Raise a child?

Astro

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(If there is a thread on this already sorry, the search didnt work for me)

Okay - about 5 hours ago I learned I was to be a father for the first time. Unplanned and unexpected baby on its way.

1 - taking my house of the market
2 - Cancel travel plans
3 - get a job


What the hell do I do now? What do I know about taking care of a pregnant woman, never mind a newly born child?
 
First of all you get a conformation that she is pregnant. Then you get a really good doctor for her.

How old are you and how old is mom to be?
 
I agree on the getting a job. At least one that is steady.
 
The pregnancy test confirmed our thoughts.

The job one I will start on in the morning, making a call into Adecco to get an imediate job whilst I am looking for a more secure long term one.

This is where u may understand my concern, I'm 22, shes just 17. We have decided to keep the baby, I am pro-choice and we made ours.
 
Okay so does she still live with mom and dad?

If so, then you both need to go them and tell them. The next step would be getting her to a really good doctor for a physical and so that she can get the things that she needs.

She will need emotional support and you are going to be likely the one that gives it to her.
 
We are in the UK and have the NHS so doctors are taken care of, she is registering at the local practice.

She hasnt lived at home for about 6 months before she moved in with me she was working in England. She comes from a large family and one of the cousins needed her old room.
 
Okay the first thing is to get her to a doctor, the second thing is to tell her parents. The third thing is to make sure that she understands what is going to happen to her body in the next eight months or so.

That is where the doctor comes in. You should go with her and have a list of questions prepared so that you can ask what you need to.
 
Astro said:
What the hell do I do now? What do I know about taking care of a pregnant woman, never mind a newly born child?

The Pre-natal education will be taken care of by the doctor's visits and Lamaze classes.

Taking care of a new-born just requires patience and an even temper.

Raising a child is another proposition entirely; it's a lot more than changing diapers and Oh-Dark-Thirty feedings.

Start looking for Parenting Classes to get you started thinking about how you're going to raise your child.

However, you should be aware that there are numerous conflicting theories on child-rearing and Parenting Classes aren't the total answer to every child-rearing problem -- approach the classes critically. Parenting Classes are just a good starting point for learning how to raise a child. The internet can help you sort the what from the chaff and tailor what you learn to your child's needs.
 
Congratulations on your upcoming parenthood! Hey - lots of us did it the exact same way you're going to. It ain't rocket science. My best advice is stay friendly with your parents - they'll probably be a big help. Read read read read - everything you can on pregnancy, childbirth, child rearing, etc.

There's no possible way you can prepare for bringing a life into this world - so relax a little bit. Enjoy the wonder of pregnancy. Enjoy her body changing. Enjoy every little part of it - cuz you'll forget most of it soon enough anyway. And when you hold that little one in your arms the first time you'll know you made the right choice.

Love love love love love - babies need that more than ANY thing else. More than all the new toys or new baby foods or new fangled ways to raise them. Read them books and love them. Let everyone else love them.

Kids are hardy - they will thrive - all the rest is boring details. You made up your minds - now both of you put all your heart in to this baby. oh - and good luck!
 
RE:

Make sure you and mom to be get lots of sleep now. Because you won't after the baby comes. Definetely read alot it isn't easy being a good parent but will be worth it. Be there for mom to be she is young and will be going through a lot of changes in the next couple of months.

Good luck to the both of you.
 
Originally posted by crazybbwgirl
Congratulations on your upcoming parenthood! Hey - lots of us did it the exact same way you're going to. It ain't rocket science. My best advice is stay friendly with your parents - they'll probably be a big help. Read read read read - everything you can on pregnancy, childbirth, child rearing, etc.

There's no possible way you can prepare for bringing a life into this world - so relax a little bit. Enjoy the wonder of pregnancy. Enjoy her body changing. Enjoy every little part of it - cuz you'll forget most of it soon enough anyway. And when you hold that little one in your arms the first time you'll know you made the right choice.

Love love love love love - babies need that more than ANY thing else. More than all the new toys or new baby foods or new fangled ways to raise them. Read them books and love them. Let everyone else love them.

Kids are hardy - they will thrive - all the rest is boring details. You made up your minds - now both of you put all your heart in to this baby. oh - and good luck!


Thanks hon... I was trying to come up with a good response....went away a bit and came back to find this wonderful answer. Agree...it's impossible to give a baby/child too much love.
 
Mary Hall said:
Has nobody heard of condoms? I hear this new invention is amazing


I'm with ya on that one but Itis too late now for these guys......



Dude Kiss all the fun you have by yourself good bye. Everything you do will be x3 now.....
 
Jaybird3 said:
That is an excellent suggestion Weird Harold.

Thank you. In general, I disgree with much of modern Child Psychology and Parenting Theory, but Any guidance is better than just winging it.

I do have one bit of specific advice I think is VERY important for new parents: Ban all "baby-talk" A child learns to speak by listening -- if they hear baby-talk, then they learn baby-talk. Speak to children as if they understand, and they will learn to speak understand without having to unlearn baby-talk first.

I believe that children understand things much more and much sooner than modern child psychologists would have you believe.
 
Weird Harold said:
I believe that children understand things much more and much sooner than modern child psychologists would have you believe.
At least mine did. They would often decide that the subject was not relevant to them and act like they didn't hear, but hear they did and frequently would demonstrate understanding if they found it necessary or convenient.
 
well this is a tad off the subject...

In the past year, I have known four different girls, all under 20, no ged with bf's who did drugs, had no jobs, no future and were older than them that had kids.

I love babies...I adore them. I love everything about them. When the hell are people going to start taking pregnancy seriously though? Are condoms that expensive? Is it to much to use a back up method? Is it something you never think to talk about or even take seriously? The girl is 17...yes you made the baby BUT this is probably going to end her chance to go to college, finish hs if she hasnt already and keep her from experiencing quite a few things you probably took for granted. (and this iswhere everyone who had kids in their teens will probably tell me Im wrong and thats fine.) I wonder what sort of parents are happy to let their daughter go live with her bf at 17. You dont have a steady job...how will you support the two of them if she does decide to persue school? If your scrambling for a job IM guessing your not financially well off or it wouldnt be an issue. Im not saying run out and get an abortion...adoption is always a wonderful option though.

That aside....

Astro, please get your act together. Help her get hers together too. Dont get caught up in the fairy tale of "wow we are going to be mommies and daddies" only to let it come crashing down on your head at 3 am when the baby wakes up screaming the 15th night in a row. Love her, love your child and from here on out you two need to be more responsible. Go to some parenting classes...ya you may form ideas that coincide with their trachings, but it gives you a good start. Be realistic...yes this child will bring you love but it is probably going to be the hardest work youve ever had to do.



I wish you luck.
 
Weird Harold said:
Thank you. In general, I disgree with much of modern Child Psychology and Parenting Theory, but Any guidance is better than just winging it.

I do have one bit of specific advice I think is VERY important for new parents: Ban all "baby-talk" A child learns to speak by listening -- if they hear baby-talk, then they learn baby-talk. Speak to children as if they understand, and they will learn to speak understand without having to unlearn baby-talk first.

I very much agree. My parents did this with me much to my benefit I think. Always surprised a lot of adults as a kid with my vocab/understanding. I do worry that it might make it harder for kids to socialize with other kids though.
 
Wulf7 said:
Always surprised a lot of adults as a kid with my vocab/understanding. I do worry that it might make it harder for kids to socialize with other kids though.

My grand-daughters don't seem to have much problem socializing although they do have some problems in school -- they're bored much of the time. (the five-year-old was kicked out of Kindergarten after a month and exiled to first grade earlier this year.)

My Grand-daughters both have a lot of friends that are older than they are, but they don't seem to have many problems socializing with kids their ages and younger as well.
 
Since this thread seems to have taken a slight detour into 'why can't people use birth control?' may I suggest that people shouldn't jump to conclusions. No birth control method, other than abstinence, is 100% effective and there are all sorts of people that were born to prove it. Of course I think people who aren't trying to conceive a child should use birth control, but nothing says these people didn't use it so let's not hang them over it!
 
Thank you wicked woman, I was thinking the same thing.

WH you have a good point as to the socialization issues.
 
start buying childrens books now...and read to your child, in the womb, after it is born, all the time...stock up on earplugs for hte three am screaming sessions...learn patience, screaming at an infant is not going to make them understand you any better, getting frusterated is pointless and only wastes energy that you will need to draw on when you haven't slept or showered in what seems like days...
 
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