be "uncool"?

I am not married, but I have had potential long term relationships tell me they wanted to try swinging. I gave it a great deal of consideration, and even spoke with couples who did it. Funny thing was - every single one of the couples I talked to had either split up or shortly did after I spoke to them. (The ones who had split up were mixed about swinging, the ones who split up after I spoke to them, pointed to swinging as one of the causes) That gave me pause to think. I'm sure that the swinging aspect isn't what caused the relationships to flounder, but it could not have played a very minor role, either. Now, if some one tells me one of the things they wish to do is swap partners or swing, they are on the "never speak to again" list.

It's not for me and never will be.

And, no, that does not make me "uncool". It shows that I've researched the subject and have been honest with myself in my feelings towards it. And from that I made an informed decision.

While in essense I can agree with Apathy's concepts, I think the way it was stated was a bit harsh (to which has been admitted to). Apathy can disagree with that lifestyle and be repelled by it but to use those words as condemning someone's choices is a bit overboard in MY opinion. I doubt if it was meant as snobbery on Apathy's part; I think just a failure to understand the other side's view. If Apathy chooses not to even look on the other side, then that's their choice. To lob over condemnation & scorn is something else and Apathy is on the verge of it. The "die plz" comment lends no credibility to their argument whatsoever & only weakens Apathy's stance. I also think the word "belong" in context of people to people can be repugnant; it conjures up too many uncomfortable scenarios of ownership.

I understand a wedded person's vows to one another and I'm all for that couple's vows. If one breaks off those vows then it's a tragedy. But if the couple seems to have no problems with infidelity, I'm not one to judge. Yes, wedding vows are sacred but it's only between those two people & God. If all are in agreement as to its dynamics, then they have to live with it, but if one breaks that covenant... then there are other issues at play here & that's where I'd have to side with Apathy's concept of taking something unique & tainting it.

Simply put, if one member of the couple lies to the other then one's been harmed. Breaking a trust/ vow is uncool and I think we can all agree on that.

i wish my wife would indulge me and fuck another guy for me or with me. she is really sweet and keeps on about how i'm more than enough for her, but i'd just love to see her getting nailed by someone else. anyone tell me how to persuade her?

I think Apathy may want to change their user name to "Apparently not apathetic at all, but in fact cares a great deal about what other people do in the privacy of their own homes, for some reason." Or something like that.

I totally understand where Apathy is coming from, however, I don't understand why he/she felt it necessary(sp) to voice it in that way. Those of us who "taint" it , as it was put, do not say that we are disgusted by people who do not share our beliefs or ways of doing things. I am one of those who honestly believes that if something is not for you then great, don't do it, but don't down people who have done it or still do it. I respect your opinion I just think it could have been said in a better way.

mystic raven said:

I totally understand where Apathy is coming from, however, I don't understand why he/she felt it necessary(sp) to voice it in that way. Those of us who "taint" it , as it was put, do not say that we are disgusted by people who do not share our beliefs or ways of doing things. I am one of those who honestly believes that if something is not for you then great, don't do it, but don't down people who have done it or still do it. I respect your opinion I just think it could have been said in a better way.

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I could not agree more.

ukwriter said:

i wish my wife would indulge me and fuck another guy for me or with me. she is really sweet and keeps on about how i'm more than enough for her, but i'd just love to see her getting nailed by someone else. anyone tell me how to persuade her?

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Hmmm...be careful about "persuading" her.

Bring it up and tell her you want it. Incorporate it into fantasy in bed. Bring a dildo into play and tell her it gets you hot to think about that being another guy's cock. Show her you like the idea.

And leave it at that. If she feels pressured or coerced, then she goes through with it, more than likely she will feel resentful of YOU for "making" her feel like she "needed" to do it to satisfy you.

If she wants it too, she will take the hint.

And one other thing...she has to be completely secure in you and your relationship in order to do something like that. She might be afraid you will leave her, or that your image of her will change toward the negative, and you could use that "other man" against her one day. That's just a point to ponder.

We women think that way sometimes...

S.

Glass houses

Apathy said:

My wording may be unfortunate but I imagine many people in a secure relationship would understand the implied meaning rather than the failings in word choice.

You people disgust me because you take something unique and pure and taint it.

sirhugs - stfu and die plz

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Apathy, your comments are harsh, judgemental, and inconsistant with the very nature of this site. Something other than mainstream, missionary position, sex-only-for-the-purpose-of-procreation, clean-cut, wholesome goodness brought you to this site so don't throw the stones too hard.

My wife and I have a marriage that is about so much more than sex it is not even conceivable that we would ever be without each other. We have survived moves, illness, the death of a child, unemployment, bankruptcy and more over our 12 years together and continue to bounce back and get stronger. Notice I did not mention sex. Sex is sooooo not a major part of what defines us or our marriage. While I have been fond of the women from the other couples we have played with, there is simply no way that they could ever be to me what my beautiful wife is. You insinuate that because we share some play time with another couple we have somehow ruined our marriage. If you and your wife have been through any of trials in your life that we have (and you probably have) and yet you are still at a point that someone putting their dick in her for a few minutes could somehow damage your marriage, then your marriage has a long way to go.

Chele, your comment was a lucid and sensitive statement of your opinion that I can respect. The lifestyle is absolutely not for everybody as I mentioned in my first post in this thread...exposing some of the dangerous feelings that lead to the breakups you mention. For those of us that know what part sex plays compared to the truly important things in life, swinging causes no pain and leads to some really great friendships. But both partners have to be of like mind. You never let anybody "persuade" you...that will never fly, as you have already seen in those other couples.

C and T

Speaking from yet another swinger's POV....

While I understand and can empathize with the fact that someone does not wish to participate in a swinger's lifestyle, I also don't understand why that "disgusts" Apathy. If you are a regular at this site, then you must be at least a little on the sexually open minded side. If you're not, then, baby, you are in the wrong place. Personally, there are things out there that people do in a sexual context that don't appeal to me in the slightest, but I feel that it is everyone's right to do as they wish with their bodies. If vanilla sex is all you're into, great, if you're more into Baskin Robbins 31 flavors, great as well. The difference is in respect and tolerance. The fact that Apathy's not into this and yet replied in a way that goes against the thread's entire sphere of concept proves only that rather than having logical opinions and input, they want only to brook a reaction and antagonize the parties who actually want to discuss the topic in a serious manner. I'm sure that with the different levels of communication and openness of Lit he could have found a better forum to offer his opinion, or even spoke in this thread in a way that better communicates and relates to the spirit of the discussion. He obviously does not agree with an open lifestyle, but that does not make him judge, jury and executioner as to what is right and wrong.

I echo that!

(ok, that was a cheap post because I promised Angel I'd try to get my AV)

Apathy said:

My wording may be unfortunate but I imagine many people in a secure relationship would understand the implied meaning rather than the failings in word choice.

You people disgust me because you take something unique and pure and taint it.

sirhugs - stfu and die plz

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You are not, perchance, a strong believer of the Christian faith?

And have you ever heard of "pluralism", oh narrow-minded cave dweller? I mean you don´t like this, fine, no one is telling you to do this; other people like to do this however and no one is harmed, so let them!

Re: That's a good attitude Rick

Allanon_the_Druid said:

Why not?

And if fantasizing about it is enough to add what you want to your sex life, then fantasizing it is, no need to take it further. Like I said, if you regret it later it was not worth it...somehtings work just find as fantasy, but the reality adds factors you don't like.

It works for us though we need to find someone to play with since we moved!

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well I already asked her about trying it and she said no, but whenever we have sex and she sucks the dildo I tell her "I bet you wish that was a real cock don't you" and she say yes and sucks it like its a real cock and it gets me so fucking hot and hard, shes obviously gets off on it during sex but wouldn't actually bring another man into our sex life, I'm open for it though if she changes her mind.