Belly Button Ring on a young girl~ Slutty or not?

I need the opinions of all young guys here. If you saw a very young girl with a belly button piercing would you think she was slutty?

My 15 yr old step-daughter came home with her belly button pierced. She had it done while at her mom's. They had to go to 3 places before finding a place that would do it.
I'd like to pull the woman's hair out. Am I being "old fashioned" to think it should have waited until she is 18?

would you take a grown woman's opinion? I agree she probably should have waited, but I don't really think it's slutty. My niece started wanting to get various piercings when she was a freshman in college and my sister called me to talk her out of it. I did talk her out of nose, lip, and tongue piercings on health grounds, and eyebrow rings on the grounds that she would look like a punker and that was definitely not her style. However, I thought the belly button ring was cute, and I told her that if I was young enough and had a flat tummy I would get one.

I was at the park last summer with my kids and some friends and their kids..There was this girl 12 years old, we live in a small town, that is how I know her age, anyways, she is a little slutty thing..She walks around town at all hours of the night in practically nothing..I will be surprised if she is not pregnant by next year...UGh how do I word this...??? I think it all depends on how a fifteen year old carries herself..Acts like a slut must be a slut???I don't know????

She is kind of young for that sort of thing. Whether it makes her slutty or not, she is more likely to get into trouble, if you know what I mean.

I certainly wouldn't call it slutty. But I would call it bad judgement.

Today's society seems to push people into body modifications that don't really make a lot of sense. And as a person that used to make hiring recommedations for my old company, I would never recommend someone that might meet with the customer to be hired if they had any visible piercings (other than ears), or visible tattoos.

My old company was a defence contractor, working closely with the US Navy and other Nato navies. Presentation is everything with them. I remember one gal I wanted to hire that had the stupid idea of getting a very noticeable tattoo on her neck of all places. She was a smart programmer, a good engineer, but I had tell management that she would have to be "hidden" whenever the customer came calling. We did hire her, but we also told her she would never meet with the customer. In fact on a number of occasions we sent her out on "errands" or to seminars on the days which we were demonstrating to the customer.

Piercings can be in your face obvious, or well hidden. Hidden enough that they do not become an issue as she grows up and moves into the adult world. But you should sit her down and explain they can have an impact on her professional choices and chances. Its not something one should do because all her friends are doing it, its not something she should do without consideration as to how it might impact her.

My impression here is to advise you to be cautious. She is, after all, only your step-daughter, not your real daughter. If you feel so strongly about it, I'd suggest sitting her down and talking to her as an adult and perhaps a friend instead of the highly pissed off parent.

I hope that you do not mind a little advice from a woman that has her's done. One thing that you might point out to her is that the hole does not always close up after it is take out and the whole will stretch when she decieds to have a baby.

I agree 15 is to young to get it done. I personally dont think that most 15 year olds are responsible enought to take care of it and keep it clean. As for it looking slutty that depends on the person who wears it and the people who see it.

I agree with Bobmi357 the best way to talk to her would be as more of a friend than a parent. I know how my sister reacted when she got hers done at 16 and my mom got so mad at her that they had a huge argument and my sister left and moved in with my dad. And to this day my mom and sister still dont get along. And as it turned out my mom was right and my sister did not take care of it and had to have it removed and put on antibotics b/c she got an infection.

GOOD LUCK

It would turn me on to see it.

Seriously, if it were my daughter I would hit the ever-lovin' roof. I'm traditional as can be.

But Emerald_eyed made the best point when she said custody of that belly button goes along with custody of the body it is attached to. It might burn you up to see it but you can't do anything about it.

So you have to live with it.

I feel like a slut now... i got mine done when I was 15 (when next to no one had it done)

NOT! lol.

but i followed it with nipple piercing, and lip ... but not my ears...

I didn't dress whory *except when the doors were closed with my friends or boyfriend* I didn't look or act whory with short skirts and all. I was more of the "rocker" kid.

I think it depends on the person. After all, its not a tattoo... its not permanent. If they are old enough and have enough respect to take care of it and not get it infected, and they can pay for it, and ask permission from parents to have it done.. and wait at least a month after the decision bc alot of last minute decisions aren't good...

My mother picked her fights with me. No tattos (fine with me) piercings as long as I know what I'm getting into and showed her I did my research (she doesn't know about the nipple though to this day) and found a reptuble place and raised the money myself.
I couldnt' do drastic things to my hair... but i could still play with it all I wanted, same with make up. Hair grows and makeup can be washed off

::shrug::

pick your battles.

Specifically on the slutty question... I don't think a belly ring will make her look slutty, it's what she wears with it that might. Belly rings are as much a fasion statement as pierced ears now-a-days. Certainly not as popular but not restricted to the slutty/bad/rebellious girls either.

As long as she's a good kid otherwise, I wouldn't be concerned.

I'm not really sure if 15 is too young or not. I just don't really have any feelings either way. I don't think it's automatically slutty though. Bobmi's got it right. Sit her down and TRY to explain to her about her future job situations. I say try because 15 may be too young for most kids to really care or think about the future. I've held off getting a tattoo partly for just the reason Bobmi stated. I'm not going to get a tattoo where a prospective employer might notice it. I do have my ears pierced, but I don't ever think of wearing my earrings if I'm going to an interview. In fact, I've stopped wearing them almost entirely since my last job was very white collar. While a belly button ring isn't something an employer should ever be able to see, let her know that other modifications that she may want in the future could affect her for years to come. I don't most body piercings or tattoos, but I did think about how the public might view such things when I used to be a manager and had to interview employees. If you can, find some people you know with tats or piercings that have had to cover them up for work. Let them tell her how much a pain it can be to hide them on a daily basis from the boss.

I knew some girls who got ones relatively young, and I thought it was pointless. I can understand one's want to pierce, but it seems like all they'd ever do is just show everyone their infections. Plus, they were always showing other girls. Granted I don't know what they were doing behind closed doors with anyone since none of them were actually my friends, but I think it would ultimately depend on the girl. Whether or not she's going to act slutty wouldn't depend on the belly ring...either way she would act like it or not.

my two cents

Voice your displeasure, and move on and get over it its done now. If she's basically a good kid, and been raised correctly, theres not a problem. A piece of body jewlry does not make a girl a slut, no matter how old she is.

Like others I don't think its necessarily slutty, it really depends on what she wears with it. Its so common these days anyway I wonder why people do it these days as its not "hip" anymore, sorta like tattoos on the small of the back.

as a piercer.......

i would not pierce a girl under the age of 14. but there's a specific reason for that - girls under 14 still have a growth spurt to go, and it's mostly in the abdomen.
so piercing there before 14 may cause problems.

as for it being 'slutty'......... good god man! get a grip on the reality of today! it's called 'self-expression' and it is a normal, healthy part of growing up. and the fact that it can be taken out and/or hidden makes it a fairly harmless form of modification.

you're lucky she told you about it at all - most get it done and then hide it from their parents for the next few years! (how many have i done that parents were completely unaware of? lol - loads!)
at least she's up-front enough with you to tell you. that shows a measure of trust with you - even tho you might not see it that way right now.

piercing has the advantage of not being regarded as 'permanent', so don't get overly stressed about something that is changeable. let her go through a moderated phase of breaking-out of the mold, and be there if she needs you.

I think slutty is more a description of actions than a fashion statement here.

She got a body piercing. Does it make her a slut?

While we as older adults might not agree with some of the kids' fashion statements (but then did OUR parents back in the day?)- we do have to give themthe room to express themselves. Explain to her why you disapprove and the dangers inherent with it. Ask her why the first two places she went to wouldn't do it- what was their rationale? And like warrior quenn mentioned- thank her for her honesty; that way it doesn't set up a wall of distrust for future mishaps.

honestly, i don't see anything wrong with a pierced belly button. I like em, but that's just my opinion. I mean it's not like they're permanent like a tattoo. Just gotta makesure ya keep it clean or it'll get infected, see that happen... not good.

J

Belly button rings

I agree not till she is 18,if she lives in your house make her follow your rules!

Angel

Re: Belly button rings

Bobmi357 said:

I certainly wouldn't call it slutty. But I would call it bad judgement.

Today's society seems to push people into body modifications that don't really make a lot of sense. And as a person that used to make hiring recommedations for my old company, I would never recommend someone that might meet with the customer to be hired if they had any visible piercings (other than ears), or visible tattoos.

My old company was a defence contractor, working closely with the US Navy and other Nato navies. Presentation is everything with them. I remember one gal I wanted to hire that had the stupid idea of getting a very noticeable tattoo on her neck of all places. She was a smart programmer, a good engineer, but I had tell management that she would have to be "hidden" whenever the customer came calling. We did hire her, but we also told her she would never meet with the customer. In fact on a number of occasions we sent her out on "errands" or to seminars on the days which we were demonstrating to the customer.

Piercings can be in your face obvious, or well hidden. Hidden enough that they do not become an issue as she grows up and moves into the adult world. But you should sit her down and explain they can have an impact on her professional choices and chances. Its not something one should do because all her friends are doing it, its not something she should do without consideration as to how it might impact her.

My impression here is to advise you to be cautious. She is, after all, only your step-daughter, not your real daughter. If you feel so strongly about it, I'd suggest sitting her down and talking to her as an adult and perhaps a friend instead of the highly pissed off parent.

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GRRRR--- I know all about the health risks etc.. but seeing people get descriminated against because of how they look truely pisses me off. now, before anybody makes rash decisions, i dont have any piercings other than my ears, and i have one tattoo {very small one on my back} i dotn have purple hair, the oddest thing about me is a grey streak in my bangs {which is natural... i didnt dye it that way}. Personally I think that hiding people is a form of racism. im not trying to start a fight or argument. I just get really irked when I see this kind of descrimination. so what if the girl had a tattoo.. shouldnt it come down to her skills as a programmer, not her personal appearance? If she chose to do it, then she has to live with it yes, BUT! its her choice. as i said.. im truely not tring to start a fight- just want to get my point across

now, about the 15 yr old??? i can understand why someone would be upset over it. but, its done. you cant realy make it go away. you can make her take it out, but! that will just make you the 'bad guy' -- i agree that you should sit down and have a conversation with her about it.. and personally i would stress the hygiene issue.. the belly button is a pretty grimey place, and theres alot of chance of infection. just remember, its a form of self expression.. she might have wanted it to 'fit in' {peer pressure can be a bitch--whether it be smoking, drinking, having sex, or getting a piercing}...

this is just my opinion of things.. and again, let me stress, i am NOT trying to start a fight... I just wanted to get a different point of view out.

~~5PHF

Well to be honest i wouldnt go near a girl with Piercings.
Its just not something i find at all attractive.

I guarantee the only reason young people have it done is because their friends had it done or it appears to be cool.
When all this piercing crap came around it was to rebel, look independant and unique etc but nowadays everyone has it done and its no more individual than watching TV.

The way i see it if they want to put pointless holes in themselves to 'improve' their image then let them, its their body, thier choice.....once they are over 18.

If your Daughter wants it done let her...when shes over 18. Id personally make her take out the ring and let it heal up. If she wants it done again when shes old enough then thats her choice but while shes still a minor she is her parents responsibility, no matter how mature she thinks she is.

As some one who had her belly button peirced then had it removed ( all before it became the "it" thing to do ) I can give the stepparent a lilttle peace of mind. Your best course of action right now will be to let her know that you love her and will support her. But also tell her that while, yes you do support her, explain to her why you do not agree with this particular action. Unless she has a true reason as to why she did this it will fade away with time and the only thing she will remember is that you supported her and you will come out looking like the hero.

UC_Gav said:

Well to be honest i wouldnt go near a girl with Piercings.
Its just not something i find at all attractive.

I guarantee the only reason young people have it done is because their friends had it done or it appears to be cool.
When all this piercing crap came around it was to rebel, look independant and unique etc but nowadays everyone has it done and its no more individual than watching TV.

The way i see it if they want to put pointless holes in themselves to 'improve' their image then let them, its their body, thier choice.....once they are over 18.

If your Daughter wants it done let her...when shes over 18. Id personally make her take out the ring and let it heal up. If she wants it done again when shes old enough then thats her choice but while shes still a minor she is her parents responsibility, no matter how mature she thinks she is.

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oh puh-leeaaasse!!!

body modification is less about following the pack or showing your 'coolness'....
and more about excercising your rights to self-determination in a world increasingly controlling of your every move and thought.

and tell me, were you NEVER 15???

gees.

Actually Warrior Queen, im still only 20 and i have alot of female friends. When i ask them why bother, Every single one of them that has a piercing or has considered them have replied "I dunno, they look cool" or "Someone else has one" etc.

They dont care less about expressing themselves they are expressing the local or current trend of what looks cool.

Im still young but ive never seen the point behind any form of Body Modifications. Whether its Something simple like Piercings or Tattoos to something like Surgery. I know im individual and my own person without needing some Label or Tag attaching to me to indicate that. I mean who thinks that those Ear tags cattle 'wear' look cool.


And Marines Sister made a very good point. If the father involed simply stands against the whole idea then chances are the next time she spends time with her mother she will return with another piercing somewhere else. If you stand against it like a wall then guaranteed your child will want to go around or over you and get it done regardless. If you support her and explain your feelings to her without being too soft then chances are your more likely to get through to her and understand each others point of view.

Just to make things clear at one point I did have peircings and yes i do have tattoos they all hold a a very special meaning to me the tattoos that is. As far as the belly thing I got that when I was 14 one of the main reasons I did get it was because I was told no and my parental units did not give me a reason as to why they said no. So ofcourse I went behind their backs and did it anyway. I firmly believe that had they said yes and took me to see what it was all about that would have been as far as it got.