Committed couples who decided to live with sexual problems.

God Bless the committed couple who can say they never had any significant issues in the bedroom.

This is about couples who have committed to keeping their relationship under trying circumstances. Sex is an issue for them, but for whatever reason, they have decided the issue won't be a reason for them to break up. Instead, they are (trying to) find some way to cope.

This is the couple that says, "I love him/her dearly but perhaps I should have found someone else way back when because the sex issues have been a real problem. But we're committed, and we go forward together from where we are now."

Yes, I know counseling, communication, yadda, yadda, yadda.

But what if the problem just doesn't lend itself to that? Sometimes you just agree to disagree and go on, but someone is still frustrated.

What is your personal knowledge of coping methods? Heavy masturbation? Get a Sybian? Get permission for a second partner? Take a love without permission? Hang on Literotica 24/7?

This is not a discussion of cheating!. If someone says cheating is their coping solution, PLEASE assume that they have read all the wisdom of the other threads, and don't get sidetracked into morality.

Think practical things that have worked for you or someone you know....

Well, I know I can't speak for anyone else. This thread is going to require that people understand that of ANY poster.

J and I have had problems in the past. Sexually and otherwise. I lost ALL interest in sex as a side effect of Zoloft once. Before we realized that and changed my medication, I didn't care to have sex. If we did, I would enjoy it but physically could NOT have an orgasm. This frustrated J to no end, but also made me want sex less every time.

Eventually, J did turn to porn (online and otherwise) at least as a sexual outlet. The thing with this is that it hurt me because he hid it from me and acted horribly secretive about it. Instead of allowing me to help or share it or whatever could be done in that situation (I still don't know exactly what it was I wanted to be able to do) he would hide from me, going so far once as to retreat into our bedroom (where the computer was in the old house) and masturbate to the online porn while I was downstairs feeding our son. My mother was visiting and took Alekz to burp him, and I went upstairs to just say hi and maybe get a hug that I needed. Needless to say, I walked in on J. I can't even begin to explain how long that hurt, how long it took me to not think of that every time he approached me in any sexual (or even nonsexual physical intimate) manner.

We're still working on problems like this. They pop up once in a while when I least expect them. It was one coping technique though. One that, had there been communication surrounding it, would have been perfectly okay.

Three cents.
Ang

My sweetie and I have been in two car accidents together. Neither was our fault, just to clarify. Now, I always have a raging sex drive. Always have, since I let myself enjoy sex. (way too long of an explanation). Anyway, my sweetie has a lower sex drive than me, but also lower than most of my past partners. He just doesn't crave it like I do, and he rarely masturbates, etc.

Now to the car accidents. His rehab through those accidents basically killed whatever meagre sex drive there was in him. He just didn't want it. I'd go months at a time, at the longest, without sex. This bugged the hell out of me, but I knew it wasn't because he didn't find me attractive, as he showed me that he thought me beautiful and that he loved me, in other ways. I just wanted to be intimate with him and it was frustrating that he didn't have any desire for it. So I turned to masturbation. Now, I'm not shy about masturbating. I don't hide it from him when I do (actually, I usually tell him I'm going to do it, or that I've done it, right away). So that was how we've gotten through that mini sex crisis.

My sex drive has been dropping of late, and I think it's weight-related. I gained weight over Christmas, and was feeling really unattractive, and just didn't want to be intimate with him, because I worried about how ugly my body would look, being all jiggly. I'm sure it bugged the hell out of him, but he was really patient. He masturbated a couple times, but always told me, and often showed me what he masturbated to (he likes porn). I'm starting to feel better about myself, and so my libido is picking back up, and we're resuming the way things were when we first got together... *grin* It's like a second honeymoon of sorts.

At first I found it somewhat difficult to think of any problem which could not be solved with one or more of the methods you mentioned. But then I thought about it a bit deeper and did manage to come up with a few possibilities.

This isn't an issue about him wanting to wear her lingerie and her refusing, or she wants to dress up in black leather and whip his ass and he refuses. Those kind of issues can be dealt with. This isn't about one spouse having a depression problem or anything like that because, again it can be dealt with.

What can't be readily dealt with is the crushing blow one feels when faced with a crippling disability or illness. If I woke up tomorrow and was told I could never make love to my wife again, somehow we'd cope. We'd talk about the options available to us and somehow come to a solution.

I don't honestly know what we'd finally decide, but I do know we'd do it together.

One couple I knew, then in their 40's. They had been married for nearly 20 yrs, but in the third year of their marriage, she had been severely injured in an automobile crash and left in a wheel chair. She had little feeling below her waist at all. Fortunately for both of them, they had enough time to have one child before the accident happened. Anyway, one day with a few too many drinks in him at an office party, he confided that he had cheated a few times on her, but generally she kept him very happy with hand and blow jobs. They came to realize at a very early stage that he needed some form of sex and he didn't want to stray. So despite having no desire at all, she managed to oblige him as best as she was able to. Largely that was good enough for them, and although she had given him permission to stray, he didn't like doing that and in fact had only strayed a few times in the whole 20 yrs.

So you ask yourself, why did they stay together? I think the answer is quite simple. They were friends, and they were still lovers. He loved her to death, and she returned that love.

That couple taught me a valuable lesson. You cope, you live and love, you try hard to understand, and when life kicks you in balls, you have a friend to help pick you up and go forward.

-------------------------------------------------
I am curious about one thing, and this is directed to Celtic. Sure it was the drugs that killed your libido, but why did you impose your lack of desire on J? Your desire dropped, did you expect his to drop in relation to yours? We presume he is a regular, fully functional adult male, if masturbating is his only outlet short of cheating on you, why get angry and upset about it?

I'm not trying to get you angry or anything, but I know another couple that is in a similar boat. She's hates that he surfs porn sites and rags on him about it, yet they have zero sex.

Personally I've never masturbated in front of my wife, nor she in front of me. I am not sure how or what she'd think if she caught me pounding Mr. Happy given her currently low libido. She's given me plenty of handjobs tho, and for the most part, I do not find myself compelled to masturbate all that often. And if I do, I usually go to her for a lending hand if you catch my drift.

Well, I never use to think I had a sexual problem but now I'm finding I have more than one...First and foremost let me say I love my husband, have since the day I met him and always will. I also know he loves me. He is very sexually creative and always has been. I, however, don't find myself turned on by him like before we were married. I have had medication changes but I don't believe its due to that because I do find myself sexually turned on by other men. I keep telling myself its because I have always had this self image problem and I want to prove to myself ( and the men I find myself attracted to) that larger women are a turn on. I guess I should mention that both my hubby and I are larger sizes. I know this probably sounds like a cop out but I really have no other explanation. I won't leave him and I have great faith that he won't leave me. He waited for me for 5 years when I was in another relationship and he has never wavered in his love. I also want to say I am not advocating cheating in any way, shape or form though we both have had other partners during our marriage, we have both kept open minds and discovered we still love each other and we go on.

Bobmi357 said:

I am curious about one thing, and this is directed to Celtic. Sure it was the drugs that killed your libido, but why did you impose your lack of desire on J? Your desire dropped, did you expect his to drop in relation to yours? We presume he is a regular, fully functional adult male, if masturbating is his only outlet short of cheating on you, why get angry and upset about it?

I'm not trying to get you angry or anything, but I know another couple that is in a similar boat. She's hates that he surfs porn sites and rags on him about it, yet they have zero sex.

Personally I've never masturbated in front of my wife, nor she in front of me. I am not sure how or what she'd think if she caught me pounding Mr. Happy given her currently low libido. She's given me plenty of handjobs tho, and for the most part, I do not find myself compelled to masturbate all that often. And if I do, I usually go to her for a lending hand if you catch my drift.

Click to expand...

Okay. I know right now that I probably won't be able to explain this in the fashion that I want to. The words just won't come the way I mean.

Having said that, I don't think the problem was him masturbating or even the porn. The problem was the lack of communication surrounding it. I was willing to provide hand/blowjobs or even watch porn with him, etc... the problem was he wouldn't even talk to me about how his sexual needs weren't quite being met. He just went to the other outlet without finding out how I felt regarding sex at all. He didn't bother to ask me one way or the other why I didn't seem to want sex as much as usual, or at all. He pretended that his libido had dropped, presumably to protect me from guilt, and went behind my back. Essentially, it was not the porn itself that bugged me (we both love it), but the lack of communication. He never talked to me about it, he never voiced his concern, and he never acknowledged that there might possibly be a problem. I tried on more than one occasion to start a conversation about the subject of sex and what was going on, and basically got enough one-word answers that I would give up within 5 minutes, frustrated and feeling more guilty than ever. Eventually, my feelings of guilt were joined by anger, worse depression, inadequacy, and jealousy. Among others.

If he would have even tried to turn me on (not just say, "hey babe, let's have sex" or shove his crotch into my ass while I was working in the kitchen) before taking care of himself, that would have been better. If he would have said ANYTHING AT ALL about his feelings, that would have been better.

We're still having problems with either of us talking about sex. We're both tight-lipped sometimes. But I know I'm trying, and I'd like to think that he might be as well.

Does that help clarify, or do I need to keep going?

Ang

CelticFrog said:

Does that help clarify, or do I need to keep going?
Ang

Click to expand...

Nope, you said it well enough.

Let me see if I can try to put this into some sort of perspective for you though. I've been in J's shoes, I'm still in J's shoes to some extent, so another male perspective might be useful to you.

For me, masturbation is a rather private matter. My home life didn't include a lot of personal stuff like that. Little in the way of family closeness or hugging ever happened. Hell, I learned about the birds and the bees on my own, from what I could pick up from friends. My parents never gave me the "talk". So masturbating is kind of embarassing still, despite my knowing for the past 20 or more years that this is a natural thing. I can't help it, and I don't even want to think about how ashamed I'd feel if my wife walked in on my jerk off session. I don't know you, I don't know J, but I do know if he had the kind of upbringing I've had, for him masturbating is embarassing. Add to that the fact that he's doing it because he's not getting release from his own wife which only compounds the embarassment with a feeling of failure.

Then you catch him in the act.... He's angry with himself because he feels that he's let you down (mainly because deep down he still wonders if somehow he isn't responsible for your loss of interest), he's embarassed, and suddenly he feels like the 5yr old caught with his fingers smeared in paint, and the wall covered in fingerpaintings.

I can understand how you'd feel hurt, but to be honest, your initial reaction probably led to a major fight between you two. Its a shame we're not built with a logic override that takes over before we let initial emotional reactions say things we might regret later.

From my perspective its still hard to open up the conversation about not having enough sex. J may feel the same way. To me it sounds like I'm complaining about there not being enough cookies in the jar, and its a very hard conversation to have without sounding accusing.

I can't really say whats going on in J's head, but I will say this, if you can have some productive conversations most of the time, and some are just useless because of a lack of feedback, you've probably hit on an issue he finds big time embarassing. Embarassment is an emotion, and that means its hard to control it.

Something I would like to note, Bobmi, although many of your points are valid, is that if little feedback on topics is a sign of embarrassment, then every single topic regarding sex must lead to some sort of embarrassment. At least in this particular case.

The fact that he can be open (sometimes overly so) about things like this until he's talking to me is what hurt the most, I think. It makes me feel like I'm not trusted with his feelings, but other people are. Some of it, I'm sure, is the fact that the internet can be a 'safer' place to voice opinions because people can't laugh at you to your face. However, not all of his openness is simply on the internet. Hell, some of it is directly in front of me with other people. And it's with people of both sexes.

So this is where the communication issue becomes an actual problem. Not simply embarrassment (of which I know plenty, because I have plenty of it from my own upbringing... his was much 'looser' than mine, I will add) but an actual communication as two normal adults problem. Which is where your statements on another thread come in...

No matter what, if there is a 'new' problem that is causing severely mismatched libidos, communication is key. If communication cannot be achieved, then the relationship has problems. Luckily for me, J is willing to at least TRY to communicate, and so we proceed in our relationship like that. We try. That is the best I can expect from anyone, and because of it I appreciate and love him all the more.

Ironically, now *I* can be the one with the higher sex drive occasionally. I think it's because I'm writing that much more.


Ang

CelticFrog said:

Okay. I know right now that I probably won't be able to explain this in the fashion that I want to. The words just won't come the way I mean.

Having said that, I don't think the problem was him masturbating or even the porn. The problem was the lack of communication surrounding it. I was willing to provide hand/blowjobs or even watch porn with him, etc... the problem was he wouldn't even talk to me about how his sexual needs weren't quite being met. He just went to the other outlet without finding out how I felt regarding sex at all. He didn't bother to ask me one way or the other why I didn't seem to want sex as much as usual, or at all. He pretended that his libido had dropped, presumably to protect me from guilt, and went behind my back. Essentially, it was not the porn itself that bugged me (we both love it), but the lack of communication. He never talked to me about it, he never voiced his concern, and he never acknowledged that there might possibly be a problem. I tried on more than one occasion to start a conversation about the subject of sex and what was going on, and basically got enough one-word answers that I would give up within 5 minutes, frustrated and feeling more guilty than ever. Eventually, my feelings of guilt were joined by anger, worse depression, inadequacy, and jealousy. Among others.

If he would have even tried to turn me on (not just say, "hey babe, let's have sex" or shove his crotch into my ass while I was working in the kitchen) before taking care of himself, that would have been better. If he would have said ANYTHING AT ALL about his feelings, that would have been better.

We're still having problems with either of us talking about sex. We're both tight-lipped sometimes. But I know I'm trying, and I'd like to think that he might be as well.

Does that help clarify, or do I need to keep going?

Ang

Click to expand...

You sound like you're having the classic male/female impass of communication, intimacy and sex:

Female: Communication leads to intimacy leads to sex
Male: Sex leads to intimacy leads to communication

You want communication from a man who's not getting enough sex. He wants sex from a woman who's not getting enough communication.

The two of you need to see it from the other's perspective.

It makes perfect sense that a man would fail to communicate about a problem of not getting enough sex, because, getting enough sex is a necessary foundation for intimate communication.

You, on the other hand, are acting predictably by not wanting to have sex until you've been communicated with.

As a woman, you feel comfortable communicating any old time. You don't need a reason and you don't need to reach intimacy before you starting to communicate.

As a man, he feels comfortable having sex any old time. He doesn't need a reason to have sex and doesn't need to be intimate before starting to have sex.

So... you not having sex with him has the same effect on him as him not talking to you. He's just as hurt as you are and, of course, he's not talking about it (because he hasn't had sex yet).

One of you has to take the initiative and give the other what they want so you can both get to intimacy. Since you're the one reading this, it's up to you to let him know that you *really* love him by having sex with him. You can say anything you want but it's empty words until he can feel it physically.

Have sex with him *then* try talking to him about the problem.

Why do you have to give him what he needs first? Because you're the one reading this. If I were talking to him, I'd say the opposite (that he needs to talk to you before tying to get you into the sack).

Will it work? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not, but it's worth a shot...

angela146 said:

**snip**

Female: Communication leads to intimacy leads to sex
Male: Sex leads to intimacy leads to communication

You want communication from a man who's not getting enough sex. He wants sex from a woman who's not getting enough communication.

The two of you need to see it from the other's perspective.

It makes perfect sense that a man would fail to communicate about a problem of not getting enough sex, because, getting enough sex is a necessary foundation for intimate communication.

You, on the other hand, are acting predictably by not wanting to have sex until you've been communicated with.

So... you not having sex with him has the same effect on him as him not talking to you. He's just as hurt as you are and, of course, he's not talking about it (because he hasn't had sex yet).

One of you has to take the initiative and give the other what they want so you can both get to intimacy. Since you're the one reading this, it's up to you to let him know that you *really* love him by having sex with him. You can say anything you want but it's empty words until he can feel it physically.

Have sex with him *then* try talking to him about the problem.

Why do you have to give him what he needs first? Because you're the one reading this. If I were talking to him, I'd say the opposite (that he needs to talk to you before tying to get you into the sack).

Will it work? I don't know. Maybe, maybe not, but it's worth a shot...

Click to expand...

I disagree with you.

On several points. In a general case, you would possibly be correct. In mine, you are wrong.

I do want sex. Even then, when I (medically) didn't want sex, I wanted to be able to have sex with him. The fact that we were not having sex was not creating the lack of communication. This has always been a problem with us, whether we're having sex five times a day or less than once a month.

I do see things from his perspective. I've taken a LOT of time talking to his therapist and mine and all kinds of other people in order to see 'his side' of things. I understand this.

I am not the only one reading this. He actively participates on lit as well. The fact that I talk about things that we've had problems with is simply one of the ways I participate here. Sometimes it leads to more communication. Sometimes it doesn't.

Something I don't think you read in my earlier posts is that we are still having a sexual communication problem. We have a lot of sex (not as much as I'd like in the last few weeks, but we've had medical reasons to not) and still don't quite have the communication thing down. I would suggest you read the "do you find it difficult to talk about sex" thread in order to more effectively understand both my situation and communication RE: sex better. Not every couple is as cut and dry as you have put it. I don't even think it's half of all couples.

I do NOT ask for communication before sex, at least with J. One of many ways that I am not a 'typical' female.

"it's up to you to let him know that you *really* love him....."
Okay. In all honesty, that sentence really pissed me off. I know you're probably trying to help. But that, I have to say, was flat out bullshit. In no way is forcing one's self to have sex just to prove love a smart thing. Again, refer to another thread... "Does your spouse (SO) have the right..." I do not have to have sex with my husband to prove I love him. And by doing that, I would simply be lowering myself to the level of a whore. Seriously. I have sex with my husband because I want to share that with him. Not just because he wants it. Hell... like I said earlier, I've wanted it more than him lately. Does he communicate any better when we've had more sex? No. If anything, he tends to communicate less.

So in my situation, I believe you are totally misguided. I believe you are misreading my previous posts. It is entirely possible that your advice will help someone else. I hope it does. But I also hope that women will not just go 'give it up' to get their SO to communicate, because in my experience (with all my exes as well) that does NOT happen.

Communication is needed on all levels, not just sexually. If you have to have sex in order to communicate, there is something much deeper that needs addressing.

Three cents.
Ang

I agree that angela misread Celtic's posts, in regards to both the past & the present situation
And as far as her advice, I would say it would NOT work for many couples
They need to find more of a happy median
And certainly telling a woman who can't stomach the idea of sex that she should just give it up in order to "earn" communication isn't going to go over well
In fact, that whole scenario turns sex, affection, and communication in to commodities, things to be traded and bartered instead of shared willingly and freely
How about some counseling, some mutual respect, and some middle ground?

Sheesh

A situation I've mentioned before but will mention again is that of my friends Cat & Viper
They have a wonderful, strong, loving relationship, with kids and a lot of history
Quite a few years ago, Viper was in a serious car wreck and had his back severely & permanently injured
He lacks some movement and function, and often suffers severe pain
He therefore is rarely able to provide physical attention, and sometimes even affection, to Cat
Cat, I should add, has a VERY strong libido...the woman is a damn Energizer Bunny
So they use porn, storytelling, and masturbation both with Viper in attendance and with Cat on her own to satisfy some of her urges
And sometimes, when she really needs more they find a mutual friend (like me) who is available and willing, and they arrange for her to get more direct attention...always with Viper's knowledge & attention
This works for them because they both know neither of them is going anywhere & their love is strong, and they would never allow anyone in who doesn't understand this
I don't think it would work for everyone but in their case it all works out

Ok... Ranger going weapons free...
A) She does N-O-T , have to give me sex for me to talk to her. There is NOWAY in gods green earth that I would MAKE her do anything to PROVE that she loves me, As far as I'm concerned marrying me was enough.
B) I'm a guy... hence I like porn.
C) I'm a guy... hence I will spank the monkey til the day I die, no matter how much sex I get.
D) The reason I don't communicate has to do with 6 hellish months I spent in Bosnia, where my very good friend bled to death in my arms, Where you really learn what kind of person you are.(that kinda shuts a guy down, no matter how together he is)
E) Communication skills are improving on both fronts due to a) intensive PTSD therapy for me, and b) Ang being on better meds.

So... to summerize... I don't communicate because there is a good section of my rather tarnished soul that is utterly void of emotion due to Bosnia, Kosovo and several other combat zones I spent a good portion of my Army career in, You have to be able to shut down like that if you're trained to kill people for a living otherwise you crack and are totally useless in those situations. The down side is you lose the ability to distinguish from combat situatuions and normal everyday life. You know, cars backfiring make you think you're taking incoming fire and such. So just imagine what happens when a combat vet has a bad day at work and comes home and gets into an argument with his loving wife. It goes bad, old impulses kick in, and you redline and are back where I like to call "down range." It sucks, but it's getting better. So next time someone tries to characterize me... or anyone who has seen any type of REAL combat as a "Typical male" refer to this thread and shut your man pleaser.

Ranger going weapons safe...

J

Well, I'm sure I deserved that somehow...

I will know better than to reply to either of you in the future.

James G 5 said:

A situation I've mentioned before but will mention again is that of my friends Cat & Viper
They have a wonderful, strong, loving relationship, with kids and a lot of history
Quite a few years ago, Viper was in a serious car wreck and had his back severely & permanently injured
He lacks some movement and function, and often suffers severe pain
He therefore is rarely able to provide physical attention, and sometimes even affection, to Cat
Cat, I should add, has a VERY strong libido...the woman is a damn Energizer Bunny
So they use porn, storytelling, and masturbation both with Viper in attendance and with Cat on her own to satisfy some of her urges
And sometimes, when she really needs more they find a mutual friend (like me) who is available and willing, and they arrange for her to get more direct attention...always with Viper's knowledge & attention
This works for them because they both know neither of them is going anywhere & their love is strong, and they would never allow anyone in who doesn't understand this
I don't think it would work for everyone but in their case it all works out

Click to expand...

The last 2 paragraphs are exactly where I am.

angela146 said:

Well, I'm sure I deserved that somehow...

I will know better than to reply to either of you in the future.

Click to expand...

Hey, neither of them attacked YOU, called you names, or said anything personal
They simply explained why you were mistaken about what Celtci SAID
It was pretty clear you didn't understand her posts, so they were explaining
It's always best to understamd stuff before you reply to ANYONE, and if you're not sure ask before making assumptions

angela146 said:

Well, I'm sure I deserved that somehow...

I will know better than to reply to either of you in the future.

Click to expand...

My reply was anything but an attack. If It was you would know it, I just hate being categorized as a "Typical male" I am far from typical, Ask my wife and Sheath, they can back me up on that. It just miffed me to be stereotyped... If it pissed me off, everyone would know it... I lack tack, or so I've been told. Normal guys react the way you insinuated... and I ain't normal. So if you feel the need to not reply to any of Ang's posts or mine, honestly... I don't care, no skin off my teeth. I'm sure life will progress as it has so far.

J

I know I'm going to take major shit for this, but...

Sorry folks. Life isn't a fairy tale and is far too short. The best solution is the simplest; break it off and find a sexually satisfying relationship. There are no awards given out for tenacity. And, no, you're not a better or stronger person because you choose to put up with lack of sexual satisfaction.

If you've got kids and are worried about what splitting up will do to them, then you're clueless and don't see what NOT going separate ways does.

freddyandeddy said:

I know I'm going to take major shit for this, but...

Sorry folks. Life isn't a fairy tale and is far too short. The best solution is the simplest; break it off and find a sexually satisfying relationship. There are no awards given out for tenacity. And, no, you're not a better or stronger person because you choose to put up with lack of sexual satisfaction.

If you've got kids and are worried about what splitting up will do to them, then you're clueless and don't see what NOT going separate ways does.

Click to expand...

With all due respect...there are many, many more aspects to a relationship than just sexual satisfaction. Being unhappy with one part of a loving union is sometimes going to happen, both in and out of the bedroom...giving up on that union for the cause of better sexual satisfaction is for those who are not ready for a committed relationship in the first place.

S.

Yeah... What Sheathy-kins said... Just because you aren't satisfied, is a piss poor reason to break off a good relationship. It borders on spineless and self centered. Oh and if anything I say irritates anyone or offends anyone... Oh well... Nobody ever said you had to read any of my posts. So deal with it, I'm sure I'm not the only person that has ever "Pissed in your Cheereos." So with that said... Problems happen, it's a way of life. Ya can't please everyone all the time, yadda yadda yadda.

J

ABN_Ranger said:

Yeah... What Sheathy-kins said... Just because you aren't satisfied, is a piss poor reason to break off a good relationship. It borders on spineless and self centered. Oh and if anything I say irritates anyone or offends anyone... Oh well... Nobody ever said you had to read any of my posts. So deal with it, I'm sure I'm not the only person that has ever "Pissed in your Cheereos." So with that said... Problems happen, it's a way of life. Ya can't please everyone all the time, yadda yadda yadda.

J

Click to expand...

I have to agree with Ranger and Sheath on this one. It can't just be sexual satisfaction there has to be a mutual respect and an unconditional amount of love.

Okay. Seriously.
If Ranger and I never had sex again, I would still stay married to him for the rest of my life. Granted, I would probably be well served to buy stock in several toy manufacturing companies.
If I could never have sex again, I am confident Ranger would stay with me. There are plenty of other things that keep us together. Oh, say, LOVE.

**edited to snip nasty namecalling**

Ang

You guys are so friggin' absurd. Sex is one of the major reasons for taking a relation for life. Be married for the rest of your life to someone you don't have sex with? Why not just be best friends? Self-centered? If anything is self-centered it's sacrificing your desire to give (and receive) the ultimate gift of yourself with your spouse. To know my wife would not want me in a sexual way would be devastating! Do you really think you're being fair to either of you to deny this apect of your relationship? And for the REST of your lives?

Sad.

freddyandeddy said:

You guys are so friggin' absurd. Sex is one of the major reasons for taking a relation for life. Be married for the rest of your life to someone you don't have sex with? Why not just be best friends? Self-centered? If anything is self-centered it's sacrificing your desire to give (and receive) the ultimate gift of yourself with your spouse. To know my wife would not want me in a sexual way would be devastating! Do you really think you're being fair to either of you to deny this apect of your relationship? And for the REST of your lives?

Sad.

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Would you really walk away from someone you said you love? If you would then I'm glad you're not here. Being in love means making a commitment, wedding vows say for better or for worse, in sickness and in health. Its not easy. Nothing worth having is ever easy. If I were like you I would have lost the best thing to ever happen to me more than once. I'm not trying to pick a fight, everybody is different, but I feel once that commitment is made you should fight to preserve it, if you truly love that person. If you are so willing to walk away then maybe it wasn't really love in the 1st place. I guess its a good thing we are all entitled to our own opinion.

scary....Feddy claims to be an elementary school teacher
Apparently he's taking his outlook on relationships and their longevity and value from his students