What Degrades You In Bed?

I am going to ask yet another none How To question. Lit ladies what do you think is the most degrading thing a man could do to a woman in bed and Lit men what would be the most degrading thing a woman could do to you in bed? Personally I think it is really degrading when a man slaps you in the face with his cock. What do you think?

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a drunk guy

Ewww......The most degrading thing a man could do to me is to just outright spit on me for the purpose of lube. Yuck.

My exwife was chock full of degrading comments. In the 12 yrs we were together I had to put up with such comments as;

"are you finished yet?"
"Are you in yet?"
"Hurry up and get it over with!"
"I know girls that can do it better"

If she ever had an orgasm, I never knew it. For 12 yrs I was convinced, thanks to her, that I was incapable of pleasing a woman. 12 YEARS!!! And yeah, the equipment works fines, have 2 sons to show for that 12 years.

I tried everything I could to please her. I would go down on her even though she refused to go down on me. I bought toys. Nothing I did seemed to give her any pleasure and all the while my ego took her continual pounding and whipping.

12 years of comments like that leave you believing those cutting comments. Leave you doubting your own masculinity, leave you hating women in general and wondering if life really is worth living.

It wasn't til I met my second wife that I learned it wasn't ME that had the problem. It was her. My second wife is a lot younger than I am (13yrs younger), she might have been inexperienced, but she taught me just how good making love can be when your partner loves you. She gave me more of an ego boost in one orgasm than my first wife did in 12 years. I can go happily to my grave knowing I loved and was loved in return.

As to my first wife? She and I live 1000's of miles apart, and I both hate and pity her. She's mean spirited and obviously has a serious sexual issues, but at least she doesn't have me around as a whipping boy anymore. I pity any guy that she hooks up with.

More to the point of this thread however is the issue of degradation. And thats going to vary from person to person. What is degrading to one is fun to another. There are things I don't think I would do, because in my mind, I think it would degrade my partner, and there are things I know I would never do because I know she would consider it degrading to say the least.

So you have what you know your partner would consider degrading, and you have what you think your partner would consider degrading. Working out the latter things can lead to some interesting conversations.

For us guys I think the biggest problem we continually struggle with is keeping our partner from thinking that we just want to use them as ways of getting our rocks off. Placing the woman in the role of pure sex object is, in my thought, highly degrading. It cheapens the relationship, and yet, if there was a way I could go through life with myself planted firmly in her pussy all day long I would! We've been together now for 10 years and she still excites me. I still get a thrill everytime I nuzzle her breasts or hold her tightly. Even a hug in the kitchen starts the old cannon warming up. Some women may take that as a compliment, some may see it as bit of an insult, that you only see them as a sex object. Whether or not its degrading is up to you women to decide.

My wife is NOT a sex object. That I would like to spend all day and night long giving her orgasms and having a few myself is probably a holdover from my teenage years when I lived on the edge of the hairy hormones. But I do think that particular desire is degrading to her, so I try very hard to bury it and keep it buried.

Bobmi357, I think you hit it dead center. Deliberate hurtful words or attitude is the most degrading thing a man or woman can do. Individual actions such as facials, slapping a cock on a woman's face, using spit to lubercate or individual preferances and things that excite or don't.

My first wife also should no interest in sex regardless of my efforts to please her. That was degrading to the relationship.

As for individual sexual acts, regardless of what they may be, they are only degrading if the recipiant feels degraded by it. In that case a loving partner forgoes that pleasure and moves on to mutually enjoyable things. LDLarry52

What I put up with from my ex was degrading and hurtful to be sure. But its still not the most degrading thing anyone can do. Its only my opinion, but I feel the most degrading act that anyone can perform is thinking solely of their own pleasure and forgetting that their partner has needs and desires.

One single act might be a little embarassing, or maybe even shameful. But to think of your partner as merely an object is not only degrading, its dehumanizing. In having that kind of mindset you fail to recognize that your partner has needs and desires needing to be fufilled as well as your own. Its a highly selfish attitude, and unfortunately, one which has worked for men for far too long. Throughout history mankind has looked on women as secondary citizens, unworthy of having an opinion, or of having needs to be fufilled. Its only in the last 50 years or so that this has started to change and even today you will run across guys that still follow that mindset.

There might be acts which people as individuals, find personally degrading to themselves. But in my mind, thinking of a gender, either one, merely as a means of getting an orgasm is more degrading than any single act.

I used to think that facials were degrating, until I heard about people who deficate on their partners. I'm still not a fan of facials, but I feel that the worst phsyical degrating act would be to deficate on someone. I remember seeing "The Shogun" in school and the man character came to an island where he was unwelcome- to put it lightly- and the guy in charge of the island urinated on the man to let him know just how unwelcome he was. I agree with Bobmi357 and ldlarry52 that words can be degrating, especailly from someone that you love or is supposed t o love you. If it came from a one-nighter that would hurt, but not so much as from a wife. I'm terribly sorry that you both had such hurtful experiances.

I have to agree... I don't want anyone spitting in bed. She can do just about anything else she wants, but... well, that is just me.

I think it's the attitude behind the act, not the actual act that makes or doesn't make something degrading. Done by the right person in a loving way having his cock slap my cheek or his cum on my face or peeing on me or calling me a slut could all be endearing....done by the wrong person or the right person in the wrong way would be degrading...but so could 'making love'. It's all in the attitude for me.

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When a woman I was seeing rolled over and pulled out her vibrator. I thought we were enjoying ourselves. Boy, was I wrong!
She didnt say a thing, just pulled out the toy and went to town on herself. I pretty much knew that it was over at that point.
I should have got up and left, but home was 3 hours away and it was 1 in the morning. Needless to say, I left the next morning.

The only other time I talked to her was to ask about some things I forgot. She said she just threw them out because she didnt think I wanted them.

this

ita with a bit kinky that's where i draw the line

I think each of you has mentioned things that are both wrong and right. What I mean is if it's exciting to both partners, how could it be degrading. There are things that I find exciting that could be construed as degrading to one woman but may be very exciting to another. Now I do feel when you lose respect for that person and begin to treat them as an object of your lust and own selfish fulfillment, that is truly degrading. Because that person then loses they're identity to you and becomes a simple plaything. That's when certain levels of deprevation become possible and that should never happen. There are just some things you should not do! There are times when sex should be hot & nasty (not sick!) and times it should be loving & tender.
Me personally I like it both ways.


Damn, I wanna make out now

drew62 said:

When a woman I was seeing rolled over and pulled out her vibrator. I thought we were enjoying ourselves. Boy, was I wrong!
She didnt say a thing, just pulled out the toy and went to town on herself. I pretty much knew that it was over at that point.
I should have got up and left, but home was 3 hours away and it was 1 in the morning. Needless to say, I left the next morning.

The only other time I talked to her was to ask about some things I forgot. She said she just threw them out because she didnt think I wanted them.

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There must 50 ways to leave your lover ... err 51 now.

ReadyOne said:

There must 50 ways to leave your lover ... err 51 now.

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I wudda' whupped that bitch's ass!!!!!



Ok I wudda' wanted to but just wudda' sued her stupid ass. Lack of cash has far more lasting effects then an ass whuppin' lol!!!



And they wonder why men turn gay lol!!

No reason to sue her sorry ass, the only thing she had less of than class was


$$$$$

degrading, this just happened to a friend of mine, they were having sex, she was blowing him, after he got off, he got dressed and left. I said "dump him" my current refrain this past month, and she actually did for a while. None of my lovers would even dare to think of such a thing,

I think most things are attitude and intent, people not respecting the other persons feelings is degrading. I have had a lot of strange things happen during sex, but nothing that felt really degrading in real life.

In cyber, I had a guy I actually I liked a lot, masturbate on cam "for me", something I had never seen, without warning and without asking me if I wanted to watch, I was at a loss at what to do, I didn't want to upset or insult him but it was not something I wanted at all. that felt pretty degrading.
My first cyber guy did a series of still cam shots during our cyberring, posted them for me on his server, told me about them, gave me a choice to see them, and explained what happened when. It was pretty cool as it had something to do with me, in that we were cyberring together when he took them, I knew which of my words had what effect. That felt great, especially then as I was having a hard time believing I was any good at cyberring with so little experience.
So both visual images which I am not particularly into, and they both knew that, one felt degrading and the other fine, even slightly thrilling.

So both visual images which I am not particularly into, and they both knew that, one felt degrading and the other fine, even slightly thrilling.

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Yes but Noor, you've also answered your own question (even if you didn't voice it out loud). In the one case the guy put some images online and gave you an option to view them. AN OPTION. It was a measured response to you and how he felt you might react. In effect, he carefully considered your feelings and opinions and decided to take a chance on letting you make up your mind yourself.

In the other case the guy in question just went ahead and did something without regard for your feelings or wishes. He, at that point, stepped over a line and went from treating you as a person to treating you as a cybersex toy.

Why should one feel naughty and the other degrading? Simple, in one case you were given an option of viewing some still images, in the other case you weren't given any options, he plunged in and didn't give a damn about you.

The more we discuss it, the more I tend to think that the degradation doesn't come from the act itself, but from the fact that something has happened over which you had no control. Someone gave vent to their lusts in a manner which both shocked and surprised you, and never gave an option to refuse to partake in that action.

And if that is truely the source of degradation, then any act can be degrading if its forced on you without permission.

plasma'sgirl said:

I used to think that facials were degrating, until I heard about people who deficate on their partners. I'm still not a fan of facials, but I feel that the worst phsyical degrating act would be to deficate on someone. I remember seeing "The Shogun" in school and the man character came to an island where he was unwelcome- to put it lightly- and the guy in charge of the island urinated on the man to let him know just how unwelcome he was. I agree with Bobmi357 and ldlarry52 that words can be degrating, especailly from someone that you love or is supposed t o love you. If it came from a one-nighter that would hurt, but not so much as from a wife. I'm terribly sorry that you both had such hurtful experiances.

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Well I used to think a man slapping me on the face with his cock was degrading until I read your post.

Noor said:

degrading, this just happened to a friend of mine, they were having sex, she was blowing him, after he got off, he got dressed and left. I said "dump him" my current refrain this past month, and she actually did for a while. None of my lovers would even dare to think of such a thing,

I think most things are attitude and intent, people not respecting the other persons feelings is degrading. I have had a lot of strange things happen during sex, but nothing that felt really degrading in real life.

In cyber, I had a guy I actually I liked a lot, masturbate on cam "for me", something I had never seen, without warning and without asking me if I wanted to watch, I was at a loss at what to do, I didn't want to upset or insult him but it was not something I wanted at all. that felt pretty degrading.
My first cyber guy did a series of still cam shots during our cyberring, posted them for me on his server, told me about them, gave me a choice to see them, and explained what happened when. It was pretty cool as it had something to do with me, in that we were cyberring together when he took them, I knew which of my words had what effect. That felt great, especially then as I was having a hard time believing I was any good at cyberring with so little experience.
So both visual images which I am not particularly into, and they both knew that, one felt degrading and the other fine, even slightly thrilling.

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Assholes that do that to they're ladies down here in Texas get to swing on trees!!!

Or at least they should. Mean thoughtless bastards.

DevilishTexan said:

Assholes that do that to they're ladies down here in Texas get to swing on trees!!!

Or at least they should. Mean thoughtless bastards.

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LOL, both the cyber guys are in Texas!!!!!!

My freind's SO is in CA.

Originally posted by Bobmi357
My exwife was chock full of degrading comments. In the 12 yrs we were together I had to put up with such comments as;

"are you finished yet?"
"Are you in yet?"
"Hurry up and get it over with!"
"I know girls that can do it better"

If she ever had an orgasm, I never knew it. For 12 yrs I was convinced, thanks to her, that I was incapable of pleasing a woman. 12 YEARS!!! And yeah, the equipment works fines, have 2 sons to show for that 12 years.

I tried everything I could to please her. I would go down on her even though she refused to go down on me. I bought toys. Nothing I did seemed to give her any pleasure and all the while my ego took her continual pounding and whipping.

12 years of comments like that leave you believing those cutting comments. Leave you doubting your own masculinity, leave you hating women in general and wondering if life really is worth living.

It wasn't til I met my second wife that I learned it wasn't ME that had the problem. It was her. My second wife is a lot younger than I am (13yrs younger), she might have been inexperienced, but she taught me just how good making love can be when your partner loves you. She gave me more of an ego boost in one orgasm than my first wife did in 12 years. I can go happily to my grave knowing I loved and was loved in return.

As to my first wife? She and I live 1000's of miles apart, and I both hate and pity her. She's mean spirited and obviously has a serious sexual issues, but at least she doesn't have me around as a whipping boy anymore. I pity any guy that she hooks up with.

More to the point of this thread however is the issue of degradation. And thats going to vary from person to person. What is degrading to one is fun to another. There are things I don't think I would do, because in my mind, I think it would degrade my partner, and there are things I know I would never do because I know she would consider it degrading to say the least.

So you have what you know your partner would consider degrading, and you have what you think your partner would consider degrading. Working out the latter things can lead to some interesting conversations.

For us guys I think the biggest problem we continually struggle with is keeping our partner from thinking that we just want to use them as ways of getting our rocks off. Placing the woman in the role of pure sex object is, in my thought, highly degrading. It cheapens the relationship, and yet, if there was a way I could go through life with myself planted firmly in her pussy all day long I would! We've been together now for 10 years and she still excites me. I still get a thrill everytime I nuzzle her breasts or hold her tightly. Even a hug in the kitchen starts the old cannon warming up. Some women may take that as a compliment, some may see it as bit of an insult, that you only see them as a sex object. Whether or not its degrading is up to you women to decide.

My wife is NOT a sex object. That I would like to spend all day and night long giving her orgasms and having a few myself is probably a holdover from my teenage years when I lived on the edge of the hairy hormones. But I do think that particular desire is degrading to her, so I try very hard to bury it and keep it buried.

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Jeez...does your ex-wife have a brother?

My ex had been with about 50 women before me. I am an "evasive O" (or thought I was), and it always took a while for me to cum. He used to tell me how all the other girls he'd had sex with would "cum as soon as I stick it in". Mainly it was a complaint about how long I took. He also complained about how I gave head.

Well, now I know all that is BULLSHIT. My boyfriend is very loving, and wants me to come at least twice before he does, and we often continue through the night until I've come about 9 times, and him 2 or 3 times. It's wonderful, and loving sex. And he cares about ME, unlike me ex.

At least it was only 5 years of that crap.

What is most degrading? A man who expects sex (or a blow job) who hasn't showered in a week....EWWWWW! And then complains when he doesn't get it. (Yes, that's my ex...LOL...and he wondered why I stopped sleeping with him 2 years before we broke up).

Noor said:

LOL, both the cyber guys are in Texas!!!!!!

My freind's SO is in CA.

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Yeah us Texas boys give the best phone/cyber hehe